Little Pet Shop Of Horrors.
101 Mins. Starring: Jason Clarke, Amy Seimetz, Jété Laurence & John Lithgow. Directors: Kevin Kölsch & Dennis Widmyer.
If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise. But my furry friends this is no teddy bears picnic. Feed me King. Feed me Seymour. SHAZAM (wait...wrong movie)! And just like that and how the cold turned to a spring in our steps, just when the new season of 'Game Of Thrones' told you Winter was coming back, the calm after the Oscar season storm snapped (get it?) into the supercharged Summer season of blockbusters, months early. With the 'Unicorn Store' of the new Marvel Captain and the real hero all us big kids wish upon a Zoltar that we could turn into (and these two supes even share the same name like Martha, Carol). But if we're making an early start this year, how about some horror before you go to bed for this fall's Halloween? No I'm not talking about 'Us', even though the haunted house throne may now belong to Jordan Peele's new real world rules. I'm talking about the original King of horrors. Back with another Maine event, following 'IT' and before you turn the page to its next chapter. But word is the exalted and career redefined on screen exhumed writer isn't a fan of digging up this 'Pet Sematary' like running a spell-check on it. The man who wrote a book that turned into "all work and no play makes Jack (Nicholson) a dull boy" believes he took it too far with this pet shop. As this book down to the misspelling was practically a memoir of Stephen's life right up to the first shocking twist. So much so he'd probably rather put his Richard Bachman alias on its author credits. "Sometimes dead is better", but if other 80's movies are being brought back maybe a resurrect rewrite is a fair compromising sacrifice. But pet this one if you dare. The cats out the bag now! And they do say these animals have nine lives.
Cult science-fiction comedy classic 'Red Dwarf's' very own Dave Lister in one of the books (yep...that's how much of a neeeeeeeeerd I am), was once comforted after the death of his fictional father by the reassurance that he now has moved on to the same better place his beloved pet goldfish had. Which resulted in the young Lister putting his head down the toilet at night to speak to his dearly departed dad. A bit of crass comedy gold to offset the morbid. Because here's a fatalist question for you. If your favourite pet. Say your goldfish (our family ones were called Superted and Spotty...sniff (you not old enough to remember?) or budgie (Bertie. He used to eat the plans he wasn't supposed to. And upon moving his cage because of this, he still seemed to strangely move it back during the middle of the night. Probably pulling himself back via the one part of the plant he could beak back latch on to. "Gains" and losses) ended up moving on to the other side. I.E. being buried in the back of the garden. Would you hedge all your bets and do everything in your power (or the mystical power) to have them back again? Would you bring Kitty back, like Springsteen doing the wild, the innocent and the E Street shuffle? Quite simply, would you resurrect the dead? Testing the lengths of our love for our animal adopted family members, when it comes to our "there so fluffy I don't want them to die" pets on the surface it all seems too tame. Yeah right! Or an easier solution to going back to the pets store and spray painting your cats tail Mr. Jinx black. Meet those type of parents if you dare. Now that circle of trust is hella scary. It may as well be a pentagram. But it's at the very least far removed from the question we won't even pose. Which is bringing your loved ones back. Human trials and all those Frankenstein nuts and bolts. But this is what 'Sematary' and a novel even King deemed too noir dark idea to read asks of us. Like all great Stephen scribes do in helping us confront our deepest and darkest fears, whether literally under our bed, or in the heart of our own closets. And in the same month that Jordan Peele and 'Us', get out and show us that the haunting horror genres hallmarks are to really address the creepier notions and ask questions about our own demons, the originator of all this takes us back by the book, chapter and verse too. As this is one Sematary you can't just leave flowers and a few words of sentiment at. It's going to get down and dug up dirty with you. Ashes to ashes and all that dust. Just when you thought you could click the channel off of Thanos. Me? I'd bring back my dog...but maybe not my dawg. Just kidding. I'm white and almost middle aged. I don't call anyone 'dawg'. Even if I'm familiar with the pun, "who let the dogs out'? Even though it is wasted on the youth here for this 1989 reboot like the recent and this Summer 'It' chapter adaptations too.
B-movie brilliance with bread and butter jump scares being brought back like the classic Ramones theme. Hey Ho, let's go! Looks like one thing you seemingly can't kill right now is 'Winchester' actor Jason Clarke's career. The great 'Mudbound' Australian actor is in every other film you watch. Just like fellow Aussie Rose Bryne a decade back. Only this year he's began with the 'Aftermath' of a Keira Knightly war affair and the 'Serenity' of a Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway murderous one. And here he plays there fond father who will do anything to keep his family alive...and I do mean anything. As his daughter played by young, singer of the moment Maggie Rogers lookalike Jété Laurence is in need of an Exorcism. That's just how scary this child star of the future is getting her 'Orphan' on. Scratching and clawing at you like the Church cat on your dry wall whose going to purr at you your last rights. Creepier than the stray crawlies that make you really feel that there is something that goes bump in the night with these pet sounds, this really gives new meaning to the idea that cats are pricks. Mogs like this and all the other last straws are the type to make most mom's pack up the kids they have left and leave. But AMC's 'The Killing' and HBO's 'Family Tree' small to big screen actress Amy Seimetz is not most mom's. Even with the trademark old man in the woods foreshadowing from former son of '3rd Rock' and veteran Hollywood big picture, scene stealer John Lithgow (clearly and beard-ly the best thing about this slanted family picture, cabin in the country chewing scenery, subtley but perfectly), as foggy as the atmospheric throwback timeless direction from Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer who like the opposite of most are thinking "prequel"? Armed with what looks like the kids from 'Sinister' were given free reign and their choice of 'The Wicker Man' costume department. There's enough source material in a big screen 'Dark Tower' to smartphone small Netflix 'Gerald's Game' time to work with here. All for a dynamic directing duo who aren't afraid to flip the narrative of even one of the most acclaimed authors of the great American horror book, whose word is Hollywood haunted house, tower of terror gospel. But here harrowed by the hallowed ground of the past and teaching an old smelly cat (what are they feeding you?) new tricks. Sometimes reread is better. TIM DAVID HARVEY.
Further Filming: 'Pet Sematary (1989)', 'IT (2017)', 'Us'.
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