REVIEW: THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD

 

3/5

To Have And To Holster.

100 Mins. Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Salma Hayek, Frank Grillo, Tom Hopper, Richard E. Grant, Antonio Banderas & Morgan Freeman. Director: Patrick Hughes. 

Coventry...COVENTRY! Of all the places to have a Hollywood shootout in like the Wild West. The most random of U.K. cities. Lovely place, but was London busy (not for the epic opening of this film)? Never would you have thought you'd see Deadpool and Nick Fury, AKA Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson-two of the worlds biggest movie stars and recognisable faces-trade bullets, clips and quips between a WH Smith newsagents and a Greggs, but that just how the sausage rolled. 'The Hitman's Bodyguard' was such a hit like, "and I-I-I-I-I-I" that we had to order a sequel and get engaged with a franchise. Especially after Salma Hayek's classic cameo, as epic as it was explicit. Now freed from prison and quarantine, let's get in holy matrimony with movie multiplexes again, getting down on one knee for the 'Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard', 'till death does all the bad guys part. Arm, leg, bullet to the head. Yours might ache after the incredible introduction to Hayek's now hallmark Hitman's wife character as she declares Ryan Reynolds honeymoon by the pool with himself over...not going quietly into the night. She'll needs some lozenges like you headache tablets after this one, as fingers in ears you don't know what's whipping past yours, shots or hers. Critics might have taken their own at this sequel as they look for a slump like sophomores. Trying to wack this thing and call it such from their commercial scopes from afar. But that hasn't stopped the 'Hitman's Bodyguard's Wife' from making a killing...motherf#####s! 

Triple AAA like your day, the set-up is this, Ryan Reynolds needs to bodyguard hitman Sam Jackson again, but this time it's Salma Hayek's wife and her own Hitwoman (or is that hitperson? Reynolds asks) herself that calls in the favour. Sure you could write the plot of this on the back of a bodyguards bloody splattered business card, but that's the hollow point. Lights and camera this is all about the action Jackson. Dumb fun that leaves your brain at home, but don't you dare pick up the phone. Because you don't want to Aerosmith a thing when it comes to the crazy, 'Janie's Got A Gun' action that is anything but phoned in, even if the storyline looks to go '6 Underground' like Reynolds playing career Russian roulette with Michael Bay grenades on Netflix. Sure 'Daredevil' and the 'Defenders' electric Elektra, Elodie Yung and Oscar winner Gary Oldman may be missing in this darkest hour, but this silly but satisfying sequel has an All-Star cast like voting for ballplayers in February. You've got to love it like Valentines day. These kisses from a rose feel like a 'Red 2' for your scarlet letter. And if you though the reunion of the new 'Rush Hour' or 'Bad Boys' buddy (not) cops of Reynolds and Jackson for another '48 Hrs.' was something to love, then how about a 'Desperado' one to give you fever mi corazon? 

'Expendables 3' and 'Signs' (no, not that one), Aussie director Patrick Hughes rules these hitmen and bodyguards once again for the sequel before he's set to make Kevin Hart on the 'Fatherhood' father-time return of his career, 'The Man In Toronto'. Cameoing on this ride along tending bar like he did as an Interpol agent last time out. But its who he brings back with him that really makes a mark. Antonio Banderas gave the surprisingly sweet and sincere (it has its moments, between all the madness in nostalgia trust) 'Expendables' franchise last part its heart with the hurt of his bruised soul. Here he takes over villain duties from the fellow, Liberace would be jealous, glittery suit jacket of his Netflix 'Laundromat' co-star Oldman and it's a wash. Underused, but undeniable. There's so many A-list actors and familiar faces here that, clocked at just over an hour and a half of runtime, not everyone's going to get their shot. Even 'Red's' own Morgan Freeman is here in a hilarious role we can't spoil. Rivalling co-star Samuel L. Jackson for the bragging rights of being in every other movie you see these days. It's great to see these forever evergreen legends on screen together like the fact that Jackson just played Chris Rock's dad in 'Spiral: From The Book Of Saw'. 'Umbrella Academy' hero in henchman mode Tom Hopper and the Crossbones of Marvel and action movie fodder Frank Grillo get their licks in too, even outshining their Walk of Fame counterparts. But it's another random, blink and you'll miss it, classic cameo from a coked up Richard E. Grant that is even more crazy and legendary than his 'Loki' one last week in post-credits. Still, nothing is beating the dynamic duo that has now became a big-three in Reynolds, Jackson and Hayek with compelling chemistry in this crude comedy that slaps sticks and pistol whips. The deadpan meets the motherf##### with more shouting makes this wife more than the cockney rhyming slang of trouble and strife. No matter if critics are trying to give it the ball and chain. Mace Windu has an actual mace. Can't guard your body from that. But we'll protect this one. This sequel is still a hit, man. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'The Hitman's Bodguard', 'The Long Kiss Goodnight', 'Free Guy'.