TV REVIEW - ATTACK OF THE HOLLYWOOD CLICHÉS!

4/5

The Lowe End Theory. 

58 Mins. Hosted By: Rob Lowe.

BOOM! My college English Language teacher, the great Miss Rafferty once taught us to begin any piece of writing with a word that catches the eye like 'Rye'. Not boring staples like 'The', 'A' and all that 'Once upon a time' (sorry Quentin) bollocks. It's such a cliché. So here it is Miss...why the whole class and her laughed at my explosive introduction I'll never know and still hurts to this day, so here it is...again. The world is so full of clichés, especially in this social media sharing age of the retweet. Being asked to "be kind" by the worst people ("FACTS!"), being told someone's never felt about another like they do about us...right now (triggering right? Do I sound bitter?) and of course who could forget being reassured that when we get fired from our job, our house gets burnt down and we lose that cat that never liked us anyway (spoiler, it's not in the tree. Let it go) that, "everything happens for a (f#####g) reason." Hash-tag, "LOL". 

One of the biggest clichés in this world is Hollywood. As much as we love it, that fact is so white...ahem, excuse me, I mean so right. And in Netflix's new comedy clip-show special, dusting the explosive shards off their shoulders like another cliché after the firestorm legendary comedian Dave Chappelle's 'The Closer' (there's more to it than meets the fire in people's eyes) special did for them close to the edge, Rob Lowe of 'The West Wing', 'Wayne's World' and 'Austin Powers' (he's Rob Lowe...we're not) hilariously hosts-grocery bag with baguette in hand-a new Netflix special that takes on all that in 'Attack Of The Hollywood Clichés' that doesn't need your rotten, killer tomatoes, or George Clooney. From Wilhelm screams to funerals from afar, this ticking time bomb takes on it all with aplomb, even sticking it to sexism and racism like only a cis gender, white male can. Featuring contributions from actors like Florence Pugh ('Midsommar', 'Black Widow') and Andie MacDowell ('Four Weddings' and even more clichés...but oh how we love it) and film critics like James King and Jonathan Ross this show is a hilarious delight and another great thing to Skype stream with my parents in-sync across the pond. Now we can't say much more than this...because that would be CLICHÉ ALERT, a spoiler. So about how a twist (*groans*). Let's get in on the act and run down our top five clichés that didn't make the cut in celebration of cinema that makes us think and turn around to the camera like Ryan Reynolds breaking the fourth wall, like Phoebe Waller-Bridge breaking the fourth wall, like Fred Savage breaking the fourth wall (you get the poked idea), "well, that's just lazy writing."

5. The Quantum Leap Tardis. 

My pop always says, "WMAS" and I think we should coin this idea after him. It means, 'Wouldn't Make A Story" and so many things happen like that in movies. Par exemplé, when someone George like a genie arm slapping his way into 'Seinfeld's' apartment appears from one location to another, seamlessly from scene-to-scene. Forgot a montage (hilarious moment in this 'Attack'). SHAZAM! Here they are! Yes, I get the concept of time, but sometimes it's ridiculous. Like they've figuratively and literally walked across the set, not the city. This is why we now have the one shot and get to watch a character literally walk from the front door to the end of the movie like 'Birdman' for this unexpected 'Virtue Of Ignorance'. You're welcome!

4. Exposition...this is where they over explain in a movie who the protagonists friend, family member, foe, food delivery guy is with an over the top, epic explanation and lazy backstory that would never happen in real life in an industry that prides itself on realism and hammers home this point way too mu... 

Like Sarah Paulson's Linda Tripp putting the phone tap squeeze on Bernie Feldstein's Monica Lewinsky in 'Impeachment' for Ryan Murphy's latest 'American Crime Story' (and then you "ate" the pizza?) character in films will literally cliff note explain their lives and loves to people like a Denzel Washington 'Philadelphia' six-year old (we already did in the title...to make a point (I feel like we have to over explain everything these days)). 'Attack Of The Cliché' sends this up perfectly with 'The Rock' of Ed Harris staring at the gravestone of 'His Wife'. But there's literally a Nicholas Cage film were he tells someone, "you're my sister" and it's not the wonderful, forgetful life of the Christmas 'Family Man'. The movie's called 'Knowing'. I rest my case like another overdone line. 

3. "No, you hang up". 

Have you ever noticed that in movies after people finish phone calls they hang up without saying bye (all praise to Larry David in 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' for riffing on this social "norm") and we're not just talking about police or hostage situations. Not cool! Did I do something wrong? God, if I had a nickel for a phone call every time I said that. 

2. Keep the change...because I didn't even pay. 

And here's a tip, tell me you haven't noticed that every time a character leaves a cab in a movie, they do so without paying! Again...not cool. No wonder Robert De Niro went crazy. The taxi driver chasing Will Smith's real-life character (he had a heartbreaking excuse) in 'The Pursuit Of Happyness' for what seems like weeks and is even better than every car chase 'Hollywood Clichés' runs down is every cabbie right now. 

1. An explosive end...but you just missed it. 

Finally who could forget (well apparently this show...but not in the picture promo), the greatest cliche of them all that 'Cool Guys Don't Look At Explosions' like a classic song from The Lonely Island performed by Andy Samberg, Will Ferrell and J.J. Abrams (probably guilty of this one too many times)? With this cliché this Netflix show and article wouldn't exist so let them have the final say and take a YouTube trip down memory lane. We would list every cool guy that's walked away from a fireball without such as giving "just a little look" like Clint Eastwood wanted off Rene Russo in 'In (in) The Line Of Fire', but then we would have to list every movie in the IMDB database. Besides stealing someone else's idea is so...you know what. As clichéd as if like any other Hollywood movie or this comedy special we just ended this review abruptl... TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: Every cliché...I mean movie in the history of Hollywood.