Sunday 31 October 2021

REVIEW: ARMY OF THIEVES


3/5

Den Of Thieves. 

127 Mins. Starring: Matthias Schweighöfer, Nathalie Emmanuel, Ruby O. Fee, Stuart Martin, Guz Khan & Jonathan Cohen. Director: Matthias Schweighöfer. 

Listen like thieves, like Michael Hutchence of INXS once said. How about this for a franchise, world building left turn? Who would of thought that after the May day release of '300' and 'Watchmen' director Zack Snyder's 'Army Of The Dead' on Netflix that it would be one of his and the worlds biggest movies of the year and it would lead to all this? I mean it was mere months after years and years of fan-petioning finally serviced us with the four-hour epic 'Snyder Cut' of the 'Justice League' which served exactly that to the league of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Aquaman and Cyborg. Who would of thought that in a crack cast enlisted for this walking dead zombie film that recruited the likes of 'Dune' and 'Guardians Of The Galaxy' star Dave Bautista, the soul of this picture Ella Purnell, the 'Power' of Omari Hardwick, classic comedian Tig Notaro (digitally pasted over a disgraced cast member and who could tell until they were actually told?! Not me! (Paul Rudd meme voice)) and Japanese legend Hiroyuki Sanada ('The Last Samurai', 'The Wolverine') on the 'Mortal Kombat' month of his life, it would be then a little known Matthias Schweighöfer (one of the actual only German's in Tom Cruise's lazy, even accent (forget language) turning in the first scene, 'Valkrie' (there's nothing like saying "for Germany" in an American accent)) and his cracking safe snatching character that would steal the show? What a find, tinkering between the gears and listening in through cold hard steel and his last keepsake to hold with the very safe he keeps socially distant from others for in this time of rampant spreading. Now Netflix are throwing more money at something that was streamed like a controversial Chappelle Show, we have more bite in store. Albeit with different teeth. It's not chomping at the bit of this one and done movie. An anime series is on its way, but first Schweighöfer takes us back to his native gorgeous Germany with Paris and Prague punctuations for a prequel as 'Army Of The Dead' becomes 'Army Of Thieves'. And this battalion is about to have a following like BTS. 

Delightful and as charming as its lead character who is hilariously spilling, screaming shocked hot drinks on himself with Chaplin slapstick when he's not saying "gulp" whilst drinking them (who does that...this throwback does. And it's a joy to watch). Whilst as aesthetically pleasing in Autumn colours this fall and as stylishly suited and booted as the vintage European fashions to match. This prequel practically H.G. Wells takes you back in time.  'Army Of Thieves' is the gentle fun and relief from the hordes of darkness you get in Snyder's sensational chapters and verse. Still stylized in the same typography and tattooed caricature way, Schweighöfer's picture still has much more substance. Oh, that's right he may not be the leader of this money heist for Netflix with everyone dressing up in boiler room red this Halloween (leave that to 'Game Of Thrones' and 'Fast and Furious' franchise vehicle star Nathalie Emmanuel), but he is this movies actual director aswell as the star of the show. Is there nothing Schweighöfer can't do? Steal the show in Snyder's world war Z. Lead and direct his own movie from the cuff of his exquisite style. Fresh from the overkill undead, flesh eating filmography. Make safes sexy. Make nerds sexy. Maintain those immaculate blonde coiffured curls which you just know is going to make this writers hairline jealous. Perhaps hold his drink...at least when it's hot. That's something he needs to work on. God, what a failure! Schweighöfer's fond film and ransom note love letter to the vault of history and legendary locksmith Hans Wagner is outstanding and operatic (and how about fellow countryman Hans Zimmer coming up behind the notes with another sublime score?). The key to it is how different it is from the zekes that came before him this Halloween weekend, were Michael Myers is again causing "groovy baby" confusion like masking up in 'Last Night In Soho' director Edgar Wright's 'Baby Driver'. But it still has its pound of flesh to the strain that started everything off with news report references and nightmares that will still give you a scare behind the couch this smashing pumpkin holiday for extra spice in your gulped lattes. Get 'em whilst they're hot! 

Safe as houses, the rest of this ensemble knows how to work the locks unlike Bad Boys street team (check the Kanye rhyme, we don't have the time. The clocks ticking. Ring the alarm). Emmanuel is in a league of her own. Stepping out of the fire of dragons and exhausts to shift gears to her own star vehicle that puts her on the throne and in the driving seat. Now we just want another prequel...her one. Or some sort of way to bring all these characters back together. Hey, they do it in the 'Fast and Furious' movies. Just look at Han, Letty, everyone else. Probably even Gal Gadot if they can pony up that 'Wonder Woman' money and bring the Princess back to the original model were it all began under the hood. Whilst speaking of the future, 'Polar's' Ruby O. Fee on her own steal is a star up next. Meanwhile 'Babylon' and 'Jamestown' star Stuart Martin and his Pitt and Nic hybrid action star, Brad Cage looks like he muscle bursting through vest is trying to jack huge Hugh Jackman's Wolverine grooming style. And if you need some comic relief from that Logan like anger management then lucky for you it's time to 'Turn Up Charlie' like Idris Elba as another Netflix favourite Guz Khan is simply hilarious...especially over sandwiches. Add French, 'Budapest' actor Jonathan Cohen as an Interpol agent on this crews taillights and oh brother, we have quite the set-up. All to a thrilling climax and emotional end that matches the funny with more bones to pick at in this undead franchise that refuses to die on the vine. When it comes to this thief's theme army and the dawn of the dead, these two very different movies are as thick as thieves. GULP! TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Army Of The Dead', 'Den Of Thieves', 'Money Heist'. 

REVIEW: HALLOWEEN KILLS


3.5/5

Halloween Overkills.

105 Mins. Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak, Will Patton, Thomas Mann, Scott MacArthur, Michael McDonald, Anthony Michael Hall, James Jude Courtney & Nick Castle. Director: David Gordon Green. 

Happy Halloween, you filthy animals! Ahh, dammit! Wrong reference. "Yeah baby, yeah"! How about that?! Nope! Wrong again, like whoever got those Mike Myers 'Austin Powers' masks for Edgar Wright's 'Baby Driver' as we wait here in Japan for a 'Last Night In Soho'. Tonight here in Tokyo, Shibuya is scrambling with 'Squid Game' contestants and an army of 'Money Heist' thieves like a V for Vendetta as the costumes of choice in Tokyo. But hats off (or should we say, "Reindeer Games crowns off"?) to the guy that came as the Vote Loki variant. That mischievous man for President. Now why do I tell you this? Well it's because just leaving the world famous Shinjuku Cinema on Godzilla Road (what an address...especially when people running across the road literally look like they are running away from the life-size kaiju above the theatre), in the one place that always masks up, I just brought in the holiday with the one horror icon who never loses face. Staying safe at a socially slashing distance, even if he is killing everybody in sight. Michael Myers. Smashing pumpkins like Billy Corgan in a boiler suit like he was going to pull off his own 'Casa Da Papel'. Although it's not red...yet. Dead for redemption after the 40 year anniversary of 1978's 'Halloween', with the exact same name, true sequel 'Halloween', disregarding all the rest like the water of 'H20' (forget 20 years later. Although nothing beats Busta Rhymes reflection of Myers). As Jamie Lee Curtis came back to drop the Mike with a blunderbuss. Riding shotgun for the 'Me Too' movement against stalking, predatory males with three generations of family (Judy Greer and Andi Matichak, characters that matter) in this back to bone brushing basics horror classic. Getting its teeth into its legend whilst dropping everyone else's like mints out of a bathroom stall. Now in a scarlet soaked love letter marked for death and fan service. This buffer of a slasher sequel in the age of a returning 'Scream' resurrections for this genre matrix is the perfect middle ground and story segue with old school gore. All before 'Halloween Ends' like no more pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks. 

Fire-starting like The Prodigy, Myers returns in a blaze of glory like Bon Jovi told one too many fans to light a candle near all that 80's hairspray for a 'Bed Of Roses'. But firefighters have called for his opening axe to grind, chainsaw massacre scene to be cut. As incendiary as the brimstone that surrounds a boiling and wet Myers, we believe this scene is in no way meant to be of disrespect or disservice to first responders. This is just hallmark horror. Besides Myers lays waste to many more men and boys in blue, not to mention all the innocent people they are meant to protect and serve. This is just the genre. It's gruesome and its great, so long as you leave your brain, stomach and conscience behind the couch. I have to tread carefully up these haunted house stairs like the fact that I'm giving this a 3.5 when one of my friends literally had the 'Halloween' logo tattooed to his calf (what up Stephen! "I like this movie. My friends likes this movie".) with this one, especially in this day and age of censorship and cancel culture. And some of this bloodlust taking this horror back to its sockets is just too much to look at...if you even still have your eyes. Especially after the new, original 2018 'Halloween' that could stick with 'Us' and 'Midsommar' new age genre 'Get Out' crowd like it was all 'Hereditary'. And from Ari Aster to Jordan Peele's produced 'Candyman' remake, saying even more with director Nia DaCosta, this brute force belongs like his weapon of choice in a kitchen knife holder. Especially with its hallmark homage, opening act to that 70's film that really is the blood red love letter you take it as, as Thomas Mann really ups this game with heart and soul. Like Yahya's 'Candy' (and we aren't talking about 'The Matrix' of his "time to fly" red pill offering, new Morpheus for your 'Resurrection'), this horror is truly saying something too, burning more than the house down. 

Evil doesn't die tonight though. Despite the all in Anthony Michael Hall, slugger leading a little bit trumped up, avenging Haddonsfield (even more legendary than the eerie 'Stranger Things' of Hawkins...and how about that college tee Easter Egg?) townsfolk who are literally Simpson pitchfork mob mentality ready to bang down anyone's door when the real Michael Myers is standing up back in the rear window of his childhood home. Their rally-cry chants to stop evil with a raised fist is even punctuated by what ironically looks like a stabbing motion as they storm a staircase as long as that airport runway in the 'Fast and Furious 6' to go round and round again on that same point. That's just the shape of things making monsters out of us all in the James Jude Courtney and Nick Castle immovable force that is returning director David Gordon Green's different, but still definite sequel. What more could you expect from a talent that directed both the Jake Gyllenhaal 'Stronger' Boston bombing survivor story and the legendary 'Pineapple Express' and that classic kick the windscreen scene? There's so much to this movie. Like the love of a scene stealing Scott MacArthur and Michael McDonald (no, I can't forget...but not that one) playing Little John, Big John, Marco Polo at home. Not to mention "this is my knife", "that's not a knife." Or the Stroud coming of age of a great Greer and magnificent Matichak. So much so that a bed bound, but still brilliant Jamie Lee Curtis (but how about her showing up at the premiere dressed as her late mother's 'Psycho' character, where it all began?) is almost a sideshow next to 'Armageddon' veteran Will Patton. Setting up the showdown of a formidable finale that just might be something for the ages as the candle in the pumpkin goes out. 'Halloween' is almost over, but thanks to the tricks of this treat, it's going to be scary hours for just a little longer. In the end John Carpenter's iconic piano is going to be the ground that lays a path for this carriage before it turns to you know what at midnight. Because this isn't a man. That was the boogeyman. And we're still very much afraid of this big bad, coming home for his Halloween holiday. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Halloween (2018)', 'Halloween (1978)', and yeah almost all the other films in the series they don't like to acknowledge anymore. What is there like, 20?

Saturday 30 October 2021

T.V. REVIEW: STAR WARS - VISIONS


4/5

先見の明

9 Episodes. Animators: Kamikaze Douga, Studio Colorido, Geno Studio, Trigger, Kinema Citrus, Production I.G. & Science Saru. 

力があなたと共にありますように. Now that's a message not lost in translation. Disney + in this post (almost...we hope) pandemic world gave the massive, everything connected, world building 'Star Wars' franchise a small-screen universe and a new hope of redemption after some of those movies ('The Last Jedi'. Sorry. It's good, but in the words of Mando, Pedro Pascal in another movie, "but it could be better"). And all it took was the Baby Yoda, new Buzz Lightyear, Christmas stealing like the Grinch toy that everyone wanted, even when the massive 'Mandalorian' wasn't even out to stream in some terriories yet (like that's going to stop some people). Now Grogu (Baby Yoda to us, The Child still is) has gone home to a galaxy far, far away, Lucasfilm is offering up even more running shows than they have novels, comics, video and trading card games that are all actually canon connected in story. The latest before things like Rosario Dawson's 'Ahsoka', Ewan McGregor's 'Obi Wan' and even 'The Book Of Boba Fett' for a turn, is the animated 'Bad Batch' (that is anything but) and the new anime 'Star Wars-Visions' from six legendary Japanese studios (sorry people, no Ghibli like your neighbour Totoro). Kamikaze Douga, Studio Colorido Geno Studio, Trigger, Kinema Citrus, Production I.G. and Science Saru all have the force and the force is with them...and how about that for a reference. I'm not talking about mine. Spoiler police this is fine (*waves a hand like Liam Neeson*). I know you'll love this one. 

Q like Murakami rewriting George Orwell's '1984', because the number nine is unlucky in Japanese culture, signifying death (and whilst we're at it never leave your chopsticks sticking out of your bowl like incense at a funeral). But there are this many episodes from the six sensational studios given free-reign to do with George Lucas' world as they see fit with their own inspired interpretations of his influence. Cue Samurai lightsabers with more blades than Darth Maul getting more "WOW'S" out of a hushed 'Phantom Menace' theatre than a series of Owen Wilson memes and more "kawhi" (no, not the laughing "fun guy" of a basketball player) anime than you can shake two fingers together like BTS (I know they're Korean, but they're big in Japan too). Cheering on some pod racing, Jabba performing rock stars gets their 'Tatooine Rhapsody' on in this world as Bohemian as Freddie singing "EH, OH" to a packed Live Aid crowd and the whole world watching Wembley in the 80's like it was coming home. The first time this writer teaching in Tokyo came to the land of the rising sun, amongst all the Avengers collectible, lifelike models (that you would really love to collect, but have you seen the price-tag? Plus one is cool, but after that you're basically paying out the ass for a lifetime of guaranteed celibacy) that adorn Forbidden Planet like stores, I was captivated by an iconic Darth Vader regaled in Samurai armour. "BUT IT'S NOT CANON!" I hear you scream. But who cares?! And this show is (although sadly no Samurai Vader like a royal 'Rogue One' cameo to stay for). And why should he not be (again not me, but Darth in the historic armour)? Because 'Star Wars' traditions are deep-rooted in the earth of Samurai history like a wood-block painting from the Hokusai wave. "But it's based on westerns" I hear you reply. Yes, of course it is. A fact that makes the last amazing 'Akakiri' epic and emotional episode even more meaningful. But you do remember what movie 'The Magnificent Seven' remade right? 

Operatically outstanding, but still emotionally invested in the source. Lovingly rendered on the canvas of these cells like forging Kyber crystals into sabres and then presenting their hilts in a wooden box like a sacred honour. This is art. From the charcoal and white sketched scrawls to the black rain that envelopes the last duels of neon swords. All for the seperate stories in this amazing anime anthology akin to Batman's 'Gotham Knight' of darks designs and Netflix's 'Love, Death + Robots' cult hit now in a second batch that we hope we get to see bailing out of this 'Star Wars' ship. Produced by Kanako Shirasakai these stories feature a lone Ronin (or is he?) wandering like Wolverine through ancient script, a dark knight and the hero you need. Not to mention a you know what that flips open like an umbrella for this reign of Jedi's and Sith's. That pod cute band we talked about performing for Jabba, because Princess Leia in a gold bikini just doesn't cut it in these woke times. Even for Ross from 'Friends'. He'd probably picture it all wrong anyway. Twin ambitions that used to run parallel but now divert like X-Wing wings or the light and dark of awakening forces. 'The Village Bride' and how it takes more than a bandits blaster to divorce her from her home for the best looking and perhaps most awe-inspiring moment of all these 'Visions'. Nine Jedi's, forget a magnificent seven Samurai for the real art of war. A droid that dreams of being more than a boy for the most classically animated anime of them all taking us bubblegum back to pop culture artistic beginnings. 'The Elder' in all its jagged lines, electric blades and aggravated animation that serves as so much character to this coming of age and father time story for all you young Padawan and apprentices. A sister and her keeper, no matter how much she rabbits and the sins of a father for the most emotional episode of the set. Until you get right to the end of the end and the forlorn finale that really takes you away in the name of sacrifice and what's right. Because in the end that's what these war of the stars are all about. And with a Japanese voice cast that features stars like Masaki Terasoma, Hiroyuki Yoshino and Seiran Kobayashi, translated to Hollywood by the likes of Henry Golding, Alison Brie and 'Shang-Chi' himself Simu Liu, the force is strong with all that star power. But for all that, that comes at you in hyperspace, it's the nuanced story and the storyboard of animation from concept art to finished picture perfect product that is truly, compellingly out of this world. Visionary. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Love, Death + Robots', 'Batman: Gotham Knight', 'Star Wars-The Bad Batch'. 

Tuesday 19 October 2021

REVIEW: THE LAST DUEL

 


4/5

The French Dispatch. 

153 Mins. Starring: Jodie Comer, Matt Damon, Adam Driver & Ben Affleck. Director: Ridley Scott. 

Act One. On the eve of a killing, there's THREE sides to a story. Challenging us, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have got to see about a duel for their first screenplay co-write in reunion since their Oscar winning 'Good Will Hunting' starring the late, great Robin Williams kick-started their careers. But in writing a film concerning the brutal rape of a woman, in this Me Too era it's best not to leave it to two men with histories like these. Or men at all for that matter. Ben Affleck has been caught on camera groping a television presenter as a young man. Matt Damon recently got himself caught in a mansplaining spiral concerning all these matters. So, 'Can You Ever Forgive Me' Academy nominated and Writers Guild of America winner Nicole Holofcener is your guide. Just like 'Killing Eve's' Jodie Comer is your real star for the real story that matters here amongst all the silver bluster and chain-mail clanking of the duel itself that's really just a sideshow...but a bloody good one in this game of more than thrones. The true one. Holofcener is a student of Scorsese. So how dya like them apples? Throwing it down in the mud for 'Gladiator' and 'Robin Hood' director Ridley Scott's other side of the world when he's not out of this one dealing with 'Alien's' and 'Prometheus' pondering. The man was born for the medieval like mead in his beard. Sure this film told in three parts like the Japanese classic 'Rashomon' has flopped at the box office in this post pandemic age of corona, but what hasn't these days aside from blockbuster fare? The truth is this is still a great movie in these times and one that like Saoirse Ronan's 'Mary Queen Of Scots' with Margot Robbie there's more than meets the eyes of these ye olde tales of history when the quill has previously only been held by men. Time to retell it like it is. For history and her story. For not the King, but those who should be Queen. 

Act Two. Paris, 1386 by the record of Eric Jager's 'The Last Duel: A True Story Of Trial By Combat In Medieval France' book, this historical film takes into account what really happened when Jean de Carrouges (a darker Damon) challenged fellow knight, former friend and squire Jaques Le Gris (Kylo Ren himself, 'Marriage Story' nominated Adam Driver who's about to have more in store this fall with Lady Gaga's 'House Of Gucci') to a duel (dropped gloves and all) after accusing him of raping his wife Marguerite (a compelling Comer). But is this really in this woman's name and honour, or just for Carrouges petty pride and vanity that needs to be put aside as it is far from the real issue here? From breaking line and rank and storming into battle AFTER women with knives to their throat are killed (which we don't need to gratuitously see...especially twice, Ridley), we don't really know who did this "for the King" as both claim the declaration. Or who in fact acted as the bigger man when it came to a post fallout with no return truce...if any of them really is one at all. It's interesting to see each man's take in all their pomp and circumstance as you see these three acts are told from Jean, Jaques and finally Marguerite's (the only side that truly matters), truth and perspective. Which really does make this epic a really long movie, especially when my watch stopped halfway through ("this thing really is taking its time. How is it still a quarter past?"). But this isn't just about getting to the fighting as this thing has its day in its own personal courts. The joust of this knights tale really just shows you how pathetic its really come as no one looks out for the real number one and the gallery people's priorities and loyalties change with every sword stroke and blood soak. Clapping for their privilege and to watch all this gossip descend into drama and death. Their loyalties lying with the victor as the truth is the only thing thicker than the mud below them is their shallow minds. Comer communicates this all in a look that reveals more and her disdain for a man who does her every dishonor short of the one that tooks hers away. All before she reclaimed it all on and as her own. 

Act Three. Chapter by chapter you can clearly see which perspective was wrote by Damon, but credit to him for not trying to make his uglier than his mullet and mace scarred knight dashing in white saviour tropes. As his caustic look offers one of the most compelling characters of his cinematic career following the standing ovation he got in Cannes for this summers 'Stillwater' movie that ran deep. You can also clearly see the parts wrote by Affleck, more than a 'Family Guy' fart joke. The acclaimed 'Argo' director whose Batman we still want to see (despite the amazing Matt Reeves trailer) like the point made by a 'Flash' movie in this mobbed multiverse. Pettiness flexing, Affleck is also clearly having platinum blonde like Sugar Ray, bawdy fun. Actually stealing the show with a caraf of wine as the pompous Count Pierre D'Alençon. And what of the great Adam Driver's acting in all of this, looking like an ageless Reeves renaissance man that belonged to that time in painting? Driving home how bad and blissfully unaware he is of all that, you'll grow to hate the man that they all call handsome here like they do the Hollywood star in the real world that these man with no manners to maketh of here are devoid of seeing. Signs of the times then and the ones that don't a-change now aswell as Adam being a great actor. Because when it comes to Holofcener and Comer's central story told last, but saved for then because at its best. Its all you need when it comes to this meandering movie. It's more than the truth. It's revelatory. "hE's sO hAnDsoMe perHaPs sHe juSt dreAMed tHIs." All the red flags. In this post-Weinsten time (looking at you boys) it won't have been a long one since that pathetic and puerile argument made in this movie and history was made in our real world just a few ignorant years ago. Can you imagine such a thing? Truly medevial! But the fact is this isn't fiction even in those stories that havent been told to this day...yet. Back then a woman accusing a man of rape could be stripped naked, shorn, dragged through the city and burnt to death like a witch, whether it took hours or more for just saying such a thing. And her fate was decided over a duel like God decided all of this?! I'm truly lost for words and if you're a man you should be too. Because we have no right. We may have come a long way since then, but really...have we? When it comes to the last words from Nicole and Jodie in this duel they need to be honoured by an envelope from the Academy that is addressed only to them. With all due respect to the great Scott, Damon, Affleck and Driver who all do more than their bit here in telling this story, that's the only seal that matters. Come Oscar time, deliver it. And every woman's day and right to say what happened to them too. So justice can just be done. No matter how many years it has been. Without judgement, fear, scorn, or much worse that this scorched earth has offered them. The only thing they should be given in their stand to tell their story is a stage just as big and worthy like they are as the men's and an audience that will listen with more than reason, but recognition. Man, make that your mark. The rest like history rewrote, will tell itself. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Rashomon', 'Mary Queen Of Scots', 'Good Will Hunting'. 


4/5

The French Dispatch. 

153 Mins. Starring: Jodie Comer, Matt Damon, Adam Driver & Ben Affleck. Director: Ridley Scott. 

Act One. On the eve of a killing, there's THREE sides to a story. Challenging us, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have got to see about a duel for their first screenplay co-write in reunion since their Oscar winning 'Good Will Hunting' starring the late, great Robin Williams kick-started their careers. But in writing a film concerning the brutal rape of a woman, in this Me Too era it's best not to leave it to two men with histories like these. Or men at all for that matter. Ben Affleck has been caught on camera groping a television presenter as a young man. Matt Damon recently got himself caught in a mansplaining spiral concerning all these matters. So, 'Can You Ever Forgive Me' Academy nominated and Writers Guild of America winner Nicole Holofcener is your guide. Just like 'Killing Eve's' Jodie Comer is your real star for the real story that matters here amongst all the silver bluster and chain-mail clanking of the duel itself that's really just a sideshow...but a bloody good one in this game of more than thrones. The true one. Holofcener is a student of Scorsese. So how dya like them apples? Throwing it down in the mud for 'Gladiator' and 'Robin Hood' director Ridley Scott's other side of the world when he's not out of this one dealing with 'Alien's' and 'Prometheus' pondering. The man was born for the medieval like mead in his beard. Sure this film told in three parts like the Japanese classic 'Rashomon' has flopped at the box office in this post pandemic age of corona, but what hasn't these days aside from blockbuster fare? The truth is this is still a great movie in these times and one that like Saoirse Ronan's 'Mary Queen Of Scots' with Margot Robbie there's more than meets the eyes of these ye olde tales of history when the quill has previously only been held by men. Time to retell it like it is. For history and her story. For not the King, but those who should be Queen. 

Act Two. Paris, 1386 by the record of Eric Jager's 'The Last Duel: A True Story Of Trial By Combat In Medieval France' book, this historical film takes into account what really happened when Jean de Carrouges (Matt Damon) challenged fellow knight, former friend and squire Jaques Le Gris (Kylo Ren himself, 'Marriage Story' nominated Adam Driver who's about to have more in store this fall with Lady Gaga's 'House Of Gucci') to a duel (dropped gloves and all) after accusing him of raping his wife Marguerite (a compelling Comer). But is this really in this woman's name and honour, or just for Carrouges petty pride and vanity that needs to be put aside as it is far from the real issue here? From breaking line and rank and storming into battle AFTER women with knives to their throat are killed (which we don't need to gratuitously see...especially twice, Ridley), we don't really know who did this "for the King" as both claim the declaration. Or who in fact acted as the bigger man when it came to a post fallout with no return truce...if any of them really is at all. It's interesting to see each man's take in all their pomp and circumstance as you see these three acts are told from Jean, Jaques and finally Marguerite's (the only side that truly matters), truth and perspective. Which really does make this epic a really long movie, especially when my watch stopped halfway through ("this thing really is taking its time. How is it still a quarter past?"). But this isn't just about getting to the fighting as this thing has its day in its own personal courts. The joust of this knights tale really just shows you how pathetic its really come as no one looks out for the real number one and the gallery people's priorities and loyalties change with every sword stroke and blood soak. Clapping for their privilege and to watch all this gossip descend into drama and death. Their loyalties lying with the victor as the truth is the only thing thicker than the mud below them is their shallow minds. Comer communicates this all in a look that reveals more and her disdain for a man who does her every dishonor short of the one that tooks hers away, all before she reclaimed it all on and as her own. 

Act Three. Chapter by chapter you can clearly see which perspective was wrote by Damon, but credit to him for not trying to make his uglier than his mullet and mace scarred knight dashing in white saviour tropes. As his caustic look offers one of the most compelling characters of his cinematic career following the standing ovation he got in Cannes for this summers 'Stillwater' movie that ran deep. You can also clearly see the parts wrote by Affleck, more than a 'Family Guy' fart joke. The acclaimed 'Argo' director whose Batman we still want to see (despite the amazing Matt Reeves trailer) like the point made by a 'Flash' movie in this mobbed multiverse. Pettiness flexing, Affleck is also clearly having platinum blonde like Sugar Ray, bawdy fun. Actually stealing the show with a caraf of wine as the pompous Count Pierre D'Alençon. And what of the great Adam Driver's acting in all of this, looking like an ageless Reeves renaissance man that belonged to that time in painting? Driving home how bad and blissfully unaware he is of all that, you'll grow to hate the man that they all call handsome here like they do the Hollywood star in the real world that these man with no manners to maketh of here are devoid of seeing. Signs of the times then and the ones that don't a-change now aswell as Adam being a great actor. Because when it comes to Holofcener and Comer's central story told last, but saved for then because at its best, its all you need when it comes to this meandering movie, it's more than the truth. It's revelatory. "hE's sO hAnDsoMe perHaPs sHe juSt dreAMed tHIs." All the red flags. In this post-Weinsten time (looking at you boys) it won't have been a long one since that pathetic and puerile argument made in this movie and history was made in our real world just a few ignorant years ago. Can you imagine such a thing? Truly medevial! But the fact is this isn't fiction even in those stories that havent been told to this day...yet. Back then a woman accusing a man of rape could be stripped naked, shorn, dragged through the city and burnt to death like a witch, whether it took hours or more for just saying such a thing. And her fate was decided over a duel like God decided all of this?! I'm truly lost for words and if you're a man you should be too. Because we have no right. We may have come a long way since then, but really...have we? When it comes to the last words from Nicole and Jodie in this duel they need to be honoured by an envelope from the Academy that is addressed only to them. With all due respect to the great Scott, Damon, Affleck and Driver who all do more than their bit here in telling this story, that's the only seal that matters. Come Oscar time, deliver it. And every woman's day and right to say what happened to them too. No matter how many years it has been. So justice can just be done. Without judgement, fear, scorn, or much worse that this scorched earth has offered them. The only thing they should be given in their stand to tell their story is a stage just as big and worthy like they are as the men's and an audience that will listen with more than reason, but recognition. Man, make that your mark. The rest like history rewrote, will tell itself. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Rashomon', 'Mary Queen Of Scots', 'Good Will Hunting'. 

REVIEW: CANDYMAN


4/5

Candy Shop. 

91 Mins. Starring: Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Teyonah Parris, Nathan Stewart-Jarrett, Kyle Kaminsky, Vanessa Williams & Colman Domingo. Director: Nia DaCosta. 

'Candyman', Candyman, Candym...just kidding, I ain't even gonna say his name like 'Beetlejuice'. We know I'm still a wuss for horror movies. Despite my new love for this genre approaching Halloween season like a "groovy baby" slasher stalking Jamie Lee Curtis with a blunderbuss. 'Halloween Kills' too. Either way Jordan Peele who told 'Us' to 'Get Out' and his perfectly produced 'Candyman' is here in a reign of pollen falling like snow around his sheepskin and suede (it better not really rain like 'Seinfeld') Tom Hardy's Bane would be proud of. And Yahya Abdul-Matten II's second coming of this Candy, John is the bees knees. Like Christian Aguilera said about him, "he's the one stop shop, with a real big (uh)"...hook for a hand. Give him one. Because didn't your mama warn you not to take sweets from strangers? But beyond a punchline. More than a cautionary tale. Or even a scary story for you horror aficionados that see Friday the 13th as a stroke of luck the moment midnight hits. This is more than all that. And bigger than Jordan too like the city of Chicago it's set in. Peele may have poured over the script in co-write. But this is 'Little Woods' writer, director and Tribeca winner Nia DaCosta's movie. The youngest director to be handed the keys to direct a Marvel movie ('The Marvels') to be exact after Ryan Coogler and the 'Black Panther' revolution. This is her moment as she takes us to the candy shop like 50 and everyone's as she takes those to task in a time were Black Lives Matter like they always have and always should have. Haunting us with the dark shadows of cardboard puppetry of the horrors of history for her art on this cinematic canvas that is anything but paper thin. Having you stay right to the end of the credits and the shutter reel like they do here out of respect in Japan. Say her name over and over again until it comes out of an envelope marked, "best". 

Basquiat throwing everything at the screen in hopes that something will stick with you like honey once you've left the auditorium, DaCosta delivers a horror like no other. Even in this 'Hereditary' golden age of 'Midsommar' burning like 'The Wicker Man'. Sending more than shivers down your spine she really makes you look in the mirror, lost for words with a lump in your throat. And that's the hook like Pan, Peter. From the moment this all begins between the Windy City fog of some inverted skyscrapers turning your whole world upside down in this time were things are stranger than eleven out of ten. So much so the reversed Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer roaring lion, Bron like the King creative productions and Monkeypaw I.D.'s will have you wanting to rush to the nearest usher to tell them the projectionist set this thing the wrong way, until on reflection you realize how much of a fool you've been. Laughing like the time 'Family Guy' took the piss out of elaborative, over-the-top and top many overused production titles which make you unable to determine what's the beginning of the movie and what's not. No trouble here though. We all know what this movie is all about as 'Nobody's Smiling' in the streets of Chicago like the Common album that gave us an explicit content warning of the violence here like a parental advisory sticker. A classic city still untouchable like Capone that has been given a brief respite thanks to the Sky high champions of the homecoming queen Candace Parker led champion WNBA team in the leagues 25th anniversary. But this city still needs to be put on like Kanye once said with Jeezy. There's too much lead sailing through this city of wind and for all the jump scares in this hook slasher that will make you scream like the dialled in return of "hello Sidney". Who are you gonna call when the thing that will scare you out your skin more than anything here is the shot from a cop's glock? Booking in the theatre that will leave everyone silent. Not a dry eye or chewed kernel of popcorn in the house. Certainly not some overused 'Ghostbusters' cliché. This is realer than the reaper you thought was under you bed as a kid. This is what really keeps us up at night. 

Hives of talent, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II is the real deal as one of the greatest of our generations. You just have to see him as Black Panther Bobby Seale in Netflix's 'The Trial Of The Chicago 7' that no gag could bound, to see how much more he means. The man who can play both the Black Manta of an awesome 'Aquaman' villain and take DC even deeper in the hallmark HBO 'Watchman' series as no other but...can we say it yet for the blue man group that's a hit in Broadway, Times Square, Manhattan? If that wasn't enough Yahya is about to take over Laurence Fishburne as Morpheus (all but confirmed, but c'mon. Look at those eyeglasses) in the return of 'The Matrix' for 'Resurrections'. "Time to fly!". But this is his moment and movie too like a classic carnival cameo in 'Us' that saw the guy whose popped up in both 'The Handmaid's Tale' and 'Black Mirror' series significantly, staggering around drunk like his own horror show. And here in a movie that looks at the human ones by the book like forefather Stephen King, he plays a socially conscious artist whose about to turn the whole art world into a Jackson Pollock one. Abdul-Mateen the second is amazingly adept at showing us the buried bruises of the soul without telling us. From the Denzel school of a were a single tear can evoke waterfalls of pain for not just him, but all the people that look like him. It's a powerful performance in a movie as such as the ages hidden behind the couch as another fright fest. He does the legend incarnate of Tony Todd's Daniel Robitaille based on Clive Barker's short story 'The Forbidden' proud in their honor. Scratching beneath the skin of a bee sting he should really get looked at as this movie cuts like razorblade candy that when it drops sends more shocks than a dismembered hand. This project houses even more talent bringing attention to the inner city in this movie. New Hollywood heavyweights like the incredible Teyonah Parris as the heart of this film after her super 'WandaVision' breakout through more than the fourth wall. Her brother, E4 and Channel 4, 'Misfits' and 'Utopia' star Nathan Stewart-Jarrett steals any scene he's in with his lovely lover Kyle Kaminsky ('One Night In Hollywood'). Whilst 'New Jack City' legend Vanessa Williams saves the best for last with no need for an A. Just like Michael B. Jordan, there's room for more than one Vanessa Williams and this one is just as great as her singing slash acting namesake. But for all that spins round this movie it's Parris' 'If Beale Street Could Talk' (she really has left a mark ever since she told her lead to, "unbow your head sister") co-star and 'Ma Rainey's Black Bottom' and 'Selma' star Colman Domingo's laundromat owner that really let's everything wash over you like someone left a red sock in with the load for a movie that cuts to the core like the ridge of a hacksaw. Getting out Peele's idea of the gentrification of black homes, bodies and lives, but cutting deeper. "They love what we make, but they don't love us," he says in a moment that will stay with you longer than the night terrors. Hear the sound? We all know what the real swarm that could more than sting you is now as the siren blares. On reflection, 'Candyman' is more than a scary story but one that shows the real human horrors that lie beneath the sheet they just pulled over everyone's head like the wool over our eyes. Say his name. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Candyman (1992)', 'Get Out', 'Us'. 

Monday 18 October 2021

REVIEW: DUNE


4/5

Spice World: The Movie. 

155 Mins. Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Josh Brolin, Stellan Skarsgård, Dave Bautista, David Dastmalchian, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Chang Chen, Sharon Duncan-Brewster, Babs Olusanmokun, Zendaya, Charlotte Rampling, Jason Mamoa & Javier Bardem. Director: Denis Villeneuve. 

Roaring finally on-screen in Japan. One week before its US release. One of the biggest blockbusters quarantined and locked down in a projectionists loft for so long like 'No Time To Die' is finally here. All under the monster of a skyscraper life-sized Godzilla above Tokyo's iconic Shinjuku cinema, big in Japan like a kaiju. Through corridors of framed autographs of Schwarzenegger's, Spielberg's and Spider-Men that you could just Cruise past and take off the walls (and it wouldn't be a mission impossible either). All the way to an IMAX cinema with a Laser like the giant lizards breath. All for the big screen it deserves...no HBO Max (especially after the postponed like Tokyo 2020 until this year 'Godzilla vs Kong' wasn't the Olympic main event we waited all these years for in anticipation) for Warner Bros new Christopher Nolan like director now the 'Tenet' one has seen the future. Denis Villeneuve's 'Dune'...and you thought it was coming out this summer, a month before July. Sorry I couldn't resist like my pun, Dad joke loving friend Dave, or the tag-line. Spice up your cinematic life with this endless epic that may not have Sting with ginger hair or Patrick Stewart cackling with a cat as machine gunners gun (make it so for the sequel Denis), but for cult science fiction fans is akin to a religious experience with Shakespeare poetic resonance. Bringing David Lynch's weird and wonderful dated 'Dune' of 1984 starring the damn fine coffee to his 'Twin Peaks', Kyle MacLachlan to the modern day Gen Z with a perfect cast Timothée Chalamet doing his best 'Edward Scissorhands' impression (what more could you expect from the kid with the DEPPth to also play 'Wonka' too? No need for the Gene meme) and Zendaya doing her best Luke Skywalker in 'The Force Awakens' one. Taking the tomes of Frank Herbert's legendary 1965 book and all the volumes that came after to a whole new stage as we all mask up like the desert people in this movie. It's like they knew they were going to get postponed at a social distance until things got safer again through the sands of time. But now the hour-glass has passed. 

Title screen. As this movie opens we are given our first reveal we won't spoil like that reporter on Twitter who got to see a screening months ago, but forgot the rules of an embargo. All to truly give us the sense of scale of this sprawling epic that will engross you with all its compelling cinematography that disappears within the dunes like quicksand or the simmering and shimmering Hans Zimmer score (we told you Denis was the new Nolan, no wannabe (I tell you what's with all the Spice Girl references?)). Villeneuve has always had ambition. Just check his pre 'Prisoners' 'Enemy', doppleganging with Jake Gyllenhaal again. But the 'Sicario' breakout director truly arrived with 'Arrival' and the out of the world nature of not only his fiction, but the 'Interstellar' like science behind his mesmerizing movies and their beautiful biblical proportions. No wonder he was tasked with bringing Harrison Ford and 'Blade Runner' back in '2049'. And he succeeded too. Giving us one of the greatest, sci-fi's and sequel success stories-especially after all those years-of our time. Even turning Ana de Armas into a star and Bond woman with the knives and guns akimbo out. And now he does to the dunes what he did to the cyberpunk, neon soaked streets of androids that dream of digital fleeces. This world hasn't sung this much since Sting was driving round in a Jaguar S-Type playing 'Desert Rose' (absolute banger). Updating another legend with undeniable conviction when we thought it all couldn't be done. Warping and worming his way through sticking to the cult classics nature like a sacred text, all whilst making it all so bloody believable even in this against the clock time and tide of cynicism. Making him one of the greatest auteurs of our time. I could definitely sit through another one of his two and a half hour plus ponderings of what it means to be human in an alien world we've been told has been coming for decades, that now feels closer than another epic encounter. 

Every epic deserves an ensemble as such. Call them by their name. Chalamet's about to play Dylan. If he's not been the world's biggest star before now, he will be then. If he isn't already after today. The times are a-changin' to his world. The answers to this profound and breaking new spilling ground plot, my friend, are blowing in the sand. And this actor with a wind whisper, speaks to it perfectly. This 'Beautiful Boy' is 'The King'. The one like Neo in the revolutions of this matrix. And heading a cast of Hollywood heavyweights the skinny on this kid is this is the movie that can take the 'Lady Bird' and 'Little Women' star to the stratosphere he's always been ready for launch for. Similar to the rest of the power precipice stars he shares the limelight with here, as just like in Hollywood, no one is really bigger than the movie, or at least it's leading man. But if anyone came close it would be the 'Euphoria' of the first-name terms like Beyoncé and Rihanna, Zendaya. Even in the midst of the pandemic on another year of her career with Netflix's relationship black and white 'Malcolm and Marie' with a 'Tenet' time John David Washington, this and another Spider-Verse with 'No Way Home' as MJ. Speaking of MJ, she even played the iconic and redefined Lola Bunny in the King James 'Space Jam' sequel this summer. In this new legacy she's right there, on the edge. Just like her 'Greatest Showman' co-star Rebecca Ferguson, stealing everything she's been in and the soul of this story. Married to Oscar Isaac (lucky, hey ladies) like the 'Most Violent Year' (and emotional household) reunion of Jessica Chastain chastising him on the HBO remake of the Swedish series, 'Scenes From A Marriage'. A salt and pepper bearded and weary, but wise as still one of the leading actors of our time, flanked by a brawn brutal Josh Brolin who is the blunt knife heart of this film, once you get past the Thanos thing that comes now with his voice. Whilst 'Aquaman' Jason Mamoa as an action anchor loses more of his beard, but gains more of your trust and love as the movie wears and then roars on. But it's Bond villain and 'No (desert) Country For Old Men' icon Javier Bardem who holds more in store for this legend. Denis reunites with two blade running David's again too. Galaxy guardian and the man who could have really wrestled with the themes of H.G. Wells 'Invisible Man', fresh off Zack Snyder's 'Army Of The Dead', Dave Bautista. And the 'Prisoner' arresting, 'Suicide Squad' and summer stealing, "I'M A" superhero, David Dastmalchian. All straight razor to the scalp made to look like me in two years and Stellan Skarsgård's sickening villain, flouncing around on the fat of his land like Jabba. Add 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's' Chang Chen in a critical role and a veiled Charlotte Rampling having us convinced for a minute that she was Cate Blanchet and you've got quite a cast who are all actually bested at times by Sharon Duncan-Brewster, Babs Olusanmokun and Stephen McKinley Henderson. But when 'Dune' is all said and done, who will be left in the pit? As we all know who the biggest star is snaking through the sand. But how about those dragonfly like helicopters buzzing? The best use of futuristic transportation since the land of 'Black Panther's' Wakanda with all the vibranium toys. They say here that "fear is a mind killer", but don't be scared. This brainy blockbuster will expand yours as it's set to make a killing, correcting the balance. A new beginning to this delicate time. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Dune (1984)', 'Arrival', 'Blade Runner 2049'.

Monday 11 October 2021

TV REVIEW - ATTACK OF THE HOLLYWOOD CLICHÉS!


4/5

The Lowe End Theory. 

58 Mins. Hosted By: Rob Lowe.

BOOM! My college English Language teacher, the great Miss Rafferty once taught us to begin any piece of writing with a word that catches the eye like 'Rye'. Not boring staples like 'The', 'A' and all that 'Once upon a time' (sorry Quentin) bollocks. It's such a cliché. So here it is Miss...why the whole class and her laughed at my explosive introduction I'll never know and still hurts to this day, so here it is...again. The world is so full of clichés, especially in this social media sharing age of the retweet. Being asked to "be kind" by the worst people ("FACTS!"), being told someone's never felt about another like they do about us...right now (triggering right? Do I sound bitter?) and of course who could forget being reassured that when we get fired from our job, our house gets burnt down and we lose that cat that never liked us anyway (spoiler, it's not in the tree. Let it go) that, "everything happens for a (f#####g) reason." Hash-tag, "LOL". 

One of the biggest clichés in this world is Hollywood. As much as we love it, that fact is so white...ahem, excuse me, I mean so right. And in Netflix's new comedy clip-show special, dusting the explosive shards off their shoulders like another cliché after the firestorm legendary comedian Dave Chappelle's 'The Closer' (there's more to it than meets the fire in people's eyes) special did for them close to the edge, Rob Lowe of 'The West Wing', 'Wayne's World' and 'Austin Powers' (he's Rob Lowe...we're not) hilariously hosts-grocery bag with baguette in hand-a new Netflix special that takes on all that in 'Attack Of The Hollywood Clichés' that doesn't need your rotten, killer tomatoes, or George Clooney. From Wilhelm screams to funerals from afar, this ticking time bomb takes on it all with aplomb, even sticking it to sexism and racism like only a cis gender, white male can. Featuring contributions from actors like Florence Pugh ('Midsommar', 'Black Widow') and Andie MacDowell ('Four Weddings' and even more clichés...but oh how we love it) and film critics like James King and Jonathan Ross this show is a hilarious delight and another great thing to Skype stream with my parents in-sync across the pond. Now we can't say much more than this...because that would be CLICHÉ ALERT, a spoiler. So about how a twist (*groans*). Let's get in on the act and run down our top five clichés that didn't make the cut in celebration of cinema that makes us think and turn around to the camera like Ryan Reynolds breaking the fourth wall, like Phoebe Waller-Bridge breaking the fourth wall, like Fred Savage breaking the fourth wall (you get the poked idea), "well, that's just lazy writing."

5. The Quantum Leap Tardis. 

My pop always says, "WMAS" and I think we should coin this idea after him. It means, 'Wouldn't Make A Story" and so many things happen like that in movies. Par exemplé, when someone George like a genie arm slapping his way into 'Seinfeld's' apartment appears from one location to another, seamlessly from scene-to-scene. Forgot a montage (hilarious moment in this 'Attack'). SHAZAM! Here they are! Yes, I get the concept of time, but sometimes it's ridiculous. Like they've figuratively and literally walked across the set, not the city. This is why we now have the one shot and get to watch a character literally walk from the front door to the end of the movie like 'Birdman' for this unexpected 'Virtue Of Ignorance'. You're welcome!

4. Exposition...this is where they over explain in a movie who the protagonists friend, family member, foe, food delivery guy is with an over the top, epic explanation and lazy backstory that would never happen in real life in an industry that prides itself on realism and hammers home this point way too mu... 

Like Sarah Paulson's Linda Tripp putting the phone tap squeeze on Bernie Feldstein's Monica Lewinsky in 'Impeachment' for Ryan Murphy's latest 'American Crime Story' (and then you "ate" the pizza?) character in films will literally cliff note explain their lives and loves to people like a Denzel Washington 'Philadelphia' six-year old (we already did in the title...to make a point (I feel like we have to over explain everything these days)). 'Attack Of The Cliché' sends this up perfectly with 'The Rock' of Ed Harris staring at the gravestone of 'His Wife'. But there's literally a Nicholas Cage film were he tells someone, "you're my sister" and it's not the wonderful, forgetful life of the Christmas 'Family Man'. The movie's called 'Knowing'. I rest my case like another overdone line. 

3. "No, you hang up". 

Have you ever noticed that in movies after people finish phone calls they hang up without saying bye (all praise to Larry David in 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' for riffing on this social "norm") and we're not just talking about police or hostage situations. Not cool! Did I do something wrong? God, if I had a nickel for a phone call every time I said that. 

2. Keep the change...because I didn't even pay. 

And here's a tip, tell me you haven't noticed that every time a character leaves a cab in a movie, they do so without paying! Again...not cool. No wonder Robert De Niro went crazy. The taxi driver chasing Will Smith's real-life character (he had a heartbreaking excuse) in 'The Pursuit Of Happyness' for what seems like weeks and is even better than every car chase 'Hollywood Clichés' runs down is every cabbie right now. 

1. An explosive end...but you just missed it. 

Finally who could forget (well apparently this show...but not in the picture promo), the greatest cliche of them all that 'Cool Guys Don't Look At Explosions' like a classic song from The Lonely Island performed by Andy Samberg, Will Ferrell and J.J. Abrams (probably guilty of this one too many times)? With this cliché this Netflix show and article wouldn't exist so let them have the final say and take a YouTube trip down memory lane. We would list every cool guy that's walked away from a fireball without such as giving "just a little look" like Clint Eastwood wanted off Rene Russo in 'In (in) The Line Of Fire', but then we would have to list every movie in the IMDB database. Besides stealing someone else's idea is so...you know what. As clichéd as if like any other Hollywood movie or this comedy special we just ended this review abruptl... TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: Every cliché...I mean movie in the history of Hollywood. 

Saturday 9 October 2021

STAND-UP REVIEW: DAVE CHAPPELLE - THE CLOSER


3.5/5

Close Edge.

Fourth of July...there was always going to be some fireworks. Two years back. Pre-corona. Pre this personal move of mine from the UK to Japan, I took one last trip as an Englishman in New York before we all got stung by what only a mask, a vaccine (it's just a little prick) and adequate social distant measures and respect will save us and our world from. I wanted a day of independence to see the light show before my birthday and big jump. All in a place I frequently vacated to during my 20's that roared for the stars and stripes. Coincidentally it all occurred at the same time in symbolic synchronicity for me that the new July 4th themed 'Stranger Things' season on Netflix would come into play, turning the whole summer upside down. Aptly set in July, 1985. The very month I was born. It couldn't be more perfect and the ideal way to say goodbye to the US for awhile (turns out I was right to make the trip one last time before it was too late, because look at us now). That was until after the smoke cleared from all the firecrackers I saw something in the Times Square lights. 'Chappelle On Broadway', b#####! My favourite comedian and a legend on the mic. Surely there weren't any tickets left? My luck isn't that good. Turns out there and it was. And what a set, tailor-made for what was to come on one of his sixth signature Netflix specials. One of the first jokes was a little bit to close to the bone to those where it would hit home. "Oh, man the f### up" he told us (like he similarly does here). "It's gonna get a lot worse than that." He was right. Later on outside the summer sun in the city getting too much for me, in a haze, still off the natural high of this trip, I waited around for an autograph and picture after the show. Standing around tired and out of it in the social media age of impatience looking for that Instagram story when I should have really focused on the memory. I move from the crowd to get a bit of sidewalk to sit and that's when he comes out. The crowd goes wild like when the Knicks finally made the playoffs last season. I couldn't get a look in. Part tiredness, part a crowd that no one would want to control now, but mostly the Brit in me that felt like I shouldn't be a bother. This felt like the time on Broadway when I heard the familiar 'Scent Of A Woman' hoo-aah's of Al Pacino throwing a pen back to a fan in the cypher of his last signature. Another legend so close, but so far. Not like when I met Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman here in the same night. What was I to do? A marvelous memory tinged with a litle bit of disappointment from my failure. No post to like. No memory to love. But anyway, today, you know what they'd say. And maybe it doesn't matter so much now. 

Hicks. Pryor. Rock. Classic comedians have all courted controversy. But this is something else. I want to defend Dave Chappelle. This is the man we all fought for last year when Netflix brought back Comedy Central's classic 'Chappelle Show', but at first without his explicit permission and due credit. Nostalgically when it was finally made right we loved looking back at our generations favourite, insightful and incendiary comedy sketch show. Anyone that knows this game and genre changer and the infamous Rick James sketch will understand my "'Chappelle On Broadway' , b####" reference from the previous paragraph. But yeah, even that's overexposed (two thumbs down reference) and past its best. In the age of the woke, perhaps it's time to stop trying to look like we are and actually do the work. Like Dave's hip-hop legend friend Yasiin Bey said best about relief for Hurricane Katrina for his 'Clap' song, "don't talk about it, be about it. Peace." There's an iconic moment in Chappelle's Show musical guest spots were Dave drives around Brooklyn and the B.K. M.C. (then Mos Def) and one half of Black Star with socially conscious rapper turned controversy courting Talib Kweli ('The Midnight Miracle' podcast partners of Chappelle have a soaring new song that closes out 'The Closer') raps along to his new song off 'The New Danger', 'Close Edge'. "Don't push me, 'cause I'm close" he homages 'The Message' of originators Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. And that's kind about the size of it. This is a man who walked away from millions like 'Seinfeld' (the bassists dream also enjoying a nostalgia trip, or first journey for this 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' (talk about controversy...just wait) superfan), because he thought he went too far with a black pixie sketch. Retreating to Africa and literally finding himself beyond a cliché and the muscled up body of work that came next. I want to defend him, but I'm not sure I can. This is the man who last year during our worst one and the masked-up fight back with a raised fist of the Black Lives Matter movement released another work of critical comedy that received nary a laugh. The incredible, social commentary and call to justice of '8.46' which was one of the most important pieces of artwork and cultural cornerstones of last year. And was meant to be more than a joke for Netflix, no laughing matter for a time when we all needed relief. If you really want to know more in this swipe-past age, Google why the name is the number it is if you don't already know. Because like the Notorious one said, "now you know". But when it comes to Chappelle's sixth comedy special for Netflix (after the last also controversial, but Grammy winning 'Sticks and Stones' that broke more than bones), 'The Closer'. People really are feeling close to the edge. 

Transphobia. Homophobia. It's all being claimed. Jokes about standing up for women as long as they'll...well, you know how he puts it, smack at the irony satirically of those who claim they are all for something, but really looking for likes are just for social media show. And like he said to a roar from the crowd, Twitter, "is not a real place". But the trouble is, like a "I'm rich b####" in this age of second-by-second timeline refreshment, it has all been done before. And for those who don't get nuance or the tricks comedians pull to make real points, it can have damaging effects. We can't all be as safe but as assured as Jerry Seinfeld putting social norms and their oddities perfectly. We live in a different society now. That's all not Dave Chappelle's responsibility however. His is to do something with his art and work. And in actually explaining himself out of a hole and right into another one that we have seen played out on platforms this whole week, for some people who probably haven't even watched yet, there is a demand for the plug to be pulled. Especially from the transgender showrunner of Netflix's 'Dear White People', Jaclyn Moore who has distanced herself from the streaming service, perhaps permanently. She has some proven points to make, although there has also been some claims of misrepresentation of black people on her show when it comes to the behind the scenes goings on. And that's similar to some of the points Chappelle is trying to make as he asks the trans community to stop "punching down" on his people. This, in reference to a tweet made by Dave's trans friend Daphne Dorman which is NOT another case of, "I'm not racist, I have a black friend." And believe me, when you find out what happened days after that tweet was sent (which I must stress Dave Chappelle does not accuse anyone of the trans community being responsible of), you will be shocked to the core in the real point of the show, just like the name of his YouTube one from last year about the length of time officer Derek Chauvin had his knee on George Floyd's neck. The second-half of Chappelle's show is all about this Trans war he seems to be stoking and perhaps overkill as it ends up looking like he is obsessed with this issue. But such is the nature when your backs against the wall in defence. Two woman in the audience clearly are not impressed and their faces stand out as such. But the rest of the Detroit crowd whose city he disses (just for jokes) and the fans are into it. Knowing why one of the GOAT's of comedy is doing what he's doing. Defending J.K. Rowling and hilariously comparing the 'Harry Potter' books to the Bible, Chappelle isn't the first to do this (defend, not the classic biblical reference) and someone does need to address the without prejudice toxicity of cancel culture, now some of the most damaging predators (Weinsten, Spacey) have either been brought to justice, or removed from this world of influence in entertainment by the peoples consensus. 

We are so used to being divided on everything these days. It's almost like we want people to say something different so we can shame them. And in this modern day war of masks and needles as we try to beat coronavirus and ignorance it seems we would rather end people then try to help them understand. It infects every issue from the 'Black Lives Matter' movement to the 'Stop Asian Hate' one (why aren't people taking about that like he did?). And we've lost too many like Mooney and Charlie Murphy lately to continue to hate on those who are trying to spark debate. Even if they use gasoline instead of a pulled up chair for an open dialogue as an accelerant. But claiming to be "Team Turf" is just ignorant and harmful and restating Rowling's "gender is a fact" opinion, no matter how you want to put it is almost dangerously akin to the damaging word of another influencing presence in the modern mainstream, back when Kanye West said, "slavery is a choice". It doesn't matter what point you're trying to make. When people in this streaming, diluted world just take a few of the words out of their real context. Taking them as read in bright lights. The effects can be devastating. Besides everyone has a right to identify with what they choose to be...and there should be no shame in that. Dave Chappelle reiterates that he isn't against the trans community referencing his previous point in his last show about why was it easier for Caitlyn Jenner to change her gender than it was for Muhammad Ali to change his name. And here he wonders why DaBaby was cancelled (or "aborted") for his recent phobic comments and not the fact that he shot someone in a Walmart of all places. All fair and valid. This is a man who once asked why he can use the n word with impunity, but if he says "f####t" than everyone loses their minds. To which someone replied, "because Dave, you're not gay." To which he, without missing a beat countered, "but I'm not a n#### either." It's incredible comments like this (although gay people aren't "faggots" either) that can actually help bring about change for good (in others...and ultimately himself. Because after all, we could all do with a little work) and why we shouldn't just cancel this Mark Twain prize winner, or others for that matter. But clearly there's some reflection that needs to be sought as we sort all this out. Now if you think this is just some safe playing, habitual fence sitting pandering to both sides, it's not. You can still be a big fan of someone and love them enough to keep it real if you want to challenge something they say (Kanye). That's truer. This speaks to the quote from the comedian in question himself. "Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate someone. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe, say, or do. Both are nonsense. You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate." Dear white people, this white man can silently in solidarity (sometimes...because nobody needs to hear what a man like me has to say on this issue. But I would be remiss in responsibility not to review this, when I have everything else he's done) support equal rights for everybody in this spectrum without joining the "social" media witch-hunt (this reminds me of the "you hate women" episode of 'Atlanta')  of a black man, just because he disagrees with some of the things he says and the techniques that were used to make a bigger, more world reaching point that has now been drowned out by all this rage. Dave says he's done and that he won't make jokes about the trans community until "we're all laughing together". This sort of forehead hit call for unity like a Rick James brass knuckle may not ring as true as the close edge comedian would like, but we believe there's more of a search for understanding in his work than there is a cause or intention of malice. Especially in these times. 'The Closer' is Chappelle's last special for Netflix, slamming the breaks like he did hilariously in the latest Morgan Freeman narrated teaser. And perhaps for now that is the best thing. We all may want to claim "there just jokes, baby" like an Eddie Murphy drive home, but when it is causing this much pain, like we've seen over the last week, perhaps it's time to change lanes. The road to a better way is paved with the "bisexual empathy" that Dave preaches. Time for us all (and him) to put that into practice. TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'Sticks and Stones', 'Equanimity and The Bird Revelation', '8.46'.

Wednesday 6 October 2021

TV REVIEW: WHAT IF...? - Season 1


4/5

The Watcher

9 Episodes. Starring: Jeffrey Wright and literally everyone in the Marvel Cinematic Universe still under contract (sorry RDJ and ScarJo). "What! You wanted more?" Like Benedict Wong? He's here too...of course. Get your 'Hotel California' karaoke box ready. But that's another story. Created By: AC Bradley. 

How about this? What if Agent Carter became Captain Carter? Took that shield like Captain Britain. Led the Howling Commando's to victory over Hitler and Hydra. Punching misogyny in the face iconically whilst she was at it. What if Hayley Atwell got the heroes welcome she deserved for Peg after fronting the first female solo series 'Agent Carter'? Whilst Captain America remained skinny but suited up in an iron giant, Hydra Crusher machine that looks a lot like the one Howard Stark's son made in a cave with "A BOX OF SCRAPS!?" What if 'Captain America and The Winter Soldier' star Sebastian Stan's best friend Bucky Barnes never lost that arm, but instead was given a hand as the punchline delivering quip King to his new Cap? Devoid of the darkness that would set into his metal and mind like a coming Winter. But then what if Peggy and Steve still missed that dance? What if the wrong kid got abducted by aliens? What if the King of Wakanda actually got to be the lord of the stars? What if this time there was no "WHO"? What if a black man could be more than even king, ruling a galaxy? What would the already inspired kids think of this incredible role model we lost too soon then? What if we got to hear Chadwick's voice again? What if this was the last time? What if another old friend was brought back, whistling in the wind? What if you got the chance to laugh at that Taserface name again? What if we saw that even mad men can be good? Efficient? What if we saw what Nebula was really like before she was stripped for parts? What if we really saw how much Benicio del Toro could collect in his villain armoury? What if we got more quack from the duck? What if all the supporting characters cut from the comics finally got their page to screen, cell to cartoon due like what 'Guardians Of The Galaxy' director James Gunn is doing right now with all those misfits from 'The Suicide Squad'? What of a real homecoming as we say goodbye to a real hero? One who knew all about power and responsibility. 

What if The Avengers didn't assemble? Thor didn't pick up his hammer? Mr. Stark didn't step out of the donut and Bruce Banner didn't get angry? What if Loki gave us another variant for this multi-verse variable? What if we could say more, but don't want to spoil? What if Strange Tales really gave you the greatest question to 'What If'? So much so even The Watcher almost got involved like a Dr. Dre song. Stranger things have happened. But what if the good Doctor lost his heart instead of his hands? And this Sherlock didn't have a magnet to repulse all of that. What if sometimes when something is broke, trying to fix it just makes it worse? What if Strange was trapped in this paradox on a 'Groundhog Day' on the 'Edge Of Tomorrow'? Heartbreakingly again and again for the most emotional episode. A poetic meditation of loss. Giving you one of the greatest glass shattering quotes about real love. Showing the darkness that lies underneath the cape. Showing the other side of the coin as he tries to create a world of his own. Waking up every mourning to grief like tuning into 'WandaVision' with your breakfast cereal. Creating his own 'Multiverse Of Madness' like his forthcoming solo movie duet with the Scarlet Witch. All with 'No Way Home' like with Spider-Man this Christmas exploding with Easter Eggs. "Stop messing with the spell". Strange days indeed as we open the doors. What if the Marvel Cinematic Universe became World War Z? Earth's Mightiest Zombie's. What if Captain America could eat brains all day? And Tony Stark said, "I am an undead Iron Man!?" What if Bruce Banner came crashing down to earth to warn nobody about Thanos? What if Michael Douglas' Hank Pym really did mess up everything in this 'What If'? What if the head of Paul Rudd ate up all the Dad jokes? What if cult comic ("I'm a super") hero of the moment David Dastmalchian came back from 'Suicide Squad' to be a part of this Baba Yaga horror? So many cameos for these headshots. "BLAM. BLAM!" What if Vision created his own 'WanadaVision'? What if Marvel's comic legend of zombies had more bite? And you think the Skrull Invasion is something to be afraid of when they finally flesh it out like fear itself. 

What if by mid-season there was so much more flipping the script? What if we still loved 'What If' this far in, even with the Christmas tinsel teaser of the 'Hawkeye' holidays are coming trailer? What if the questions got even more world altering for better or worse? What if the greatest villain not named Loki, Erik Killmonger rescued Iron Man from that cave in the desert instead of Ho Yinsen? What if we really got to see even more how good Michael B. Jordan was at being bad? As his Erik character that kills it lives again to add a few more notches to his body. What if Jordan was having the time of his life making Stark Industry iron men inspired by anime and being really vocal in this one like he was in Netflix's cult, 'Love, Death + Robots' animated anthology like straight out of a video game? What if Marvel with loving rendering recreated the first scene out the MCU that blew the "fun-vee" doors off and Mick Wingert did his best RDJ impression? All in an episode which revisited key Marvel sets and pieces in animation for this reinvention remix. What if we got to hear once more from T' Challa again like in the previous epic episode? All for an even more powerful and poignant moment for the Panthers. Dear Chadwick forever. The idea of 'What If' taking us back to the 2008 'Iron Man' inception has even got us thinking. With all due respect to Don Cheadle, what if Marvel gave Terrence Howard's War Machine a call for this multiverse, this time baby? What if the god of love and thunder, Thor was a party boy like Jackass Chris Pontius? The Rager like Kid Cudi, without his brother or beard. For one episode that will have you shouting "ANOTHER" like dropped teacups. For all the "scoot, scoot" cameos like more duck tales, Jeff Goldblum getting his Grandmaster "Flash" on and Odin's son getting it on with Captain Marvel after their 'Endgame' flirting...but not in the way misogynistic trolls would think from reading way too much into that line. This episode? I like this one. Just make sure you have everything cleaned up before the parents get home. No longer a puppet on a string, what if the 'Age Of Ultron' lasted more than 15 minutes? And standing inside your brain this was the closest we could get to Budapest?

What if this all culminated into something special we simply couldn't spoil for AC Bradley's creation? What if we saw the ultimate team-up of avenging Guardians? All with 'No Time To Die' as what if The Watcher in this westworld broke his oath? And what of that lost Gamora episode? What if...there was a season 2 too? What if this was real Disney, legendary animation for a plus? With classic concept art in closing like 'The Mandalorian' to credit. What if this collection was the closest thing to the Marvel Comics' compelling strands of plot that like a 'Doctor Strange' spell now makes this MCU 'Multiverse' madness closer to its rival DCEU in their tangents, all whilst still colouring inside the lines? What if this was the key to all the multiverse you're about to see? What if around 80% of the Academy of amazing actors lent their vocal talents to this? The beautiful Boseman. Jeremy "I'm Clint" Renner (we care). Hayley Atwell. But Chris Evans is not the Captain now and Robert Downey Jr. is not Iron Man. And apparently when it came to Drax's selfie moment, Dave Batuista wasn't asked. Fading into the background like the Invisible Man. What if this was Marvel's most original idea yet? What if Jeffrey Wright was really a big baby? What if he was just a massive intergalactic pervert? Ponder these questions with the nuanced narration of The Watcher. Its an eternal question posing infinite possibilities to your life, my life and their life. What if you followed that dream, took that job, told that person you loved them? Or then again...what if you didn't? 'What If...?' Watch this! TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'Captain America-The First Avenger', 'Iron Man', 'Guardians Of The Galaxy'. 

REVIEW: NO TIME TO DIE


4/5

Die One More Day.

163 Mins. Starring: Daniel Craig, Rami Malek, Léa Seydoux, Lashana Lynch, Ana de Armas, Ben Whishaw, Naomie Harris, Rory Kinnear, Billy Magnussen, Jeffrey Wright, Christoph Waltz & Ralph Fiennes. Director: Cary Joji Fukunaga. 

Ladies and gentleman like "the weekend", the wait is over for Bond 25 premiered at London's Royal Albert Hall. 'Happier Than Ever' I now finally get to listen to youngest ever Billie Eilish's iconic theme 'No Time To Die' over the classic 007 titles. Even if Gladys Knight is still my favourite (tough pips!). And plugging my social media ears for over two years, the smokey and smouldering singers simmering signature sound is worth the epic anticipation. Scoring like Hans Zimmer giving dark nights to the gun barrel homage of a spy who one day may be directed by the 'Inception' of Christopher Nolan (Danny Boyle dropped out of this one). But this is 'True Detective' director Cary Joji Fukunaga's investigation and spider-diagram. The 'Writing's On The Wall' like Sam Smith's theme that went against type for Bond's swan song. This is it with no time left to die after we've waited so long like another day.  James Bond. "License to kill. History of violence," as new 'Bad Guy' Rami Malek puts it. Fresh off rising like Mercury for Freddie in this 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. Galileo. Waxing lyrical in his Japanese zen garden like a calmer Javier Bardem, or Mads Mikkelsen, bar none. This is the best deal since the royal flush of Daniel Craig's 'Casino Royal' first hand, word whisper to Eva Green's Vesper. The Adele rising 'Skyfall', the 'Spectre' homage. It's all Mendes connected like a 'Quantum Of Solace' for the one Sherlock like sleuth who can best Bourne and even the impossible missions of Tom Cruise. He can even skydive with Her Majesty on her secret service for the London, 2012 Olympics...now that's Queen. But its 2021 now. A new masked and vaccined world of corona that saw Tokyo, 2020 this Summer and cinemas curtain closed as big pictures were put on hold longer than a starters pistol false start. But now the barrel is back, cocked and loaded before Bond fades to black...or is that blood red? 

Idris Elba (awks...please)? Henry (Goddamn) Golding. This new double-O (she's a disarming young woman)? This all feels final for Ian Fleming's James. Just when you thought you couldn't cry at a Bond film, you will like Daniel Craig thanking the crew in that viral video. Applauding whilst still in the tux of the Cuban crisis carnage of an amazing action scene filmed with hand-held missiles flying like pylon sparks. Salut! Thank goodness for screenwriter Phoebe Waller-Bridge's signature moments of levity lifted straight out of her iconic 'Fleabag'. So much so you half expect Bond to break the fourth wall and look at the camera knowingly with deprecation when someone forgets the name's Bond...James Bond. But how could you forget this Commander Craig in iconic blue fisherman sweater (your new fall favourite), just made an honorary Royal Navy one? Salute. Never actually shaken, but always stirring. Going down like your favourite Martini. And on the rocks with a twist, how about this? Craig's classic James is now iconic in Bond lore like Roger, Timothy and Pierce...and let's not be lazy and forget the legacy of Lazenby. Even if my late, lovely neighbour once sweetly, like only she could told Daniel upon meeting him at a Liverpool match at Anfield, "you're not my favourite Bond...Sean Connery is." To which Craig without missing a trick lent over and replied, "he's mine too". My word is my Bond like Moore autobiography. Don't raise an eyebrow. On time in 'No Time' with the Omega Seamster for the gadgets watch. Stepping out of the latest toy like the classic car that used to sit on my windowsill like a clouds silver lining. This one doing donuts, spreading smoke and mini-gun fire after Bond bungeed off a bridge and then flew back up it on the back of a steel horse of a chopper. All courtesy like the car of Ben Whishaw on Q, holed up somewhere in London (Paddington's our guess). Although in this epic part of all the players, criminally underutilised in this enterprise (although it's great to rely on more from 'Lucan' Rory Kinnear) like Naomie Harris' refreshed Moneypenny now resigned to desk duty after shooting Bond through the chest. M's the word like 'Kings Man' Ralph Fiennes filling in for and finding a M16 home, post Dench. This service is also secret. Hush, hush. 

Worth all the wait in Fleming gold, this big Bond spectacle deserves to be seen on the biggest screen. Timely too with no time for misogyny, this is a different world from those old books that were written so well, but should never have dealt the "swift slap" meant to "calm her down" (pu-leeze). Still, you only have to read Ian's 'Goldfinger' to see that even back then when it came to women in agency that were more than just "Bond girls", Bond mustn't have been dreaming. They were as real then as they are today. So why all the hate? 'Captain Marvel' star Lashawn Lynch is a real Marvel and force of nature and if she's the next to take flight as double-O then the sky really is the limit. She owns every scenes she's in by the gun and control never lost. "Need a ride?" Just like knives in (someone please call the sequel that before it's too late) and guns out 'Blade Runner 2049' star Ana de Armas. Reuniting with Craig classically and stealing the one scene she's in (more please), an armed up Armas is the toast. You'll have faith in her Paloma character, downing people in heels and a backless gown. But the real Bond woman here giving us more depth and heart and the very soul of this picture is the returning Léa Seydoux. The 'French Dispatch' icon who has already spied hard before for a 'Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol', but here gives this action packed-in its 'Blue Is The Warmest Colour' level of star shining, acclaimed acting. With more time than Louis Armstrong, this storybook ending is going to need all it can get with more twists and turns than it takes to fix a glass eye, as a primo "not this guy again" henchman switches opticians like he does bad guy prescriptions. From being the literal eyes of Christoph Waltz's returning legendary Blofield (minus cat but with some creaky cell intimidation straight out the lamb silencing, Magneto or Marvel Loki playbook...even if it does take him half an hour to get here), to the mesmerizing Malek. Rami's cracked, masked up (how appropriate), outstanding opening scene on the ice is matched only by the Mercury man's cold demeanour as a legendary Bond villain. One whose larger than his physical life presence (just like Live Aid) is felt throughout even though he doesn't really make his mark until the third act like Shakespeare when he really scars. All this plus the 'Westworld' of Jeffrey Wright's redefining CIA slick agent friend Felix (they go waaay back) and recognisable face Billy Magnussen (having the week of his life with this and 'The Many Saints Of Newark' for you Sopranos). Needing to watch their six and ask more questions than Wright's Watcher and forthcoming Batman Commissioner Gordon does for Marvel's 'What If' animated series also concluding today. All this for Fukunaga's formidable film with Waller bridging the gap. All this, all for him. The man who not only redefined Bond to be a blunt knife that still cut fine in a tailored suit. Even stepping out of the sea of misogyny and switching the sex symbol status of this franchise (you remember those blue briefs) like the safety off a gun, now holstering his hand. But a man who became this generations James. 007 forever like the diamond he is. Craig...Daniel Craig. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Casino Royale', 'Skyfall', 'Spectre'. 

Sunday 3 October 2021

REVIEW: THE GUILTY


4/5

Guilty As Called.

90 Mins. Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Ethan Hawke, Riley Keough, Christina Vidal Mitchell, Adrian Martinez, Eli Goree, Da'Vine Joy Randolph, Bill Burr, Paul Dano & Peter Sarsgaard. Director: Antoine Fuqua.

Last night I went to the cinema with my parents. Well...the home cinema because of corona, different continents (just outside of Liverpool (Southport) to just outside of Tokyo (Yokohama), what a way to go) and the new Jake Gyllenhaal movie on Netflix. Skyped in sync, bringing us close together after more than 18 months apart at a social and flights distance. Everything else-the buzzed 'Squid Game' which I'll stream soon, I promise "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET" people. Or Daniel Craig's 'No Time To Die' (that can wait until tomorrow) for his Bond swan song-is less than Jake. Mum says he looks like Dad when he was younger (hmm), me arguing that I'd even shower with Jake Gyllenhaal (wait...that's not what we're talking about). But tell me this new movie from director Antoine Fuqua (the chess, not checkers world of 'Training Day') and screenwriter Nic Pizzolatto (the flat circles of HBO's 'True Detective') is not the perfect home box office one for the small screen N Movie giant as stuck behind the desk duty of a disgraced cop, Gyllenhaal is literally following health and safety protocols, locked down by the book. Or like everyone was taking those no bathing comments literally and giving him his space, wearing masks. 'The Guilty', your honour is a clear conviction of convincing character confliction. As trying to save the day like Denzel in 'The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3' this remake of a 2018 Danish classic (how are Hollywood really about to do this instead of toasting Mads Mikkelsen's 'Druk', going for 'Another Round' with DiCaprio?), Gyllenhaal is 'Guilty' too like Strei-sand and Gibb (word to born star, Bradley Cooper). Someone call 911 like Wyclef, as beeped like Missy, Jake's cop turned emergency response operator is now behind the console controls like the opposite of his 'Source Code' dialled up classic. Tenser than an 'Eye In The Sky', 'Good Kill' (a star of that movie is here too, more on that later), for 'The Call' that changes Gyllenhaal's destiny (hey, Academy) like a similar one Halle Berry received in 2013 for her own critical call-center. Hold the line. 

Engaged in a battle of wills and his own life falling apart at the seams as he seems to make things worse like calling an ex in his asthmatic pressure cooker, Jake is far from the 'End Of Watch', but this taught thriller is as tensely claustrophobic as that David Ayer camcorder classic for your bodies. Think of this as confining and defining to how one amazing actor asking after acclaim can hold our gaze like a 'Rear Window' as his 'Life' friend Ryan Reynolds being 'Buried' alive, or a 'Locke' down Tom Hardy  with some vocal assistance for Venom in the form of your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man Tom Holland (who is not 'Far From Home' from Gyllenhaal's Mysterio). Now that it's all but post-credit confirmed that these two Tom H's will point at each other in Spidey suits like fans only hope they can catch a glimpse of with Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield, 'No Way Home' this fall. Its all about the voices like a Pixar picture and Netflix can pay the price to pitch as many A-list talents as they have under their umbrella. There's even an unmistakable, classic cameo from comedian and 'Mandalorian' blind-sider, Bill Burr. There's so many "is that" recognisable voices you would swear some were going uncredited like the time the previously mentioned Bradley Cooper called up 'Kate' herself Mary Elizabeth Winstead on her way to '10 Cloverfield Lane'. Riddle me this, is that Gyllenhaal's 'Wildlife' (the best movie of 2018...FACT! No question like the 'Promising Young Woman' of Carey Mulligan) director Paul Dano with the California wildfires raging, reuniting with his fellow 'Prisoner'? Just like the 'Training Day' of the best of the best Ethan Hawke teaming up once more with Fuqua like he did with him AND Denzel for 'The Magnificent Seven'. But for all the voices in Gyllenhaal's head coming out the studio booth. Regina King's 'One Night In Miami's' own Cassius Clay, Eli Goree as his partner (a knockout). Divine Tony nominated, 'Ghost: The Musical' star Da'Vine Joy Randolph's dispatcher ready to dispense rank and order, anytime Gyllenhaal's anger management cop needs that coaching. And an always reliable, character actor Peter Sarsgaard showing us we don't have to see him to believe him. It's Presley granddaughter and Netflix's Tokyo bound 'Earthquake Bird' star Riley Keough that strikes the deepest chord. 

Manning the phones face-to-face for the shield and only a call away we have 'Focus' feature standout (no mean feat between the slick charm of Will Smith and Margot Robbie, who could gain anyone's confidence) Adrian Martinez and 'Code Black' and another 'Training Day' reunion (no Denzel? OK!) Christina Vidal Mitchell running the show with authority. But even amongst all the phoned in cameos (that's a pun not a criticism) for this Toronto Film Festival darling. Pizzolatto's script as slick as his surname. And 'Olympus Has Fallen', 'Shooter', 'Brooklyn's Finest' (hello, Ethan) and 'The Equalizer' franchise director Fuqua's formidable direction (making this '1 2 3' film with situation room (you should see the real Los Angeles emergency response room) shades of 'Pelham' (also Denzel) look like the late, great Tony Scott on steroids), it's very much the great Gyllenhaal's operation. Dialling it all the way up with a buzzsaw (smooth like Netflix 'Velvet') cut and putting down a performance worthy of being a man whose shed Bale's of boxing, 'Raging' De Niro bull weight's next Oscar vehicle. Nightcrawling for some of his 'Stronger' best since 'Brokeback' or 'Donnie'. 'The Guilty' is his most personal and profound since Denis Villeneuve's Toronto spider starring salad days of 'The Enemy' doppelganger. This 'Zodiac' stressful like investigation detects your never and hits you with southpaw after 'Southpaw'. Stressing every emotion. Madder than an online gameplayer, complete with headset. A newbie to this new duty that see his plastic pass decorate his neck, whilst his badge is belt and trouser afterthought to others, not eye-to-eye level. Aggravated, angry to the core and asthmatic. Inhaling more calls than he can handle through the smoke of these forest fires. Forlorn over family, but dedicated to duty. Not good for nothing, but definitely movie name of something. 'Zodiac', 'Prisoner', 'End Of Watch', Gyllenhaal can play these cop characters in his sleep, but wakes up more real life here. This isn't hero worship, or the tropes of a tired white saviour complex. It's a complex cop, beat down into the ground of his own mistakes by the gun that a badge can't shield. Still in the same week Lakers NBA legend and Los Angeles Times and Hollywood Reporter writer Kareem Abdul-Jabbar writes his 'Black Cop's Kid' essay for Amazon, this broadsheet blockbuster is another analysis of both sides of the gun and the fact that we may have forgot that there is still a dichotomy of good cop versus bad cop....even if it does exist in the blue blood of one officer. No one is all good and no one is all bad. There's crooked, corrupt cops that need to be brought to swift justice. Handing in their badge and gun for good, trading them up for silver bracelets. Those are the guilty. Whilst there are some cops that are just trying to do their job. And 'The Guilty' does that by the book. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'End Of Watch', 'Buried', 'The Call'.