REVIEW: AVENGERS-ENDGAME

5/5

Avengers Disassemble.

181 Mins. Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Paul Rudd, Brie Larson, Karen Gillan, Danai Gurira, Gwyneth Paltrow, Bradley Cooper & Josh Brolin. Directors: Anthony & Joe Russo.

(Everything in this review is in the trailers too. There are no spoilers here.)

Game over! This is the end. The final punch to the same heavy bag Captain America pummeled into 'Avengers Assemble', chain-breaking submission after the whole defrosting thing in the fight of their lives. Ashes to ashes. Dust to, "I don't feel so good!" Six of the original Avengers left going for the six infinity stones with one 'Captain Marvel' to lead them all after her massive movie by the breaking billion. We're in the 'Endgame' now Steven Strange. But wait! Disney have just given us a plus. 'Falcon and The Winter Soldier'. 'Loki?' 'WandaVision?!?' Could you have not waited a couple of weeks to squeak Mickey? I guess there's no need for a spoiler alert (although aside from what's already in the trailers, there's no back of the 'Fast and Furious' matchbox cars here), like Ant-Man out the quantum realm. Or Hawkeye's mortal kombat of Ronin being brought back to bow from Japan by 'Ghost In The Shell' Major Scarlett Johansson after being lost in Tokyo. Still what an outstanding, one shot, rain soaked, symbolic scene in Japanese with 'John Wick' subtitles, by the light of illuminating neon. Highlighted by Japanese legend Hiroyuki Sanada. A Far East icon who was so stellar with the samurai sword in Hugh Jackman's 'The Wolverine' movie in the land of the rising sun and hasn't missed a stroke. The Hawk has his own show taking wing too like Widow's forthcoming movie. But how about a spin-off called 'Budapest'? We even see Iron Man back on earth shaking Cap's hand to end their 'Civil War' in the tear inducing trailers (get this man his shield back). Not to mention this Summer 'Spider-Man' is 'Far From Home' too. Still Thanos demands all our silence. Including when we leave the theatre, unlike Homer Simpson walking past the line telling everyone who Luke Skywalker's father is thanks. Hash-tag, "don't spoil the 'Endgame'." I guess they're all coming back (or are they?) in a franchise that just won't, or let it's characters die. Wakanda Forever. Oh Hai Quicksilver...no don't worry he doesn't make a speedy (a tee hee hee) recovery here. But admit it you wouldn't have seen that coming. At least unlike the 'Age Of Ultron' which lasted for around two and a half hours, this three hour epic caps off the Mad Titan's purple reign of terror that began in the Loki assembled attack on New York and after several films of sitting on his ass ended with a snap. And we're not talking about what he did to the God of Mischief's neck which would have been the most emotional and epic death of the whole war of infinity if it wasn't for a Twitter trend spoil. Sort your feeds out social media...better yet, like seeing the real world this time of year (albeit in a darkened cinema) stay off them screens. But I assure you, "the sun will shine on us again."

$500 that's how much opening night tickets have been going for on eBay like it was a sold out concert for the Rolling Stones. Well these sixties legends have almost been swinging for as long from the late, legendary, let's hope there's one more cameo like all the comic-book turning and busting Hollywood ones here, Stan Lee's New York bullpen office. Where and when he sketch cell created characters whilst watching real spiders climb walls like King Kong up the Empire State. Half a grand for what will piano play like the biggest excuse of a sick day ever. Just tell your boss you don't feel so good. Because you don't want to miss this band getting back together on the New York rooftops after they broke up like The Beatles. This band of brothers going for the stones really are like the Stones. Or something akin to Beatlemania. There's the guy with the shield again. You're original Cap, red, white and blue, suped up super soldier leader calling the shots. With superhuman strength and Superman honour, this kid from Brooklyn has done this all day for the little guys. And he could do this all decade. Following this 'First Avenger's' romanticism of Liverpool's Albert Dock doubling as ye olde Brooklyn brownstone debut and his battle with childhood pal and best friend Bucky in the best in show 'The Winter Soldier' M.C.U. movie, we were introduced to the matrix of the revolutionary, dynamic directing duo of the Russo Brothers, Anthony and Joe. Who before 'Infinity' and this 'Endgame' gave us 'Civil War' as these directing Godfather's know how to pull all he strings. A war between the star spangled Cap (this time outfitted in an American Eagle feathery touch tribute to his iconic garb) played with Steve Rogers heart and Chris Evans soul and the Bruce Wayne like billionaire, playboy philanthropist, bad boy behaviour by Hollywood's real rebel heart Robert Downey Jr. The arc reactor charismatic catalyst to all of these 21 movies that have even surpassed 'Star Wars' storytelling arcs a decade ago (even though it seems like a thousand years back in 2008. Although these three hours feel like 3 minutes), who was born to play Tony Stark's Iron Man like Hugh Jackman's Wolverine or Ryan Reynolds' Deadpool. Or of course the Cap he finally fits to shake hands with like we hope he puts a ring on Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper Potts' finger in the end. That is now she hasn't already been turned into that same pepper similar, finger clicking like annoying customers at waiters to pass the salt, dust. But instead the sliding doors of something you've never seen before. And Panthers, Spiders and trees oh my, don't worry. We won't dust pan and brush sweep spoil if any of the other fallen heroes return from the other side, or Aunt Mary's vacuum bag. Now that Farm-os has hung up his armour like a scarecrow and retreated to the fields after all that killing. Or maybe to his living room T.V. to watch some Cable...get it? Cable! Ugh! I bet you wish he clicked his fingers at me don't you? But if you really want to know what he's up to Google his name and give his fist a little bump. Looks like dad jokes survived the snap. But either way even though the earth's mightiest heroes couldn't save the world. You'll be damn sure with 'Endgame' that they're going to avenge it.

OH SNAP! Now do we have a Hulk again in this epic, emotional end to this big, beautiful blockbuster franchise that kids now with kids of their own have grown up with like 'Harry Potter'? One that's seen Bruce Banner himself Mark Ruffalo receive several different scripts with 'Endgame's' ending for the walking Tom Holland like spoiler that he is. Now how's that for anger management? But you wouldn't like him when he streams the first ten minutes of 'Ragnarok'. But off that Planet Hulk and green with envy for the Hyde to his Dr. Jekyll, this Mark is out of this world as the not so jolly green giant who has had more incarnations (Edward Norton...huh! Whaaaat?!) than Spider-Man's Uncle Ben has had burglary botched deaths. From Lou Ferrigno's sweet, soulful seventies show, to visionary 'Gemini Man' director Ang Lee's inventive 'Hulk' movie, most like a comic-book in its cell structure. He's smashing! But what of his 'Ragnarok' friend from work who should of gone for the head in his own Star-Lord blunder blooper? The last time he trusted someone he lost an eye. Word to Goose (somebody please let the cat out of the bag here). But now this maverick hammer time Thor has an axe to grind (I like this one) now he's stormbroken watched all these people die like the fall of Asgard and the dusting of his realms lifeboat. But before this 'International', amazing Australian joins the 'Men In Black' with his Valkyrie ally (did she and that fan favourite, lovable pile of rocks from New Zealand like Tessa Thompson's tweet suggested really have a drink whilst the Children of Thanos were left dusting up what remained of Asgard?) to save the world again, he gives us a force of lightning we'll never be able to neuralyze. But when this fantastic four (we hope to see that family soon too Emily and John?! Silver surfing with the eater of planets, Galactus and all sorts of X Men in the Disney deal) are met by two elite assassin's, Josh Brolin's bracingly brilliant Thanos (still not as big bad scary as his 'Sicario' soldier ordering air strikes in crocs. But way more personable. Even in CGI that makes him look like the purple reign of Shaquille O'Neal had a love child with the dude from 'Pawn Stars', like that hilarious, "best I can do is 5 bucks" Infinity Gauntlet meme) faces off with a sinister six even with the late registration of an M.I.A. A.W.O.L Peter Parker. And how about the friendship goals reunion team-up of Jeremy Renner and Scarlett Johansson? They're still friends right? You have no idea how hard they hit as Hawkeye and Black Widow are just as integral a part as these Avengers as the bow and arrow, bullseye skills of their most influential leaders that hellicarrier depend on them. Just like Paul Rudd's giant gregarious 'Ant-Man' with a plan. Back like he never left any of these movies, but was just shrunken down to size. Which have most fan theories looking at where the sun doesn't shine on Thanos or a grateful universe. Or the war weary but still standing to attention Don Cheadle's Rhodey warrior, War Machine. Now joined by Brie Larson's brilliant, cosmic Captain Marvel who might just be mighty enough to take on the Mad Titan who will never be a God with her own two hands. The legendary Larson really has room to come into her own lead here, glittering like the horn of her 'Unicorn Store', even without the big Sam I am, L. Jackson. But how about the wonder women of Marvel standing together HIGHER. FURTHER. FASTER baby for a comic cell cinematic moment instead? Not to mention Karen Gillian's daughter of daddy issues, Nebula android, plugged in to the good fight with the rest of her galaxy guardians far, far away. Or the Rocket man racoon that talks a lot like Bradley Cooper's 'A Star Is Born' Jackson Maine rock God let that hair and facial fuzz grow a little too long. Growling through real emotion too as everyone here knows it's not time to let the old ways die. And let's not forget about 'Black Panther' scene stealer and wig throwing warrior queen, Danai Gurira who has all the best lines again like, "why was she up there this whole time" for the last 21 or so M.C.U. movies. Well deserving of her place amongst those avenging the fallen and her name on the billboards (why wasn't her name up there this whole time) as she surveys her Wakanda kingdom practically alone (where's Lupita?). Perfectly balanced as all things should be. Just like this closing chapter of the cinematic universe in its whole, own galaxy of stars by the six degree of superhero separation coming together. 'Titanic' long, but without a water logged moment in the whole perfect swan song set sail. Set to hook, line and sink every other movie ever with what it will gross, 'Endgame' is exactly what big, blockbuster cinematic spectacles should be. There are so many incredible moments. This thing is flawless like apartment blocks without elevators. After almost all the movies in the M.C.U. being strong fours, Marvel finally get their five star classic. The kind of event epic you want to see right again as soon as the curtain calls. 3000 time over. This movie had almost everyone in the theatre who weren't waiting around for the traditional two post credit scenes like real Marvel fans (this is the end. There are actually none. That is one thing we can spoil for your convenience) clapping...and this isn't America Miles Morales' uncle. This Easter all the eggs are hatching in classic callbacks that play like more than just a greatest hits clip show. Culminating with the stones to take on even the epic 'Lord Of The Rings' when it comes to formidable finale fights of a battle royale scale, straight out of a 'Game Of Thrones' playbook. Right after a big-three prelude reminiscent of Shakespeare in the park, minus your mother's drapes. With everyone wanting their 'Murder On The Orient Express' train turn to end Thanos' game. And you thought 'Infinity' was war?! But this still hits you where it hurts...the heart. And you could have found this writer in the exits after that. Because I was gone. And for you as much tears will be shed as blood. From the very first arrow through the heart opening, to the end of the line we're with you 'till. This is it! The reason we go to the movies with our dates and popcorn in hand. This is the end. But that is part of the beginning. Never fear like fear itself. Back like Bond (whose 25 films in over a half century doesn't even compare to 22 over 10 (and that's not counting those outside the MCU), apart from how long it's lasted), The Avengers will return. Whatever it takes. Excelsior. TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'Avengers: Infinity War', 'Avengers Assemble', 'Captain Marvel'.