REVIEW: ROAD HOUSE

3.5/5

Road Trippin'

121 Mins. Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Daniela Melchior, Billy Magnussen, Jessica Williams, Joaquim de Almeida, Austin Post & Introducing: Conor McGregor. Director: Doug Liman. On: Amazon Prime.

The house always wins. To begin the madness of March on streaming, great Brit, 'Lock Stock' directing legend Guy Ritchie released 'The Gentlemen' spin-off series on Netflix, that has a tied-in covenant with his 2019 crime caper of the same name starring Matthew McConaughey. This came mere weeks after his actual Amazon Prime movie, 'Guy Ritchie's The Covenant' finally saw the light of day of a release in the land of the rising sun. To end the prime time of this month, that film's star has his own arrangement with Amazon. Remaking the 1989 classic 'Road House' (the late, great Patrick Swayze's 'Footloose') to bring more air to Prime TV's streaming war with Netflix and Disney +. Just like the time Matt Damon and Ben Affleck tried to bring Michael Jordan to Nike. But the bond may already be broken. 'Swingers', 'The Bourne Identity' and 'Mr and Mrs. Smith' (his film with its own Amazon TV remake right now) director Doug Liman is looking to boycott the film's release because it's not theatrical. Although Gyllenhaal maintains, Amazon always made it clear that this would be a home movie affair. Even if it is a roaring, untamed lion like its MGM production.

Your eyes may be left streaming at what a shame this is, because this fun, original besting, bar bust-up should be taken outside. It belongs on the big-screen in all its big bravado and fight night spectacle with an actual UFC legend. Building the great Jake up to look like one and actually film scenes during actual sporting events like fellow Hollywood heartthrob Brad's latest pit stop. Or the time a stronger Gyllenhaal hit you 'Southpaw'. The best ultimate fighting championed movie since Tom Hardy's MVP of 2011 'Warrior' is also a bloody cocktail napkin love letter to the Swayze original, switching it up to key in Florida. Wipe yourself off, because it's getting hotter out here, in a Hawaiian shirt Tom Selleck would be proud of. Remember when Steve Carell told a neighbourly Mark Wahlberg to put a shirt on for his 'Date Night' with Tina Fey?! Well, he forgot to tell Jake to button his up. As the great actor ('Donnie Dark', 'Brokeback', 'Prisoners', 'Nightcrawler' and so much more) convinces us of his cool, but cruel hard-man, muscled up demeanour. Never once treating any of his projects like they are second rate to the Academy Awards he should garner, or the Batmans he should have played by now. See the ultimate Hollywood like character in the 'Spider-Man' sequel, or his 'Ambulance' joyride with Michael Bay. Something we all sorely needed the weekend after the Oscars, where Will Smith did a bad boy thing. Ring the alarm for this one and one of the legacy making Liman's diverse and best. The man who brought out some of Tom Cruise's modern day best has every right to be pissed. This maverick movie, that brings that 'Top Gun' like retro 80s nostalgia for the classics back, deserves to take off.

It's like the perfect Spring Break movie before the Summer blockbuster circuit that passes the bar that it hits. Miami muscles, lavish locations and more cocktails than Cruise are served up, but there's more to slide across the bar like a goon in an old western. Jake sells the hard stuff, and the Hollywood acting in this B-movie affair, like the time his Broadway 'Othello' co-star Denzel Washington (how good does this sound?) was 'Out Of Time', also in Florida...ALSO in a Hawaiian shirt with punch. Meanwhile, some other big names tout his legend. Austin Post, AKA Post Malone, becomes a movie, as well as a rock star in the opening octagon that gets real close and personal with the one-two punch handheld directing. He refuses to fight a kindly, charming Jake...and a troubling tragedy in his backstory, is why. One man who will fight him, or at least sick his dog on him like 'Stand By Me' is devilishly good 'No Time To Die' turncoat Billy Magnussen, all Jason Clarke in McConaughey's beachside 'Serenity'. And what a dog it is in UFC superstar Conor McGregor's acting debut. The "introducing" tag like Anna Chlumsky in 'My Girl' is hilarious, but yet what an introduction. The literal bare cheek of it all when the Irishman takes down everybody in burning sight with his naked ambition. Akin to Jason Statham's 'Fast and the Furious' opening, transportation that put everyone in the hospital exactly where they needed to be. The cinematic, charming and compelling Conor is also exactly where you never thought you'd be convinced he could be. But you know, the man whose suit pinstripes once read "f### you" has always craved a stage. Add 'Suicide Squad' star Daniela Melchior, 'Fantastic Beast' and 'Daily Show' senior correspondent Jessica Williams, and Joaquim de Almeida staying in sunnier and shadier climates after 'Fast Five', and this Hollywood heavyweight brings the big guns to the burnt down house. Like Frankie said, this is one for the road. TIM DAVID HARVEY.

Further Filming: 'Road House (1989)', 'Southpaw', 'Warrior'.