Hoops Nightmares.
10 Episodes. Starring: Jake Johnson, Ron Funches, Cleo King, Natasha Leggero, A.D. Miles & Rob Riggle. Created By: Ben Hoffman.
Boosting college kids with duffel bags full of cash or down payments on new cars, there's always been some corruption whipped up off court to get hoopers playing for the right team on the floor...and don't even get us started on the right academics. But in Netflix's new animated bball comedy in the style of 'American Dad' this big mouth, Basketball guy uses his high school team of misfits and cheese slid off the cracker dropouts to whip around and raise money to pay for a prostitute. Just so they can lure an emo looking seven footer who has about as much interest in hoops as Darko Milcic to sign up. Yep, that's about the size of 'Hoops' starring the gruffed up voice of 'New Girl', 'Into The Spider-Verse' (with Phil Lord and Christopher Miller on executive producing duty), 'Jurassic World' geek AND what they f### was he doing in 'The Mummy' star Jake Johnson. And that's just the opening tip, coaching a roster of vocal talent in Ron Funches (the 'Mulaney and Kroll' show star as this one's most likable character, Ron), Cleo King (outstanding as Opal), Natasha Leggero (reuniting with Johnson after they said, 'Let's Be Cops') and Jimmy Fallon writer A.D. Miles, bigger than Davis. How about how he tries to get even with his Dad (a hilarious Larry Bird meets Gene Hackman's Hoosier coach in 'The Daily Show's' Rob Riggle) like Culkin and Danson after his basketball legend pedigree pops still hangs out with his ex-wife and will bank roll the team, so long as he can plaster his gold necklace wearing mug all over the hardwood. Which leads to a hilarious dad hating, 'Waterboy' picturing playbook game plan that wants to win the game because there's more at "steak" than free tacos for everyone. "And it's not even Tuesday", Johnson's Coach Hopkins says. Yep, this show knows where it's at like animatedly hiding in Easter Egg references to the numbers 24 and 2 from cell phones to clocks for Kobe and GiGi. And how about its genius positioning as Netflix slide the naked, bar a ball coach, preview picture right next to the 'Lucifer' pose in the same suit? Well played 'flix. Put me in coach.
Ethics are out the window in a series of events that make offers even 'The Godfather' would refuse with the horses ass of a mascot head. But hey, they'll do anything to pass...an-y-thang. Just ask the Mr. Feeny looking teacher as these boys meet the world of a coach who is about as motivating as wearing pants after you've worked from home for the last few quarantined months, shirt tie and boxers looking like Ron Burgundy behind his 'Anchorman' scotch soaked desk. The only thing fouler than Hopkins is the lengths he will go to make sure his star player...sorry I mean his tall player isn't distracted by anything...not even a girlfriend. Cue the 'Family Guy' Stewie like rendition of Bryan Adams' 'Everything I Do'. What the hell is this ("SHUT UP!"). Now save this last dance on your list in a year for hoops entertainment from Disney World Bubbles to Ben Affleck going 'The Way Back'. And how about the moment of Phil Jackson like Zen for Hopkins? Swallowing frog piss and going on 'Simpsons' spicy like 'Yellow Submarine' acid trips, before making an anger stand for his bullied players who just got hit like 'West Side Story' for not being "gay enough". Click those fingers. All the way to running a strike like a white picket fence here in Hopkins' home of Kentucky and an Everley Brothers credit because a new rival is in town. Looking like the Lakers and Celtics' Magic and Bird, if Larry and Earv made 'Jackass' like bets with each other. Then there's a Frank Grimes episode that gives actual grief to a grief counsellor in the form of some, 'All The Right Moves', 'Semi-Pro', 'Da 5 Bloods', 'Coyote Ugly' and 'Sully' like flashback stories....just watch were you order your Uber Eats too. And whilst we're at it Hopkins, what's coaches obsession with 'Little Man Tate'? In fact...don't tell us.
Or how about a 'Road Game' for this crew that leaves them partying like 'Coach Carter' with cheerleaders and more foam bubbles than you could scratch your eyes at like championship champagne for a team that's got more chance scoring than it does winning. All whilst Coach is about to live his dream at a crowning award ceremony with some "Knight". Dressed up in a literal Colonel Sanders suit, straight out of Kentucky for this chicken. All until he gets out of bounds on the highway for something we all saw coming like a no look pass from Magic. The only thing we pass on here is the tasteless jokes about INXS' Michael Hutchence and Jordan. There are some baselines you shouldn't cross. They will be lucky if the GOAT doesn't bust their a## and give 'em 60. But this gross out show will probably react with an M.J. shrug like the biggest player on this team...and believe me, that's saying a lot. As scouting the last episode that hits the road like Jack, or someone fouling out of STAPLES to Ray Charles, this final buzzer and last dance into the sunset is going to need a few more steps to prevent it from travelling. Travelling any further than this postseason. Sure its funny, but too many foul shots like the actual most hilarious moment of this series, winding down the basket like this coach needs to wind his neck in (even though it looks like he doesn't have one) could leave this one on the charity stripe if it's hoping for another season like the NBA. Otherwise it might have to go fish in Florida with all the other losers for an early retirement as their bubble bursts. This show is never "BOOOORING" like its coaches classic catchphrase. But they'll be shouting something else as setting it in Kentucky (by country comedian creator Ben Hoffman) and having one almost South Park esque "token" player was always going to cause problems like trying to tell them down there that that red cap doesn't go quite so well with that UK Wildcat blue jersey. Maybe this one should keep its jacket in the rafters, because it seems to have forgotten its keys, or spent too long in that area. 'Hoops' is no airball, but without better form next season it may just rim out when we want it to score. The right way. TIM DAVID HARVEY.
Further Filming: 'Family Guy', 'Big Mouth', 'The Last Dance'.
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