SHORT REVIEW: BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

4/5

Good Scribblings

3 Mins. Starring: John Goodman, Molly Cartwright, Emily Eaton-Plowright, Gregan Aherin, Harrison Peters & Aaron Juritz. Director: Taika Waititi. On: Disney Plus.

Disney continue their John Lewis commercial like shorts (with plenty of product and IP placement) with their 'Best Christmas Ever' holiday short on Disney Plus. Much like the beautiful 'The Boy & The Octopus' last Christmas, 'Thor' director and 'The Mandalorian' star Taika Waititi ('Hunt For The Wilderpeople', 'Jojo Rabbit', 'Next Goal Wins') gives us a sweet short that is as outstanding as it is offbeat. Starring Molly Cartwright, Emily Eaton-Plowright, Gregan Aherin, Harrison Peters, Aaron Juritz and the great John Goodman, this is three minutes of bliss that will take you away from the stress of shopping for Christmas presents, between work and after the Black Friday you didn't have time to save for.

The 'Best Christmas Ever' has young Molly writing a letter to Santa, complete with a cute doodle, using all the colours in her pencil case. This fantasy comedy, with a twist, has St. Nick seeing more with those carrots. He thinks the penned picture is actually a request (perhaps he should have checked twice). And ends up conjuring up this cool looking creature. So, there's a lot more under the tree, come Christmas morning, with these rustling presents. And you thought an octopus under the winter hat was strange. And whilst we're there, dear Disney, why did you remove that short? I was planning to show my family when I come home for Christmas. And to think, we're still "crestfallen" off of the removal of 'The World According To Jeff Goldblum'.

Perhaps, I should stop talking, because that's the problem here. Our cuddly new, unwrapped companion, may have all the trimmings, but he's missing a mouth. Let alone a moustache. So, which Disney and Pixar favourite do you think will come in to save the day and help him. Crossing off all the seasons of the calendar. From a Spring in his step, to Summer swimming, and Autumn's trick or treat of Halloween in haunted mansions. All before the winter of next Christmas looks upon a star for another wish. Waititi's wonderful joy with John Goodman may just be scribbles, but it's bound to put a smile on the face of everyone, even those sucking on humbugs. It's going to be a great Christmas, like this. And for you and yours, we hope it's the best ever. TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'The Boy & The Octopus', 'An Almost Christmas Story', 'Inside Out'.

REVIEW: WEAPONS

4/5

RUN!

128 Mins. Starring: Josh Brolin, Julia Garner, Alden Ehrenreich, Austin Abrams, Cary Christopher, Justin Long, Toby Huss, Benedict Wong & Amy Madigan. Screenplay: Zach Cregger. Director: Zach Cregger. In: Theatres.

Finally watched 'Weapons' last night, and now I'll never ever be able to watch 'Naruto'. The Summer smash from the States that, like fellow scary 'Sinners', they're calling one of the best blockbusters of the calendar, finally rises with the sun in Japan, this fall. A land no stranger to being hallowed when it comes to horrors that haunt. But this truly terrifying and twisted picture is so scary it may even send that girl back into the well. Ringing up the receipts on the first of the month, where movies are discounted to half-price, mere weeks after Ethan Hawke dialled us in for the 'Black Phone 2' sequel that also supernaturally scared and scarred the s### out of us. Weaponizing our greatest fear, and a seemingly safe as suburbia, white-picket fenced America, writer and director Zach Cregger ('Barbarian') has just turned himself into the mainstream Ari Aster. All of a film inspired by Denis Villeneuve's 'Prisoners' and Paul Thomas Anderson's 'Magnolia' for this one battle after another.

There's more to this pre- and post-Halloween hit than meets the averted eye though for your jovial jump scares (I mean what genre can still truly affect us to the core, in this desensitized age, like this one?). Because this is no murder mystery, Agatha Christie. It's a horror mystery, with knives out. Redefining the genre, whilst also giving something to the 'Only Murders In The Building' tenants with this haunted house. The tense twists and cackling coils will really keep you guessing at this marvel, and it's going to take Thanos and a Silver Surfer to solve it (not to mention Wong). Originally though, it was meant to be Mr. Fantastic himself, Pedro Pascal, but filming was pushed back, due to the Hollywood labour disputes, and then schedules got conflicted (perhaps it was Aster's 'Eddington', here in Japan, later this month). At 2:17 AM, every kid, bar one, from a teacher's class woke up, got out of bed, walked downstairs, opened their front door, and ran out into the dark, arms wide, never to come back. Now, imagine trying to explain that one.

'Ozark' star Julia Garner tries to do her level best, in a film which she pilots from her first act perspective. With this, and the aforementioned 'Fantastic Four' redefining, in the same Summer, the former Netflix favourite's stock is soaring, like this gross film that's grossed $268.3 mill off of a 38 million dollar budget. She gives this crowd pleaser more nuance and depth, just like the underlying themes in the underbelly of this, and America. Whereas Brolin seems born for this position, as the 'Sicario' star is so good, his helpless father's anger could take the claws out of Hugh Jackman's in 'Prisoners'. Elsewhere, Benedict Wong is brilliant in principle, as a head trying to keep everything together and not lose his. Whilst 'Solo' and 'Ironheart's' Alden Ehrenreich cops a great character alongside Austin Abrams' ('Chemical Hearts', 'Wolfs') stoner looking like the walking dead. Yet in this epic ensemble, featuring the likes of Justin Long and Toby Huss, it's legend Amy Madigan (OH MY GOD, THAT'S HER FROM 'UNCLE BUCK'!) that will scare you senseless. And child actor Cary Christopher, who will show you his nerve. Bewitching a spell on you. 'Weapons' more than makes the grade. TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'Black Phone 2', 'Prisoners', 'Barbarian'.

REVIEW: TRAIN DREAMS

4/5

The Man Who Cut Down Trees

102 Mins. Starring: Joel Edgerton, Felicity Jones, Clifton Collins Jr., Alfred Hsing, Nathaniel Arcand, Kerry Condon & William H. Macy. Narrator: Will Patton. Screenplay: Clint Bentley & Greg Kwedar. Director: Clint Bentley. On: Netflix.

What dreams may come. The darkest horse for February's Academy Awards may just be a cerebral elegy so poetic, it should be one of Netflix's fall prestige pictures, whilst everyone is binging the final season of 'Stranger Things'. Clint Bentley's brutal and beautiful 'Train Dreams', adapting Denis Johnson's ('Jesus' Son', 'Tree Of Smoke') novel with Greg Kwedar ('Sing Sing'), starring ever underrated 'Loving' actor Joel Edgerton ('Black Mass', 'Midnight Special', 'Boy Erased'), will hit you in the home of where it hurts. If only we could still see it in cinemas, where it's nature looks as compelling as 'The Revenant'. A few birthday's back, my best friend brought me the book, 'The Black Fives: The Epic Story Of Basketball's Forgotten Era', by Claude Johnson. A beautiful basketball book, but also a rich and compelling history of industry in America. Just like this story, serving as a love letter to the landscape of the Stars and Stripes of the past. To paraphrase the great Ben Harper, somewhat, "you have to live my life to get boots (nailed to the tree trunk) like these."

More, "the man who cut down trees", than Jean Giono's 'The Man Who Planted Trees' (another story that also had a profound effect on me, this year), there are some poetic and powerful things to be said here about deforestation and the circles of times that ring true in the trunks. Most, delivered by campfire, by the great William H. Macy in one of his greatest roles yet, worthy of an award. Just like the feature and adapted screenplay nominations, these dreams from Sundance got at this calendar's Gotham Awards. Yet it's the engrossing Edgerton who you will stay with all the way through this epic about the life and times of a humble heart. Whether, it's the beautiful love shared with fellow 'Star Wars' actor, the fantastic Felicity Jones ('The Brutalist, 'The Theory Of Everything') in the meadow, literally playing house, and fondly feeling like family, like 'Loving' Ruth Negga. Or what the great Kerry Condon brings ('Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri', 'The Banshees of Inisherin'). Briefly, but beautifully. Just like the great Clifton Collins Jr. From '187', to 'Nightmare Alley', who will stir you more in one scene, than the echos of your wildest dreams. Or is that nightmares?

Narrated with nuanced beauty by 'Armageddon' actor Will Patton ('Remember The Titans', 'The Postman', 'Minari'). They don't hand out awards for narration. But if they did, he'd hold the envelope. It's funny, me and my friend, who had a running story (in good heart and humour) about the space shuttle his character leaves on the stoop in 'Armageddon', just got talking again about all that, this week, ten years later, thanks to Facebook memories. And you know what, from 'Blood On Her Name', to an award-winning turn in the late, great Sam Shepard's play 'Fool For Love', Will really is something. As are the haunting stuntman and martial artist Alfred Hsing and Nathaniel Arcand's ('Sinners') kindly shopkeeper. All across the American frontier, this logger longs for meaning in the madness of his life. From what he cuts, to what the fire takes at night, before a morning of ash and dust like fresh snowfall on the grey of his winter. Breaking down his career for Vanity Fair recently, 'Blue Moon' and 'Black Phone 2' accomplished actor Ethan Hawke brought back that famous saying about real movies starting the moment you leave the theatre. And when you put your laptop lid down, these dreams will stay with your waking train of thought until the end of the line. TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'Loving', 'The Power Of The Dog', 'The Revenant'.

TV REVIEW: FORTNITE X THE SIMPSONS

3/5

Doh-nite!

4 Episodes. Starring: Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Hank Azaria & Harry Shearer. Created By: Matt Groening. On: Hulu & Disney+.

I'm forty, I don't know much about Fortnite (I thought it was two weeks), but I do know something about 'The Simpsons', as my old a## buys a new Evergreen Terrace family sweatshirt from Japan's convenience store, Family Mart, like the two strands on the top of my scalp aren't starting to resemble Homer hair. But I will say this, Fornite x The Simpsons (the 'X' means "and", fellow old heads) was a lot of fun. Much like the 'Funday Football' collaboration with the NFL, this time last year. And now you can replay the live event that streamed from Stockholm on Disney Plus.

I'm more Lenny and Carl (not like that), than Bart and Milhouse, that I can't come up with any good reason why I would want to watch people play video games. OK. I guess I'm more Abe Simpson here. But this is a different type of Twitching. I always wanted to be the one actually playing the game, as I never did have a console as a kid. My parents said it would have distracted me from my studies. They had a point, but I proved them wrong by failing regardless. Yet, here this sponsored contents from Epic Games at Sweden's Comic Con gave us a taste of what it would be like if both The Simpsons and Fornite's worlds immersed and merged together. Exploring this universe really is epic. Whether you're hitting the Kwik-E-Mart, like Snake. Writing lines on the board with Bart. Or sleeping on the job with Homer at the nuclear power plant. It's all accessible. Everything you see under the cloud iconic titles of the Duff Blimp. Which has a different message each time, except that Ice Cube's a pimp!

And if you thought that was it, 'Apocalypse DOH'! As a series of Fortnite related short streams of episodes have been released weekly over this month to celebrate this collaboration with more "content"...that's what the cool kids say, apparently. This merger is made real by the lever pulling back and forth between some Fortnite heroes and your favourite space slobbering aliens who are still merely exchanging protein strings. Kudos to Kang and Kodos for making us not have to concentrate with the science bit. In the first of these epic episode shorts that you should eat, Homer finds a crystal that turns The Simpsons family TV remote control into something similar that Adam Sandler had in the classic 'Click'. With all that power in his hand, Homer can turn fire hydrants into chocolate ones, a cat into an Iron Man like Easter Egg (here's to the Marvel of their Disney neighbours) and our hairlines into something stronger than Mayor Quimby's latest excuse for leaving his mayoral sash draped on the balcony of some sleazy motel.

Then the Michael Keaton like 'Multiplicity' of the next episode, that plays like a trailer for this collaboration, is raining "mmm, donuts", ay, caramba. So much remote power, that even Professor Frink has to spilt. What with the forts and the nites, and soooo maaany bananaaaas.  All adding up to an actual, epic episode. As big as the attack of the 50-foot Homer, after police Chief Wiggum got his Neo in 'The Matrix' on, taking out more Homer's than Ohtani. What a trip in the clouds for 'The Simpsons'. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? All the way to the small season finale of 'The Incredible Bulk', with the yellow giant submerged like a submarine. You won't like him when he's hungry. It's enough to make that banana peel. For night time viewing, nothing is bigger than Homer and his new odyssey. Let's play. TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'The Simpsons: Yellow Planet', 'The Simpsons: The Past And The Furious', 'The Simpsons: Funday Football'.

STAND-UP REVIEW: SEBASTIAN MANISCALO - IT AIN'T RIGHT

4/5

Right On Time

57 Mins. Starring: Sebastian Maniscalo. Director: Paul Dugdale. On: Hulu & Disney +.

Ain't it always the way? You wait all day for a comedian to make you laugh, and then two come along all at once. On the same day that Kevin Hart returns to Netflix for his sensational special, 'Acting My Age', the great Sebastian Maniscalo jumps ship to Hulu and Disney Plus after giving Netflix the hilarious likes of 'Is It Me', 'Stay Hungry' and 'Aren't You Embarrassed'. What?! Is the 'Green Book' actor supposed to be doing this for free? Hart opened his return to Netflix with an all woman quartet's overture in Miami. Here, Maniscalo enters a sold-out Chicago stadium on a Ducati. Screw your stereotypes. And he has something to say about the Chi-town folk residing outside. Did the wind make their faces this way?

Maniscalo's mannerisms are as spot-on and unmatched as his outstanding observations. Returning to his roots in Illinois, Kevin Hart may offend the greatest of all-time Michael Jordan, with the baggy jeans of his special, but with 'It Ain't Right', Sebastian brings the old United Center house, that the Chicago Bull called home, all the way down as he raises to the stage with a microphone in his fist, held above his head in pride. The same pride that pulls off that baseball jacket, that's anything but minor league. I'm not joining in with Kev, Mike, what you did with baseball, and why, was actually beautiful. Number 23 has a statue outside of this center, but after what Maniscalo does unanimously with United, he deserves his jersey up there in the rafters with all those banners. Or at least a retirement of that jacket.

The round stage for a comic that's sold out Madison Square Garden is perfect for a man, who, like Kevin acting his age, needs to watch his MSG. This fiftysomething fellow comedian contemporary talks about how he looks now compared to the man in the mirror, twenties, going from Dorian Gray to Frankenstein. Although, we think this silver fox has still got it. Besides, I've just turned forty, but the party left my hairline a long time ago. Mirrors? I wish I was a vampire right now. And don't talk to me about the pale skin. Or get Sebastian started on teeth. I guess we all can't be Jeff Bezos. But what Maniscalo says about Amazon is prime-time viewing. Perhaps they need to sign him up for his next streaming comedy. Because this is better, albeit absolutely hilarious, product placement than that Ice Cube 'War Of The Worlds' disaster. For all the stuff you're pausing on TV now, this is one to actually watch and tell people about. The comedian who starred in the semi-autobiographical film, 'About My Father' with Robert De Niro, is in anything but a "slow decay". Ain't that right? TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: Sebastian Maniscalo - 'Is It Me', Sebastian Maniscalo 'Stay Hungry', Kevin Hart- 'Acting My Age'

STAND-UP REVIEW: KEVIN HART - ACTING MY AGE

4/5

Age Appropriate

66 Mins. Starring: Kevin Hart. Director: Leslie Small. On: Netflix.

Acting right, Kevin Hart gives us a blisteringly brilliant return to form with his new live special, 'Acting My Age', on Netflix. Over the 'Ride Along' years with this million's moving actor/comedian, he's rejuvenated previously cooked franchises with The Rock, almost hosted the Oscars, and been cancelled in the process. All over a doll house. But now, the biggest and smallest comedian on the planet is back. Following hilarious Netflix specials like 'What Now?', 'Irresponsible' and 'Zero F**ks Given', not to mention movies like 'Fatherhood', 'Me Time', 'Lift' and 'The Man From Toronto', or shows like 'True Story', his 'Guide To Black History', or his 'Headliners Only' compelling documentary with fellow stand-up icon, Chris Rock.

Headlining this, one week after contributing to Netflix's 'Being Eddie' documentary, Hart gives Miami some heat like Dwyane Wade and them. Flash forward to now, following his roast of Tom Brady, Kevin is back spreading his feathers with the most successful streaming service after briefly leaving for Peacock for a 'Reality Check'. All on the same day that fellow hilarious contemporary Sebastian Maniscalo does the same thing for Hulu and Disney Plus ('It Ain't Right'). Setting it all off with an outstanding overture, it's a grand return and a beautiful reception of applause for a man who can't quite believe it himself. The all-female classic quartet bringing the house down with musical beauty behind perfect pianist Chloe Flower. All before, Hart launches into a joke about holding a dinner, so a family member could reveal he was gay. They already knew. And you already know that Kevin isn't for the faint of heart.

Yet the only one whose really going to be offended is Michael Jordan and those big a## jeans of his, as Kevin Hart goes for the G.O.A.T. of comedy again. More mature, and medicinal, with age. So take those laptops out of your back pockets and watch this like Usher. Because we need to talk about how Kevin is bringing it all back. The hilarious voices, mannerisms and body movements. It'll have you telling him your government name and social security number. And "let's ride" again on a real safari where Kevin beats his chest meeting a silver back gorilla before he drops the mic. King Kong ain't got s### on him! This is 40...and it's never been so funny. Whether he's telling us the old state he doesn't want to be in, with hilarious Martin Lawrence 'Runteldat' repercussions. Or saying he just wants to speak his mind, like the late, great Quincy Jones in his final inspired interviews. This might not be appropriate for everyone. But acting right, Kevin Hart is still one of the classic comics of our age. TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: Kevin Hart - 'Irresponsible', Sebastian Maniscalo - 'It Ain't Right', 'Headliners Only'.

REVIEW: BLACK PHONE 2

3/5

Return Call

114 Mins. Starring: Mason Thames, Madeleine McGraw, Jeremy Davies, Demián Bichir & Ethan Hawke. Screenplay: Scott Derrickson & C. Robert Cargill. Director: Scott Derrickson. In: Theatres.

Pumpkins rotting on the porch isn't really a thing here in Japan. As soon as scary season is finished, the festive feeling of Christmas comes. And even those trees and decorations end up on a milk carton, come the literal Boxing Day, for a functional and practical place. Nevertheless, after scaring screens in the states, 'Black Phone 2' finally connects with audiences in the land of the rising sun. Halloween may be over, but this sinister sequel still haunts. The first rotary 'Black Phone', in a cubicle Colin Farrell is familiar with, became a cult hit in the COVID Krueger-d 2021. As 'Dead Poets Society', 'Reality Bites' and 'First Reformed' acting great Ethan Hawke, and his iconic mask (that can change facial expression), became one of the newest and most underrated horror villains. Scaring the beejeebus out of a young Mason Thames, Madeline McGraw, and their pop, nursing grief with drink, Jeremy Davis. 'The Black Phone', from 'The Exorcism Of Emily Rose' and 'Doctor Strange' director Scott Derrickson (with a screenplay with C. Robert Cargill ('Into The Dark')), dialled up the numbers. And now here we are in the wilderness of sequel territory.

But skating on thin, 'Little Women' ice, don't hang up, 'Black Phone 2' works, even though the last time we saw Ethan Hawke's Grabber, he was fish food. But hey, if you can hear dead people from the sixth sense of a landline, then stranger things can happen. This supernatural horror film sees Thames and McGraw's Finney and Gwen heading to a winter youth camp that looks like something straight out of the 'Dog Years' of an old Maggie Rogers video. And in this frozen tundra, they suddenly become in grabbing distance again. All whilst trying to investigate, not only what happened to three boys, but what also drove their own mother to death. After Derrickson, Cargill and Hawke gave us 'Sinister' (to those who read my review, I finally faced my fear and watched Jack White in concert, this year), they knew that grainy, camcorder like footage finds fear in theatres. And after this one, you'll never watch a home video again. Let alone pick up the phone. The tone is that terrifying.

Back to black, Mason Thames is on a career tear this year. What with his big-three as the lead in the live action version of 'How To Train Your Dragon', the award worthy 'Regretting You', and now as the face of this franchise in front of the mask. He really comes in to his own here, with a commanding performance, whether wailing on some guy, or refusing to run scared from 'The Purge' star who haunted his boyhood. The great Jeremy Davies (the once who frustratingly broke your heart in 'Saving Private Ryan', unrecognizable from that here) offers even more nuance as the alcohol addled father. Whilst sequel addition Demián Bichir ('The Hateful Eight', 'Alien: Covenant') adds even more grit and gravitas with a cabin beard almost as knotted and knitted as that cable knit sweater. But in this sequel, it's Madeleine McGraw (with some "choice" words) who's the real star of the show, coming out, like an exorcism. 'Ant-Man and the Wasp's' Hope, who looks like she could be the sister of Nancy in 'Stranger Things', is another star for sure. Even next to a great like Ethan, who is having his own year with the one for them, and one for him in the Oscar worthy 'Blue Moon'. But just wait until he calls you here. Nothing is phoned in from an actor who always connects. This receiver won't fade to black. It's back! Pick up. TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'Black Phone', 'Sinister', 'Blue Moon'.