Sunday 29 March 2020

REVIEW: BLOODSHOT

3/5

Bloodsport.

109 Mins. Starring: Vin Diesel, Eiza Gonzalez, Sam Heughan, Toby Kebbell, Talulah Riley, Lamorne Morris & Guy Pearce. Director: David S.F. Wilson.

Blood in. In a cinematic pit stop, the fate of the Furious 'F9' movie has it back in the garage, as the latest 'Fast and Furious' movie will remain in the shop for another year like hiring a cowboy mechanic to fix the "tiny unicorn s#####g in your filters" (get it Dane Cook!). This stalled installment is now quarantined like all the James Bond's with 'No Time To Die' and 'Black Widow' and 'Mulan' wonder women before it. But one Vin Diesel movie that did hit cinemas before corona and the subsequent quarantine in theatres was 'Bloodshot' now blood streaming. The Vin Diesel comic book adapted superhero (who was originally in talks with another anti-hero in the 'Morbius' vampire blood of Jared Leto) with a rising sun of blood on his 'Punisher' like chest. Making it just in buzzer beating time like Ben Affleck's 'The Way Back' basketball coach and Elisabeth Moss' disappearing, 'The Invisible Man'. The cult action throwback in the same vein of a 'XXX', 'Last Witch Hunter' from 'Babylon A.D.' cult B-movie beauty like the 'Pitch Black' 'Chronicles' of 'Riddick'. The kind of underrated pulp sci-fi from David S.F. Wilson like Will Smith and Will Smith's 'Gemini Man' from Ang Lee and the fall that would have done numbers 20 years ago if released then like it was originally intended. Still, there's nothing wrong with nostalgia. But after being shot in the face right out the gate with closure-literal and critical-how is this bloodsport hero for hire, universal soldier (like a Jay Electronica and Jay-Z 'Written Testimony') of fortune going to resurrect itself now?

"And initiate sequence" like Johnny Cash classically covering Dean Martin's, 'Memories Are Made Of This'. "Gina I'm home", Diesel purrs with that love Letty genuine warmth that makes revenge thrillers like this, his best ever 'A Man Apart' and the fourth 'Fast and Furious' movie so humanly compelling, despite all the bloodshed as Vin takes villains to the woodshed. His stirring scenes with inspired 'Inception' and 'Westworld' actress Talulah Riley playing house are like 'Apart' and the laments of Letty in their charmed romantic nature lifted from the greatest love songs, or the most simple, but beautiful, little things of life. But a digital display backdrop  set in the same underrated Summer of McConaughey's 'Serenity', in a Denzel 'Out Of Time' sleepy, palm paradise of a local fishing town makes for anything but peace with Guy Pearce's cardigan and librarian glasses, nerdy, megalomaniac iron war monger with a bionic Bucky arm, featuring more apps than the latest smartphone. This is clearly below the 'Memento', 'The Time Machine', 'Prometheus' and 'Iron Man 3' Academy actors paygrade. But the legend who recently was 'Peaky Blinders' Scrooged for 'A Christmas Carol' last festive season is clearly having a riot. With bloodshot eyes a fast and furious Diesel is scope focused. "You know nothing about men like me" his military mind barks at Guy with self and rank conviction. As this war dog tagged is sick of being kept on a general leash, in a movie that has so much to say about how America treats its bravest, patching them up to fight again with all the tools, no matter what it does to a man's mind, over and over again. That's the core message of this marine movie. More soldiers die off the battlefield than on it these days. Do you understand? It shouldn't be either way. And in sharing strands of DNA on the Jake Gyllenhaal 'Source Code' intel of a Tom Cruise 'Live.Die.Repeat', 'Groundhog Day', 'All You Need Is Kill' mission impossible for this dark comic book adaption and novel graphic incarnation of a Valiant idea. "I feel like I just heard this! Are they playing this on repeat?" Mind. PEEEEW. Blown. With 'Edge Of Tomorrow' tech strapped on like an 'Elysium', Borg mainframed exoskeleton drilled in, this industry looks to turn Winter Soldiers into Terminator's like Bucky Barnes. But this time there's no cap to save him like 'Fast Five' onwards co-star Tyrese's TGT bandmate Tank and his new quarantine E.P. to save out souls, 'While We Wait'. Although there is an epic elevator scene right down the shaft (easy) with outstanding 'Outlander' actor Sam Heughan that could even make Captain America want to get off (easy now) before we get started.

"And initiate sequence" like Johnny Cash classically covering Dean Martin's, 'Memories Are Made Of This' all over again. Diesel powers this picture. His blood the petroleum. And just wait until it ignites like a million drones with batteries not included working underneath, or Nanites in this Marvel mask nano-tech, iron filings age like the insects of 'Minority Report' or 'The Matrix' spaceships. This shaved dome doesn't need bullet time. He's the resurrection this Easter. Dodge this! "I'm telling you one day when you're ready...you won't have to". Vin is still as 'Boiler Room' hot as when he came into this acting game. Now going 'Wheelman' to 'Faster', axle to grind with 'Fast and Furious' and 'Hobbs and Shaw' (and how about the star of that movie Eiza Gonzalez on the breakout of her career here like riding shotgun in 'Baby Driver', linking the two too?) tyre spin-off star Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson as this generations Schwarzenegger and Stallone, expendable, last action hero rivals. Diesel being the sci-fi, soulful Stallone ('Judge Dredd' and 'Demolition Man') with more heart and smarts to his storytelling. Whilst The Rock's journey from a hard place to Hollywood is one hidden behind raised eyebrows and the light heart of 'Jumanji' family fun (although there was some Diesel in the formula for 'The Pacifier'). Both have franchises you forget ('Riddick' and the 'Scorpion King'), both have ones that will never let (the dual lane of the 'Fast and Furious' bicep bound, bald star vehicle). And both work even harder than the other one even bench presses. So before you ask me which one I Pepsi/Cola prefer...both are good. I can't choose like a proud parent. This isn't a "can't tell the difference" Dave Chappelle case of, "Pepsi paid me last (or Vin was in a movie last), so (shrugs)...tastes better". But wait...there's more from the blood red room of developing action that 'Tenet' rewinds against the Guy from 'Memento' to give you another second chance at this movie when the quarantine lifts. All for what might develop into more spin-off, shared movies like this Groot voiced M.C.U. and hopefully not a Universal 'Dark Universe', despite the iconic 'Invisible Man' making sure none of this truly disappears. This Valiant effort with red eyes looks to have a better shot however as 'New Girl' star Lamorne Morris does a better job (like he does at hacking a great Brit character over the 'Oceans' of Don Cheadle) than co-star Jake Johnson did as the loosely wrapped comic relief in 'The Mummy' with Tom Cruise. So if you're bandaged up and stuck at home with nothing better to do, now theatres and their releases have been pulled like Vin Diesel back into action as Sony make this available on demand in your living room for this old school action Jackson, there's nothing wrong with some tried and tested meat and potatoes for supper. We need leave your brain at the door (or in this case is that the floor?) movies like this sometime that will leave you dancing like 'Planet Of The Apes', 'Fantastic Four' and 'Black Mirror' actor Toby Kebbell between the meat locker steaks in a big winter coat like a shadowboxing 'Rocky'. Time to stick this one until the good fight is done. Blood out. TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'Gemini Man', 'A Man Apart', 'Live.Die.Repeat.'

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