REVIEW: JURASSIC PARK-FALLEN KINGDOM

3.5/5

Jeff Finds A Way.

128 Mins. Starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Justice Smith, Rafe Spall, Daniella Pineda, Geraldine Chaplin, James Cromwell, Toby Jones, Ted Levine, B.D. Wong & Jeff Goldblum. Director: J.A. Bayona.

Slap this on your plastic lunch boxes! Uhh...the one and only...Jeff Goldblum is back for the next phase of his...uhh 'Jurassic' era. Hahaha-rawrr-ahaha! And you thought being able to get a Pop Vinyl of his iconic, idolized, shirt-open, laid-back pose was good news. Alas though, like knocking on a security camera and fog breathing on it and wiping it to make sure it's on...now eventually they do plan to have some Dr. Ian Malcolm in their 'Jurassic Park' movie right? Hello? Because in bookmarking this latest adaptation of Michael Crichton's critical idea that Spielberg turned into pure, golden era, Hollywood cinema, the gold of Goldblum is only in this movie for a grand total of two, whole minutes. You've had coitus that has lasted longer than that...I sincerely hope. Now THAT is one big pile of s###! The tinted spectacle of the chaos maddening Malcolm is back, in a wiser and worn wearier doctor appearing in front of congress compellingly. And with the Dapper Don of his hair gone, replaced with a salt and pepper beard, the leather jacket is left back in a park he appears to never be going back to. So like when he appeared in the fly like regurgitation of 'Independence Day: Resurgence' (albeit though with some trademark classic lines like, "they like to get the landmarks" in reaction to the aliens clocking Big Ben), but not in the original 'Jurassic World' reboot, God giveth and God taketh away. Who would have thought that after having the Grandmaster and grand-standing fun of going off script in Taika Waititi's gloriously colourful Zeppelin, 'Thor-Ragnarok' sequel to end last year, Jeff would be reduced to a few notes here behind the microphone? Stuck mouthing off on Capitol Hill, in a courtroom for his entire cameo/seen it in the trailers screen-time, I guess life...uhh...sort of finds a way. It's great to have him back...but we wanted him BACK! Now we just can't wait to hear from the iconic, cult legends next move, shaking out a jazz album (you need to Youtube this dude backing up soul legend Gregory Porter on the ivory) like fellow offbeat oddball favourite and 'Isle Of Dogs' vocal co-star Bill Murray. Goldblum still plays his part here, line for line. But a man like this has to be allowed to improvise off-key. Ahh well. Who better to say it however (apart from SNL, Bill Hader's Al Pacino)? "Welcome to 'Jurassic World'"!

'Fallen Kingdom's' the sequel. And more than heads and pod racing Gyrosphere orbs will roll in a sequel to this franchise trilogy sequel that ups the ante with an eruption of action after three summers lying dormant. With a rumbling that will leave your popcorn popping stomachs asking, "what have they got in there? King Kong?", a volcano literally spits all it and this island has got out at you. Triceratops, Velociraptors and T-Rex's oh my! Even one of those Friar Tuck looking ones that literally bursts through a brick-wall like the Kool-Aid guy. OH YEAH! In a stampede of set-pieces that run through nostalgia and new ways of trying to make green screen look as good as those old, tried and tested amazing animatronics, there's enough emotional call-backs, reaching back to '93 like the tallest tree that will leave you out of tears aswell as breath. As a matter of fact in a dual magma hot scene of I can't feel my legs...or face hilarity (which my friend rightfully so said moved like a lude Leo in 'The Wolf Of Wall Street'...credit where credits due Tayla!), there's more Easter Eggs here than you could fit in an overturned jeep. As a matter of fact an opening, outstanding T-Rex helicopter ropey ladder chase, as thrilling as being stuck under a slumbering one is a "must go faster" call-back for the king of this jungle whose vision is based on movement. This kong of the dinosaurs even has a barking match with the lion ruler of our animal kingdom in a scene reminscent of the Jaws swallowing 'Jurassic "Sea" World' snap of the last film. The Mosasaurs is after surfers now herself...it's O.K. she's being doing a lot of swimming lately. There's even a night at the mansion museum terror that brings the haunted house and classic, straight out the kitchen, hide under your sheets, Spielberg scares back to this franchise by the sinister claw tap-tap. If you're old enough to be a child of the 'Jurassic' period in this millennial era reboot than you'll get the reference as a hybrid, bedroom color scheme sounding Indoraptor (enough with the sock-drawer, 'Weird Science' like cross-breeds already. We know nothing beats when raptors and a T-Rex ruled the earth...but not literally together), runs down a creepily cramped corridor that looks like it was wallpapered by the same concierge that designed the hotel in 'The Shining'. As 'A Monster Calls' director J.A. Bayona rain-soaked, rip-roaringly takes over from yesterday and tomorrows Trevorrow (more from producer Colin to conclude this trilogy that looks to be heading towards a 'Lost World') for some pure dumb as f### blockbuster fun. Like the legendary 'Jurassic World' moment of that man trying to save his two margaritas when those birds of prey came swooping down. Hold on to your butts!

Stilleto point fingers no more as the heels are off now for Bryce Dallas Howard. And bootstrapped ready, Howard is a solo force in herself to make her pops latest 'Star Wars' story see even more opposites of happy days, no matter how good the movie actually is. 'The Help' actress enlisting the help of on/off, 'will they won't they', partner in prehistoric conservation, Chris Pratt. Harrison Ford take note. Fresh off right face, wrong time kicking Thanos' butt in 'Avengers: Infinity War' (but understandably so in one of the Marvel mash-ups greatest, most climatic moments), this galaxy guardian is back as a park and raptors one. Playing the camo Indiana Jones (minus the Alan Grant stetson) to his Han Solo like Star-Lord across the universe. And he's on scorching, "the weathers hot, why not build a barn from the foundations up" form as Shaw in a summer that would be his if it wasn't for that Cable guy, whose nutsack chin he tried to shoot off, Josh Brolin. And of course what would a J.P. or J.W. film be without trying to babysit some Goonies? They're older than Lex and Tim. Or that 'Love Simon' fellow on his own big brother detail. But 'The Get Down's' Justice Smith and truly an 'Originals' Daniella Pineda scene steal like cans of unfound shaving cream. Meanwhile 'Life Of Pi' and 'Prometheus' actor Rafe Spall plays a stock villain looking to up the numbers and the amount of prehistorics he has in his wallet. Whilst old Hammond friend and legend of 'The Green Mile' and 'L.A Confidential', James Cromwell is determined to take a coughed up secret all the way to his characters grave. Assisted by Charlie's daughter Geraldine Chaplin who was so good in Philip K. Dick's 'Electric Dreams' series, there's more that haunts the halls of this house than the things that make the glass of water on your bedside table go bump in the night. And there's even more bad guys for your buck here too. Cha-ching! Hungry for Trump Tower dollars and follicle replacements, 'Captain America's' own German bad brain Toby Jones accents another performance and the door opening, shock horror, wind in the face roar reaction of your next gif (see: "When that member of the squad that never comes out rolls up!"). Whilst Buffalo Bill himself, Ted Levine trys to silence more than lambs with a dental obsessed charm link-collection that he always puts his neck out for. Here the legendary character actor plays like Bob Peck's pack hunter took a tour of acting duty with 'Apocalypse Now'. And what would a new 'Jurassic World' film be without 'Jurassic Park' star B.D. Wong, who is so good here like he was in Will Smith's 'Focus'? Well a lot more if we had more camera time from the one whose name is Jeff. But how much chaos do you want in a movie that throws everything at you, including the kitchen scene? Besides Jeff may find a way by this trilogy conclusion which will surely be better and more convincing than a Raptor that can say "Alan"! Then again with how close Pratt is communicating with his girl Blue, you never know. But as 'Jurassic World' is set to motorcycle ride off into the sunset like one man and a gang of girls with scales, 'Fallen' despite some boneheaded, J.R. ball dropping moments is still king of this 'World'. TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'Jurassic Park', 'Jurassic World', 'The Lost World'.