REVIEW: VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS

3/5

2017: A Space Oddity.

137 Mins. Starring: Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, Clive Owen, Ethan Hawke, Herbie Hancock & Rihanna. Director: Luc Besson.

Apex predator Dane DeHaan and Enchantress model Cara Delevingne partner up and take dual Alpha flight in 'The Fifth Element', French fantasy film director Luc Besson's 'Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets'...a nightmare for those old school cinema employees hanging those red letters up outside the multiplex. But take it all in, as this film that takes your breath away in more ways than one is an Image MAXimum's dream in three dimensions of the highest definition. Like 'Guardians Of The Galaxy' turned up to the highest volume, this Solar System is as vibrant as any universe anyone from 'Stars' that war or trek has ever thought up of. Like 'Jupiters' ascension, this 'City Of A Thousand Planets' visually is one in a million on an interstellar level. You haven't wanted to don those Roy Orbison glasses this much since 'Avatar' gave you more colour than the Blue Man Group on the Las Vegas strip. But alas is all this Sci-Fi style covering up an abuse of substance? The vivid visuals may leave you saying "Wow" more times than Owen Wilson in a 'Star Wars' supercut Youtube video where his signature catchphrase is used in place of the lightsaber sounds. Yet still this sweet story is a more saccharine product than the meaty subplots of it's real world implicating, metaphorical predecessors that would make the pages of Phillip K. Dicks future fables proud. Scene stunningly speaking, just like the pepper sprayed reviews for this years fellow formidable, futuristic flop based on cult property, 'Ghost In The Shell', you should take all the hate with a pinch of salt. Because this movie doesn't just look good too. It is good too. What more could you expect from the best of Besson who gave Scarlett Johannson 'Limitless', 'Lost In Translation' Tokyo like neon 'Ghost In The Shell' lights for 'Lucy'? To go along with his 'La Femme Nikita' and 'The Fifth Element' culture changing, cinematic classics 20 years ago. And of course 'The Professional'...or as it is know in these parts Jean Reno's 'Leon'. Luc has been doing the blockbuster bewildering impossible ever since he dropped a young, flame haired Milla Jovovich on top of a blonde Bruce Willis' floating cab two decades back. I mean this is a man who even made Chris Tucker even louder than he already is. Only the French. Seulement le Français.

Chronicling young Dane DeHaan's life and career has seen him do the impossible like fly and hit red cup beer pong after red cup beer pong like a high-school Steph Curry. Not to mention steal the show off both Hollywood heartthrob leading men Ryan Gosling AND Bradley Cooper (and this years 'Best Supporting Actor', Academy Award, Oscar winner Marhershala Ali) in his breakout indie hit 'The Place Beyond The Pines'. He's played both superhero and supervillain. Before Sony were aligning with Marvel to replace Andrew Garfield with Tom Holland for Spider-Man's 'Homecoming', he was Peter Parker's frenemy nemesis Harry Osborne as a ghastly Green Goblin so good, Sony were willing to let him lead his own villain film in the form of the 'Sinister Six' way before Venom or even the 'Suicide Squad' of D.C.'s bad romance marriage of Harley Quinn and Jared Leto's Joker. It's safe to say this kidult is no laughing manner though. As the man who once was the 'In Treatment' representation of a social commentary conflicted youth in angst is now a full grown father with a son of his own called Bowie. Named of course we're sure after the late, glam rock God whose "Ground Control to Major Tom", 'Space Oddity' opens this 2017 odyssey's space race and exploration time lapse from NASA to what in this film is classed as a handshake to now. And Ziggy Stardust would be proud of this city of a thousand planets and universe of seemingly a million worlds of awesome Jabba the Hutt and duck-billed platypuss looking alien lifeforms. Even if their craft looks a lot like a clam merged with the Millennium Falcon. As the kid who has even played James Dean is a rebel with a cause here that's more Chris Pratt in 'Passengers' than a Han Solo like galaxy guardian. The great Dane is having quite the year with this and 'A Cure For Wellness'. Surely the antidote for a 2016 without a 'Sinister Six'. Still much like Gore Verbinski's 'Shutter Island' like retreat for the physically impaired, this other outstanding opaque picture is layered more in looks than it is subtext. Yet DeHaan's charm again like the 'Cure' powers through and this film does well for it. Especially because all that cocksure charisma is hiding a conflicted shyness that's anxious to get out. Meaning the actor that's been in everything from 'Lincoln' to 'Lawless' will always give us a deeper character than the pages and lines of dialogue his scripts weigh. Even if it is clear here that the magazine opening Prada model needs even more help to make even this detailed dynamic of an otherworldly dimension look the part.

Enter Laureline. Or the model that's in every magazine and perfume and fashion company's rolodex, Cara Delevingne. If you don't know that name by now then you must have been living under a rock with a Monk. And don't let us get started on the name Kardashian. But Cara can do more than most models who are the product of every paparazi camera flashbulb. Delevingne is a dynamo talent that can act...and sing too. You all saw how she could in 'Paper Towns' and she even went crazy as the villain of villains in last years 'Suicide Squad' ensemble...even if she did look like a life-sized voodoo doll before she became what looked like an ancient Egyptian queen, slash psycho mermaid hybrid (yep that's done it...we're cursed now). Here she's got the moxie charm and combustible chemistry to match DeHaan quip for scruffy nerf-herder romantic proposal knock back, like this post-millennial generations Leia and Han. So much so that if we see a 'Thousand Planet' sequel it shall be hopefully named what this one should have been, just like the groundbreaking graphic novels by writer Pierre Christin and artist Jean-Claude Mézières that they were based on, 'Valerian and Laureline'. Because Cara Delevingne does everything. Even providing the soundtrack with a song and style matching video ('I Feel Everything') like Rihanna did for 'Star Trek-Beyond' last year. And speaking of Rhi-Rhi she's here too in shape-shifting, chameleonic formidable form. The singing superstar looking and performing her best yet despite the body shaming hate from vile trolls in a scene stealing signature step into the Marmalade limelight straight out of the 'Moulin Rouge' playbook. This lady is electric and probably the best thing about this picture. As the 'Bates Motel' surprise whose about to take the casino with the ladies of 'Oceans Eight' hits the jackpot like she sunk your 'Battleship' all those years back in her dynamite debut. BOOM! She's not the only major musician playing here. As jazzy piano man Herbie Hancock gets behind the notes and lays a hand on the video console with considerable multi-talent we first really saw play all those generations back on one of Eddie Murphy's 'Harlem Nights'. He heads a crazy cast that even features an even crazier tune-in or miss out cameo from legend Rutger Hauer here. Not to mention a pimped up one from a peculiar but perfect Ethan Hawke. The 'Training Day' and 'Magnificent Seven' star leaving us shaking our head and smiling all the same, like the time he hologram message played Colin Farrell (or did Colin Farrell play him?) in the confusing but better directors cut of Arnie's 'Total Recall'. Itself a multi-layered inspired vision of cities of the future like this that looks like a new neon Tokyo were all the lightbulbs have just been changed. A commanding and calculated Clive Owen at the head nicks a nice casting direction of big names too in a film that's more than just it's academy of actors. But the voices that make up a humanoid race of C.G.I. creations that fit into this community like the real deal and look even more beautiful than the blue planet people of 'Avatar' living on a tropical paradise, desert island like planet. An eden that makes 'Wonder Woman's' home look woeful in comparison, before its attacked by more falling soldiers than Chris Pine's fighter pilot in the blockbuster of the Summers opening set-piece. As a matter of fact Luc Besson's whole eye-opening landscape looks like 'Lucy' in a sky of diamonds in this elemental feature that debuted in terrific trailer form with The Beatles beautiful 'Abbey Road' trip 'Because'. And it really is something with the ability to show us the world is more than round in this multiverse. Even if like the long awaited adaptation of Stephen King's gunslinging 'Dark Tower' it's said to be a dud, this galaxy on Orion's Belt still has pearls like the marbles of the 'Men In Black' franchise. Now let's remember these galaxy defenders too. No flashy thing...K?! TIM DAVID HARVEY.

See This If You Liked: 'The Fifth Element', 'Jupiter Ascending', 'Guardians Of The Galaxy'.