REVIEW: TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES - MUTANT MAYHEM

4/5

Across The Turtle Verse.

99 Mins. Starring: Micah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr., Nicolas Cantu, Brady Noon, Ayo Edebiri, Maya Rudolph, John Cena, Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, Natasia Demetriou, Giancarlo Esposito, Jackie Chan, Ice Cube, Paul Rudd, Post Malone & Hannibal Buress. Director: Jeff Rowe. In: Theatres. 

Teenage dirtbags, this is your dream. If you're an 80s baby (hands up), and you've been moving slowly through life with these turtles since you were a half-shell. THIS is the feature for you to feel old yet. I still fit into my 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' t-shirt from the childhood cartoon of the 80s, but that might just be because I have arms like Donatello's useless stick (the slapstick shtick of that brought to brilliant bear here). As a matter of fact, the Turtles were so 'Gamera' kaiju big when I was a kid every time it snowed, we made snow turtles. You heard correctly. Little snowmen with red, orange, purple and blue bands tied around their heads. And you thought your childhood was cool (I used to write Sonic comics). Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and of course, Donatello. Sharing their monikers with people you might no (again, adapted to amazing, actually hilarious effect here for all the in-jokes and eggs that crack like Easter). Now, they're back in truly animated form for some 'Mutant Mayhem' mash, that's set to be a summer smash like another favourite 80s toy or video game. 

COWABUNGA! No hiding in the shadows or shells for this one. The recent live action reboot had nothing on the 'Dinosaurs' like nostalgic ones of days gone by (can we ever forgive that William Fitchner line, "we'll drain them of all the blood in their body...even if it kills them." Cue your confused 'Fresh Prince' meme). But this movie makes more out of the Turtles' legend that was so big they even comic crossed over with Batman who gets a nice nod of reference here (imagine framing him in the future for a movie mayhem mash-up). Put it this way, if you loved the Spider-Verse that even swung higher than all the live action Peter Parker's pointing at each other, then you'll love the rough and ready amazing animation of this form that wants to remind you of your youth in all its Robin Williams in 'Good Will Hunting' perfect imperfections. Just like hedging my 'Sonic The Hedgehog' comics (yeah right. They're some tall Tails). Lifting the sewer lid on a new franchise kick-starter (sequels and series to come on Paramount +) like a pizza box (nothing has ever looked as string cheese tasty as Ninja Turtle pizza). Unscrewing a whole new world in half-shell mythology.

Shredding the competition with more to come, this first film has it all. Just like a Superfly best in show Ice Cube. Or the original iconic duo of Bebop and Rocksteady, voiced in reverse order by John Cena and Seth Rogen, who serves as executive producer here, and I'm sure soundtrack DJ (as Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross score highly again, nailing it) as Tribe, De La Soul and more golden era hip-hop like the Wu-Tang Clan spins for this children's story like the Slick Rick era. Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Natasia Demetriou, Giancarlo Esposito, Post Malone and Hannibal Buress also add their vocal talents. But it's the legendary Jackie Chan playing Splinter with a list, whilst friend Donnie Yen deals with 'John Wick' and the 'Consequences' of some nunchucks this week in Japan too, who is the perfect cast. And how about "introducing Paul Rudd"? We have high-hopes for this kid's future. But in Jeff Rowe's (Netflix 'Disenchantment' writer from the producers who gave you chalkboards and couch gags) rowdy direction, it's the kids, Micah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr., Nicolas Cantu, Brady Noon and Ayo Edebiri as an amazing April O'Neal, still rocking mellow yellow, that are more than alright. They're the future, like this type of movie, that stops all other animations in their skateboard tracks and flips the cellular script. CG before your very eyes. You ain't ever seen anything quite like this. Especially when the ooze splat of this Nickelodeon movie fits into 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' life like 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' under the Brooklyn Bridge for your summer outdoor cinema. This schoolbook notebook sketch really comes of age. Turtle power up! TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse', 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987)', 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows'.