4/5
The Pretenders.
7 Episodes. Starring: Fran Lebowitz & Martin Scorsese. Director: Martin Scorsese.
I heart New York. As a matter of fact, New York, I miss you. I miss the moment you descend towards your touchdown in JFK and see the whole Empire in front of you as your state of mind changes like the keys of Alicia and Jay-Z epic energy. I miss the sea of yellow that greets you as you make your way out of passport control after hearing your first New York accent for real. "How many days you stayin' heeere?" "Hey...forget about it!" I miss when the cab makes it through the Lincoln Tunnel toll on a dime and then you're in the concrete jungle. Dreams being made on every corner like the spirit of the steam that rises from the manhole grids and the hot dog grills. I miss, missing the Empire State Building, but wait...you head down a few blocks and there it is again. I miss debating whether the Chrysler is nicer. Or if like King Kong it ain't got s### on NYC and the world's most famous landmark. I miss passing the World's Most Famous Arena and knowing tomorrow you're about to see an NBA game in the Mecca of Madison Square Garden. No matter how bad the Knicks are. That didn't stop Bernard King, Patrick Ewing and Carmelo Anthony from becoming Big Apple hoop legends like Pee Wee at the Rucker. I miss when yellow and red tail lights meet all the electricity and then you're here. In the heart of New York and the entertainment core of the world, Times Square. I miss all the lonely people like Eleanor Rigby. Hey, we all do. I miss being crammed in here for New York watching the ball drop in 2015 with Old Blue Eyes, no toilet breaks and a piercing glare at the family who managed to hustle in some crackers. I miss how calm these busy streets are on top of those red bleacher Tkts steps. I miss finding a last minute ticket to see comedian Dave Chappelle on Broadway when I was in the city that never sleeps and that I've lost count on of how many times I've been to on my last trip there before this Englishman once in New York like Sting moved further East to Tokyo, Japan (which may have just been my last trip...at least for a bit). I miss seeing fireworks on the fourth over Brooklyn Bridge. I miss Dumbo like I miss Barack's big ears when that was America. I miss all the times I ended up on the city for Thanksgiving (I was just trying to catch the start of Basketball season) and I ended up seeing the Macy's Day Parade again from a spare sidewalk, but no turkey. I miss the people you would meet. I miss Billy being on these streets. I miss staying in the John Hughes 80's decor (never change) of the Hotel Pennsylvania across from the Garden which meant I could go to games in my bathrobe. I miss postgame Dunkin Donuts adjacent from the mailbox like a Fun Lovin' Criminal or something. I miss grabbing Seven Gramms of coffee a few blocks down. I miss walking the High Line to the Tribeca, the Meatpacking District, Lady Liberty. Chelsea. I miss the Staten Island Ferry. Central Park. The Guggenheim. Everything being a straight walk away. Amsterdam Avenue. Broadway Bagel and the owner who nodded at me and smiled through the sunshine of the glass as I headed for my flight. The Broadway Diner and Mario. If you know, you know. The place I saw Springsteen, Seinfeld and Tony Bennett. Hosted by Jon Stewart for the heroes. I miss seeing a taping of 'The Daily Show', Letterman, Fallon rehearsing. I miss the late nights. I miss the early morning coffee. I miss why we wake up in the mornings. I miss the Subways. The bus. I miss the Greyhound to Boston...and the divine Providence that came between. Port Authority. I miss coming back.
If you miss New York too then 'Pretend It's A City' is the show for you. As the humorous humorist, public speaker and American author Fran Lebowitz walks around in Dylan shades and countenance down these former 'Freewheelin'' streets with a coat hunched for the cold. Not to mention The Queens Museums perfect Robert Moses Worlds Fair 3D model Panorama Of The City Of New York which is the closest we can get to taking a real bite out of the Big Apple right now, besides this marvellous miniseries. All to the direction of Netflix's 'The Irishman' Martin Scorsese giving the best of his digital deal as he leads the cameo judge of his modern 'Wolf Of Wall Street' classic who executed Leonardo DiCaprio's Jordan Belfort with one look up from the legal briefs when one of his rap sheet highlights included perverting the course of law. Its that same incisive look that comes with knowing that makes her incendiary insights so spot on but also bang on your funny bone. No matter whose interviewing her. Alec Baldwin, SPIKE LEE trying to convince her that Basketball is an art form (I'm sorry Fran you have me on everything...but it is), Olivia Wilde, Marty himself, who can't resist cracking up as we do too. Every time she cracks the whip. She's just that smart and right now with all the original series Netflix has rights to, nothing is more original, refreshing or so funny in a time were we all need a little laugh, like this. Sardonic, but never too shamelessly sarcastic in her social commentary of sensibilities, you can tell this modern day Dorothy Parker loves this city, even if she tells fellow commuters on their phone like they're all alone to pretend it's one. Her enthusiasm for it never really Larry David curbed as she strolls the sidewalks. Look up after you've seen Library Walk and all the quoted grids at you feet, you'll never guess what or who you might see on the street when you stop it with the tweet. In this social media OTT age of oversharing just so we can be the first to do it, everyone's tweets should come with an embedded spoiler alert. But this isn't what we do here and we won't ruin any of the punchlines for the great gags here. No matter how funny they are, or no matter how much we want to tell you about them like we want to say whose behind that door in Disney + and Marvel's wonderful and visionary 'WandaVision' series (Spoiler Alert 3000: It's not Iron Man). Still all the sharp and cutting cackle jibing jokes land like we wish we could back in JFK, LaGuardia, or hey, even Newark...we ain't picky.
Seven seals to take you through the five boroughs of New York will have you clapping your hands like we were back on Broadway...and how about Scorsese's scoring dynamic direction that breathes life and rhythm into the history and magical mystery tour of these NYC streets? As New York as the time this guy Harry met this girl called Sally in Katz Deli (I'll give what she's getting). From old movies to found footage of everyone from a young Fran to Motown's very own Marvin Gaye performing most of the soulful songs ever recorded from the heart on wax in a tracksuit like he was going out for one hell of a run (he was). This is another one for the archives for Toni Morrison...forever. In inspired interview and compelling conversation you could listen to these two and Scorsese and Lebowitz all day like Martin could Francesca. Part biography, all audiobook tour of NY, with street signs in perfect photography for your feet up on the coffee table. Not sleeping like this big city of dreams brighter than those 42nd street lights. From 'Cultural Affairs' to the Met (take your pick, museum, or transport), or the time Charles Mingus chased her down the street (we told you we won't tell). Stacking books over money. Sports and what really gives you wellness. Technology. Of course social media and bad writers (hello!) who live life with less character. The Hall of Records and let's not forget for the public volumes a library. All that makes this manifesto and visual tome a testimonial and love letter to New York and all its traditions. From your first port of call at Ellis Island complete with eye drops, to all you see in the city that never gets any shut eye before you close yours, even though you just want to continue watching until the only thing streaming is your pupils. Study hard when it comes to this public speaking course, because this piece of entertainment is also an education on the world's most famous arena of a town. Think you know New York City? Ask Fran that question again and she'll show you a side that you never see in the brochure but would have sold you on punching your souvenir ticket a long time ago. Getting into the grease of this place like cardboard slices of NY's finest pizza base. This is THE city. No reason to pretend. And who would of though the director of dark dramas like 'Taxi Driver' and these 'Mean Streets' would have the easiest going laugh that is a pure joy, encouraging the same? Martin Scorsese's 'Pretend It's A City' perfect Players Club (wait 'till you hear who owned this place and the joke that comes next) barroom conversations on streaming tap is the best thing on Netflix right now. And with so much to swipe through like the calendar days of a corona quarantined lockdown at home, that's no mean feat. New York, New York. Let's name and sing it like Sinatra twice. Here's to the greatest city in the world. Just pretend you're there. TIM DAVID HARVEY.
Further Filming: 'New York, I Love You', 'Public Speaking', 'The Wolf Of Wall Street'.
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