REVIEW: SPIDER-MAN : NO WAY HOME

4.5/5

Into The Spider-Villain Verse.

148 Mins. Starring: Tom Holland, Zendaya, Benedict Cumberbatch, Jacob Batalon, Jon Favreau, Jamie Foxx, Willem Dafoe, Alfred Molina, Thomas Haden Church, Rhys Ifans, Benedict Wong, Tony Revolori, J.K. Simmons & Marisa Tomei. Director: Jon Watts. 

Finally, underoos! And nope. I'm not going to say it. Whether he gets to say, "hello everyone" again. I don't care how long it's been and even if everybody knows. Or whoever punched the lizard in the Brazilian trailer. We've waited long enough here in Japan for the January 7th release of Marvel's 'Spider-Man: No Way Home', almost a month after its US and UK release, far from a Christmas homecoming, quarantined from corona. And I'll be damned if I'm going to spoil it for some poor kid anywhere in the world who still hasn't got 'round to spinning this tale and is still trying to swing past spoilers, weaving the social networks of this world wide web. Like George Clooney amazingly said in 'From Dusk 'Till Dawn', "I'm an a##hole, I'm not a f#####g a##hole!" We'll leave that to the numerous "reputable" review sites that I've had to scroll past with their not so subtle "veiled" spoilers. And yes, I'm being my least favourite expression of emotion, passive aggressive. But it's deserved here. These are supposed to be professionals. I know how to talk my way around a problem (see my review of Marvel's hallmark holiday 'Hawkeye' series, another game changer from the bow). I've been doing this for years...FOR FREE! You're getting paid for this s###! C'mon now! It's finally a relief for a music, movies and basketball writer who needs the necessary evil of social media to even try to make a living out of this thing that I'm in the clear. But yeah, I had it practically spoilt. I just had to suspend disbelief like Spidey hanging upside down for a kiss from Kirsten in the rain. I refuse to do the same in (un)kind. Besides I'm more concerned if Leon from 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', J.B. Smoove is back in this movie, but what did I just say about spoilers? At least I can now watch the mesmerizing 'Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness' (directed by none other than original 'Spider-Man' trilogy director Sam Raimi) trailer for your 'WandaVision' (which is actually the final post-credits scene after a mid-one that messes with our movie making minds once more) finally like we've at last got a glimpse of '12 Years A Slave' legend Chiwetel Ejiofor's dark arts turning sorcery, back again. It's been way too long. 

What I will say is having villains from both Tobey Maguire's 'Spider-Man' trilogy and Andrew Garfield's 'TASM' series for Sony is truly amazing and their own movie series validating in this previous studio separation angst. All leading to a spectacular showdown. Making this movie not only the best Spidey one (taking over from the dear boy of 'Spider-Man 2', Doc. Webbed up with the animated 'Into The Spider-Verse' that's about to go 'Across The Spider-Verse' with 'Moon Knight' Oscar Isaac's credits cameo Spiderman 2099), but quite possibly the most marvellous in Marvel mythology (save the 'Endgame' epic) and best superhero movie of all-time that doesn't question your seriousness. After the madness that Jake Gyllenhaal's great Mysterio left in his 'Far From Home' wake in London (still featuring some of the biggest stakes and visionary scenes in the crystal ball of Quentin Beck's head), we almost have a Sinister Six for this five-star movie. And they all look for something between redemption and revenge with no time to die in this timeline. Like the arc (reactor) of Jamie Foxx's epic Electro in all its project power. Recharged in realism and comic callbacks after the Blue Man Group of the electric Times Square showdown causing a blackout is left back in Manhattan. Or fellow 'Amazing' alumni of the Godzilla meets dinosaur like Lizard of Rhys Ifans (who is currently ravishing as Rasputin in 'The King's Man'). Voicing this villain like a fellow uncredited (why? Not here!) Thomas Harden Church's ('Spider-Man 3') reentered Sandman next to the comedian and gekko. He's welcome, but just don't offer him a seat if you take him home. But it's the big guns that really play it up and straight against the web-shooter. "Hello Peter!" In this modern Marvel and DC clash of the titans, this writer used to think that the Detective Comics had the best villains (but they were just all in Batman), but Spider-Man can sinisterly rival this. Willem Dafoe was once practically, perfectly in line for the Joker, but his Norman Osborn Green Goblin (sorry Dane DeHaan fans like me, that wasn't him in the trailer "HARRY IS DEAD!") and that face sneering memes and movie comic callbacks that are anything but trash, is Peter Parker's version of Wayne's Clown Prince of Crime. And boy does he create chaos and anarchy here. Nostalgic and magic like Alfred Molina's Doc Oc (check 'Into The Spider-Verse', I guess it wasn't Agatha all along on the end) finally on screen together. His 'War Of The Worlds' threatening tentacles back with a nano-tech upgrade playing squid games. Tussling with the tarantula arms of the Iron Spider who has more suits than Tony Stark (how about being back in black...and gold?), a PlayStation upgrade, or even an 'Anchorman' shopping spree as the legend continues. 

July 4th weekend, New York City, 2019. I was in the Big Apple for the independence day fireworks like Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum puffing on cubans in the desert, welcomed back to earth. It was almost my birthday and it was time to light my candles. Perfectly synced up with the then latest fourth of July set series of 'Stranger Things' set in 1985. The very year (yep, I'm no longer a friendly, neighbourhood kid) and month I was born. It all felt in perfect timing. Except the day I flew out 'Far From Home' came out. I had to catch the midnight showing 'round the corner of Madison Square Garden on my first night after a Knick game and it didn't have anything to do with Jake Gyllenhaal being in it (OK, maybe a little). Come the closing credits on-screen Spidey lands on the very sidewalk outside the very movie theatre I was watching it in. Hilariously provoking some classic New Yorker to remark, "ha, this motherf####r's outside!" All as Tom Holland's best Parker and Spider watches his fate on the mecca jumbotron of MSG. The big Mysterio unmasking and reveal of the return of J.K. Simmons' legendary Jonah J. Jameson (its so good to have him back and Fox News like working a different paranoid journalistic beat in this day and social media show age). From that point, this movie picks off. As real life sweethearts Holland and Zendaya (whose genuinely terrified acting whilst flying shows just how real an actor she is) swing through the subways, "off the wall like MJ in the early days" as these high schoolers face something far worse than detention for their Breakfast Club with Jacob Batalon. Public scrutiny and not getting into MIT. This is the Spider-Man big-three and the co-stars and friends who have modern take, crafted their own legacy in this cinematic cats cradle. Just like Tony Revolori's bleach blonde bully Thompson with even more flash. But the perfect crossover like in the comics or the Iron Man 'Homecoming' is the one with Benedict Cumberbatch's 'Doctor Strange', who before his own movie this year had a great fall like Loki for 30 minutes in his 'Ragnarok' cameo with this and 'The Power Of The Dog'. Offering us the chance to see the kaleidoscopic vision of his outstanding world again and in all reality muse over what it must look like for Benedict to go through all these Strange gestures without CGI. What the fox? Winks. Stranger things are about to happen these days as Peter needs to 'Scooby Doo' a botched spell that will have everyone forgetting his name like those old friends you meet at parties. Fanboy favourite Benedict Wong (who keeps showing up and then just pissing off in those portals, from wanting more in 'Endgame' to the "Orrrr" moment in 'Shang-Chi') warned them. The latest father and son relationship between Sir Steven and the kid in the spandex is just as heart warming and breaking as the Iron Man one or Beck one in Stark contrast, finding its own way 'Home'. But be careful what you wish for in this tampering of time that really gives you a moral message of power and responsibility. As this will trick everyone. From Jon Favreau's always Happy underrated assistant to theses multi-Marvel films (I mean his 'Iron Man' literally powered all this like a chest piece), to Marisa Tomei's truly amazing Aunt May. Maternal in the absence of Peter's parents and her own box of rice. You won't want to turn a blind eye away from anything here in this awesome assemble. All the way to a Statue of Liberty outfitted with a Captain America shield final fight in the sandbox that even rivals the 'X-Men' one on the Green Goddess of Lady Liberty. Carrying the multi-verse torch, if only they showed up. Don't get your hopes up! Besides too many cooks spoil the broth and dynamite director Jon Watts charging up with Electro and more knows how to create epic explosions in fan service that don't pander to the responsibility of the powers of rumour and speculation. And it's all still an amazing, avenging Spider-Man that's never been this spectacular. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Spider-Man 2', 'The Amazing Spider-Man 2', 'Spider-Man: Far From Home'.