By TIM DAVID HARVEY
(For the latest scene of #FilmsForFridays' feature, #SceneStealing-were we breakdown the best scenes in films in more detail-we ask, "where art thou Leonardo" as we go for a pit stop with the gassed up opening shootout to Baz Luhrmann's 1996 classic modern take on William Shakespeare's 'Romeo + Juliet'. WARNING: Specific scene spoilers follow.)
"Peace...Peace? I hate the word. As I hate hell. All Montague's (*stubs out cigarette with steel heel*) and thee. BANG!"
Bite your thumbs at this. 'Get Down' with amazing Australian ruling director Baz Luhrmann and you may find a Netflix series or two amongst his recent work. That also included an inspired Chanel No. 5 commercial directed with beautiful Brazilian model Gisele Bundchen to the scoring soundtrack of singer songwriter Lo-Fang (his brilliant 'Blue Film' follow up 'Near Other Worlds' came out near the start of this month and moves in a whole new, epic, ethereal direction) giving multiplying, new chills to his electrifying version of 'You're The One That I Want' from 'Grease'. But we all know Baz's big-three is the gaudy art-deco remake of 'The Great Gatsby' starring Carey Mulligan and old sport, Leonardo DiCaprio, the movie musical before all 'The Greatest Showmen' and 'Cats' out of 'La La Land' in the 'Moulin Rogue' of a beautiful burlesque and of course his ode to Shakespeare in his globe reaching modern remake of THE classic love story, 'Romeo + Juliet' starring Claire Danes and again as Michael Jordan puts it, the star of 'The Man With The Iron Face', Leo. And who could forget his native 'Australia' starring Down Under's own Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman? But if that wasn't enough the man who told you to "always wear sunscreen" (seems apt this year as no one is staying their a## at home) is working on an 'Elvis' film with Tom Hanks...well the 'Hologram For A King' star isn't playing the King thank you very much, but still. Still it's all about the two star crossed lovers when it comes to Baz's magnum opus and DiCaprio and Danes nail every line like their lives depended on it or Professor X and Picard himself, Sir Patrick Stewart reading a Shakespeare sonnet to us on Twitter everyday of this qurantining. Locking it down and making it so. But between all the scene stealing, from 'The Matrix: Reloaded' star Harold ("make it a word...and a blow") Perrineau as a moving Mercutio ("a plague on both your houses") after young hearts ran free (Ba, Ba, BAAA!) in drag my queen's, to the one and only 'To Wong Foo. Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar' star John Leguizamo, nothing is as showstopping (apart from how astronaut Paul Rudd never ages. He must have been lost in space and then doppelganger 'Astronauts Wife' replaced like 'Living With Yourself') as the opening pit stop scene in a gas station that exploded this play onto the big screen like petroleum.
Phoenix petrol station and flames are about to rise like Harry Potter ordered six McChicken nuggets. A Lakers yellow truck as big and bulky as a JCB pulls up to the pump like its about to lift the whole station above its head. The Verona Beach plates rocking, reading, 'MON 005' have nothing to do with not liking the first day of the week. A bunch of bleached and dyed boys in shirts you'd only find on Magnum P.I. or 'Stranger Things' chief of police Hopper's closet jump out. No tache, not even a hair on their open shirt chests. Boys...playing like men. Lead by the strongest of them all, 'Ray Donovan' star Dash Mihok and somone who looks a lot like Jamie Kennedy. "The quarrel is between our masters." "And us they're men," they frat scream at each other, as close as the 'Top Gun' dog-tags swinging like dick, the only thing they wear on their chests. Another car pulls up, purring like a tiger or Mustang. It's all American denim blue, except this beach plate reads "CAP" where the "MON" should be...and it's got nothing to do with the stars and stripes of Steve Rogers my captain. A steel cap heel steps out like it's about to light the concrete like flint. The kind of heel I should heed on the back of my feet dragging down to the socks shoes. It stamps out the cigarette this Montague has just disregarded like Bruce Willis vests and here is were before the 'Killing Eve' and everything else trend we are introduced in bold font to, "The CAPULET boys." The coolest looking cats you did ever see. Walking into the station like the spurs of a saloon, Sergio Leone like whistling music playing as all the lovestruck girls giggle. "Humble, bubble toil and trouble" one in leather says, stalk swaggering after a sister (a literal sister act...this nuns on the run now). "A pretty piece of flesh I am" the Montague's reply in kind to the religious, over a famous rock track. One humping the back of the truck like a downward dog as Jamie Kennedy experiments with licking his own nipple. Screaming. Eye glasses gestures. A car speeds away and then Abra-cadabra like Stephen King's 'Doctor Sleep' this Montague comes face to face with the yellow sunglasses house of Capulet (a captivating Vincent Laresca). Quarrel.
Shirts are open, but swords aren't drawn. Because these knives carry six. A pink Rodman haired Kennedy looks at his Montague brothers exposed sidearm. Beautiful artwork on this brutal handle reads Montague. They're scared. Abra simply opens his leather jacket as casual as if he was about to give it to a maitre d' at a restaurant. But it's someone else who's about to be served. His handle reading, "Capulet" on its coat of arms, religious crest...and we ain't talking 'bout Twitter. He hisses. His metal grill reads, "SIN". The Montague's recoil into their backseat like a snake has just struck. "BOO!" Says the Capulet like a goose. Laughing and joking with his brother at how he just got 'em good as they get back in their ride. The Montague boys looks more than embarrassed and then Jamie makes balls good on his dare to bite his thumb at thee and it's all a case of Shakespeare in the park like Thor and Loki with avengance. But no ones wearing mothers drapes. The Cap car spins round in anger with all the horses saddled and drawn. The fear goes back into this kids crazy heart. He pretends to pump gas. Wait a minute...he actually needs gas. Forget about it. No time. He goes to jump into his car. But overshoots it. Just comedy legs hanging out of a barrel. The cucumber cool even when hot wing enraged Capulets spin into smoke and get out their vehicle like a music video, storming up. The grill of this stallion simply reading, "Executioner." "Do you bite your thumb at us sir." Erm! "DO YOU BITE YOUR THUMB AT USSSSS...sir!?" Quarreling, thumb biting intention and whose better is shouted back and forth in this pissing contest as accusations are thrown around like lies, until their kinsman comes forth like Colin Firth, cocking the hammer and swinging his sword. Drawing a beat on anyone in the sight of his line of fire and telling these fools they "know what they do", as Benvolio Montague gives us a lock stock view of his "Sword 9MM Series S" before barrels start smoking like Guy Ritchie gentlemen. Think he's in control like a loaded Jamie Kennedy when the woman in the car he hides behind hits him one too many times with her purse? Then just you wait whose that stepping out of the station like a saloon. It's time to "add more fuel to your fire" like the saloon door swinging Phoenix Gas sign on the nose reads in harsh, jarring metal as a rocket sounding cigarette is lit like a phoenix and steel caps put out the ash because open flames work as well in a place like this as your plastic. "Heartless hinds," Pretenders like Chrssie. Tybalt sneers with more than brass in his pocket. Tut-tut-tutting and opening another jacket so slickly, like he was cooling himself off. Revealing two Capulet coated arms this time, bordering a bulletproof vest with Christ the redeemer upon it. "Look upon thy death".
Peace? Sneers. Contempt. Quarrel. Now this gas station scene has got even tenser than the sweet wrapper unfolding one in 'No Country For Old Men' were the cattle prodding bowl cut of Javier Bardem asked that kindly shopkeeper what's the most he's ever lost in a coin toss. Call it! Swords are put up (and when these guns are drawn they clever creatively actually sound like swords) as a scene stealing and owning John Leguizamo gets his 'John Wick' on like the Keanu chapters he co-starred in for some better bullet time than 'The Matrix'. Unholstering his first dagger and spinning round to a scared kid dropping his toy ray gun like he's about to his lunch as his mother screams. The face of death looking back at her boy standing in a vogue struck pose straight outta renaissance painting. Cigar hanging out his mouth like a Puff Daddy cocktail stick. Take that, take that, take that. Close. "BANG!" Reholstering one piece before drawing another that takes the peace right out of the lead Montague's hand. Tybalt executes a spin move that changes hands like Jordan against the Lakers..."executes", being the apt word here as forget a last dance he reads last rites with the Lord watching. He spins and pirouettes some more in this bullet with butterfly wings ballet. Raising his arms like cranes and spraying like cane. No one knows what to do. Except the lady in the car who resumes handbag clapping. Jamie Kennedy has had enough like in the 'Scream' sequel. He wails the same. Ducking using cover and letting feathers fly everywhere. Yet the only thing the man with the golden gun hits our oil cans and spinning signs like targets at a carnival. Meanwhile Tybalt dodges like Neo in slow motion. Falling to the floor and if you've read John Leguizamo's legendary foreword in Shea Serrano's sensational 'Movies...And Other Things' book you'll know he's looking for the mattress safe spot to land behind a cab straight out of Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx's 'Collateral' damage. John had had enough of bruises on his feet after night after night of spinning glocks around the clock in hotel rooms for practice. But it's all worth it as Leguizamo in a legendary moment that is his legacy stops, drops, rolls, plays with his gun like its a yo-yo, switches sidearms again, throws one in the air and catches it with the confidence of a club singer flipping his microphone. Hand over heart drawing another pose as cars bail and oil spills all over a deck hit Benvolio like he's about to be the next Harvey Dent before the Two Face of a 'Dark Knight'. In all this car carnage and 'Deepwater Horizon', Leguizamo strips off his suit jacket revealing Jesus, falls to his knees like begging please, rolls up his jacket and throws it to the side like he's getting ready for tomorrow's laundry. Flashes his other guns under his snakeskin straps. Loads his pistol whilst a woman behind him in the back of the cab hammers the window in scared protest. Kisses the Virgin Mary in his handle with passion for good luck and rises up, slowly like a sniper. Spots the yellow eyesore making plans like a getaway truck and shows their plans he's 2020. As with a Montague in the rearview visions of his shooting sight, this Capulet captures him dead. Dropping his stogie stub on the oil below. BANG!
Two tribes going to war from two households, both alike in dignity. And then as the opera plays like the phantom, we all know what happens next in fair Verona, where we lay our scene.
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