REVIEW: GODZILLA vs. KONG

 

3.5/5

Clash Of The Titans.

113 Mins. Starring: Alexander Skarsgård, Millie Bobby Brown, Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry, Kaylee Hottle, Shun Oguri, Eiza González, Julian Dennison, Lance Reddick, Kyle Chandler, Demián Bichir, Godzilla & King Kong. Director: Adam Wingard. 

Let's get ready to rumble...finally! They're here. The two biggest Hollywood stars of all-time. The GOATS, but a whole other animal. Two action heroes who have been going at each other for decades. No, we're not taking about 'Rambo' Sly Stallone and 'The Terminator' of Arnie Schwarzenegger. We're talking about two icons and legends that are far from expendable. The kaiju and the ape. 'Godzilla vs. Kong'. Let's get it on (DMX voice)...again! Tokyo, 2020. That was supposed to be the year. This writer coming all this way to the Far East just to watch the Olympic Games (yeah...I know). Were from tennis ace Naomi Osaka, to the future of Japanese basketball in Washington Wizard, Rui Hachimira, the pair would wave the flag for their country and people. Changing the game and race relations (Stop ALL Asian Hate!) for mixed heritage individuals in the land of the rising sun. This year was meant to mean so much more. Going for gold even Godzilla and King Kong were set to battle each other for the podium of the throne in this Olympic year. But then the ultimate competitor came with the K.O. to these fighters...coronavirus. Everything locked down was put on hold as we masked up and quarantined like these monsters putting up their dukes at a skyscrapers length of social distance. But now this main event is back, even if the two biggest actors around do belong on the big-screen like a 'Tenet' or 'Dune'. Stay safe and stay home, but for the love of God (and the King), don't watch this s### on your phone. Now who've you got in this ultimate battle royale, pay-per-view throwdown, taking it to the max like HBO? Although here in Tokyo, I'd love to see it in the Shinjuku cinema that an actual Godzilla famously cranes his head from. I've got Godzilla shoving the Empire State Building up that gorilla's ass before he goes ape s###? Get it?! Blowing at the King with neon breath like he used an electric toothbrush, Kong hasn't taken fire like this since those biplanes, throwing his own jets here as a fighter. And as for the God, aside from the three headed Ghidorah, this lizard hasn't come up against much aside from Jamiroquai and Puff Daddy...and let's not forget Charles Barley. Now come with me as we go deeper underground to see who really is the king of monsters in this ultimate mash. 

Here comes the boom. In the land of God's and monsters this cinematic showdown is something you can take home now for your box office. Maximum returns may have happened in theatre, but this will still send chills down your electric blue spine. Beating his chest with pride, the King is still alive. Long live as he roars from his skull island surrounded by the bones of his battles, sitting in his garden like Thanos, rising like the sun or a grateful universe. Speaking of a grateful universe how about all the humans that serve as ants here ready to be taken out in a moments snap or stomp? Well let's just say (or is it ask?) what ever happened to that Avenger like team of Loki's Tom Hiddleston and 'Captain Marvel' Brie Larson that post-credits teased this whole thing? We know Samuel L. Jackson got squashed before he could finish his "motherf..." line, but still. There's a milk carton out for them like there is the Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch of 'zilla's Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen. Although seeing these super sibling play married house like a sitcom created world was almost as weird as Evan Peters' 'X-Men' Quicksilver being in 'WandaVision' and then not even being Pietro at all in the end...here's hoping there's more to the most cheekiest Easter Egg ever. Who's really missing however is 'Shape Of (Atomic Bomb ("not tests")) Water' Sally Hawkins and Japanese legend Ken Watanabe. Who else is going to introduce Godzilla so iconically? Forget letting them fight...let them play. The 'True Blood' of 'The Legend Of Tarzan' actor Alexander Skarsgård gets top-billing her on his Hollywood heavyweight leading man bid. But it's 'Stranger Things' cult icon Millie Bobby Brown who is the star here. Making this franchise her own after the films loss of mothering Vera Farmiga like she has the Sherlock spin-off 'Enola Holmes' on Netflix. Now with her military grade father (an always reliable veteran for these 'Friday Night Lights') Kyle Chandler giving us an encore of his 'Midnight Sky' 'Sweet Caroline' with a reunited Demián Bichir, she also forms her own group of friends that don't lie with 'Deadpool', 'Wilderpeople' Julian Dennison (fresh off his elfing in Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn's 'The Christmas Chronicles 2') and 'Atlanta's' Brian Tyree Henry's (who from 'Widows' to 'If Beale Street Could Talk' has really been making his name in the movies) paranoid (with just, Cranston cause) podcaster. It's Rebecca Hall and the sign language of her deaf daughter Kaylee Hottle that's the really symbolic soul of this monster verse. Japanese 'Fullmetal Alchemist' voice actor Shun Oguri embodying the ultimate character, 'Baby Driver' and 'Hobbs and Shaw' actor Eiza González jibing with this king like Ali and that voice of 'John Wick's' Lance Reddick (so nice to see you again...and so soon) feeding us build-up exposition with his trademark delivery round out the cast that introduce us to a move where we wait for the set-pieces like we did as kids with 90's golden era blockbusters like 'Independence Day' and...erm 1998's 'Godzilla'. Movies that as kids in their first hour felt like lifetimes to get to, but were well worth it in the end. How we miss those times we took for granted in theatres. How we hope this is not coronavirus curtains for cinema. 'You're Next' and 'The Guest' horror director Adam Wingard wowing even a lack of audiences at home is anything but winging it. Next for Adam is a 'Thundercats' (HO! You can never resist) film (please see that Brad Pitt ('Troy'), Hugh Jackman ('X-Men's' Wolverine), Vin Diesel ('Pitch Black's' Riddick) and Garfield YouTube fan-made trailer for your blueprint) and a 'Face/Off' reboot (please make our Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman dreams come true). The future of cinema may be uncertain, but it's certainly his. Starting with these two titan movie monoliths. 

Honk Kong's sublime skyline 'The Dark Knight' once swooped past and its Rock 'Skyscrapers' serves as neutral ground and the stage set for the final showdown between the King of New York and one big in Japan. Not to mention a completely different beast in the name of fan service that we simply would be stupid to spoil. But it's not Barbara Streisand...or Dave Chappelle. There's even a mouth stuffing Easter Egg reference to the 'Eat Your Vegetables' GIF made moment from the roots of the 1962 'King Kong vs Godzilla' movie that this one harks back to even in hallmark homaging typography. All for the business of a monkey who even has his own stormbreaking, neon hammer of Thor to wield. A saber in the face of a major laser. Just like any of these movies though, even with all this fighting, the real monsters are the humans that don't understand like Fresh Prince parents. Whilst their kids try to show them the sign. Spraying bullets at these two like spitting super soakers as they play battleship on some warships, there's little we can do except stand by and watch. But what a CGI spectacle bathed in the neon lights of HK (how about the electron blue of Godzilla surrounded by a lagoon of electricity for your illuminated One Perfect Shot?) as these two lumbering goliaths knock down more skyscrapers than lumberjacks do trees for wood on a 'Man Of Steel' office worker kill count for your frosted glass traps (somewhere Ben Affleck's Bruce Wayne is looking up with anticipated vengeance). This chaos and carnage is on a 'Transformers' level but is still epic entertainment. If 2014's 'Godzilla' reboot was a moving metaphor for the atomic bomb and nuclear war (with actually amazing acting from Bryan Cranston bringing it and a feel of a monster horror movie) and 2017's 'Kong: Skull Island' a planet of the ape, 'Apocalypse Now' with a VietKong, man vs nature look at how humans destroy ecosystems, 2019's 'Godzilla: King Of Monsters' was more like 'Pacific Rim' for the kaiju. Now two years later after the 'King Of The Monsters' was meant to serve as an epic entrée to the tussle with the real king for the crown, this one feels like 'Pacific Rim: Uprising'...all the way to the rapped up trailer. No bad thing, but just nowhere near as undeniable as what came before. Even if this is the hit of the pandemic, swiping back at COVID-19 and 2020. Japan have always done their own monster prouder however. From the classic 'Shin Godzilla' to the latest 'Singular Point' anime that has just dropped like the Pacific off his scales. Monster movies mean more than cinematic, blockbuster popcorn in metaphor, but even without the biggest screen these IMAX inspiring two towers belong on like their birthright, after all these years and additional push backs and hold ups, it just feels like somethings missing. Something were we could really hear them roar. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Godzilla', 'Kong: Skull Island', 'Godzilla: King Of Monsters.'