Friday, 11 March 2016


(The first in our 'Comical Column'-that looks to be our next spin-off blog-looks at the big reveal of the latest 'Captain America: Civil War' trailer).

Web Redesign.

Last week I tweeted that when it came to the commercial promotion of the long awaited, hugely anticipated 'Captain America: Civil War' movie, a little like 'Star Wars-The Force Awakens' Spider-Man was the Luke Skywalker of this Marvel. Disney hey?! But last night Iron Man Robert Downey Jr. spoke for everyone on the hash-tag trends of Twitter and Facebook news feeds when his Tony Stark character classically said "Alright...I've run out of patience", introducing us to the new Peter Parker.

"Hey everyone"! We hope you brought another pair of underoos!

The world wide webs social media senses did more than just tingle the moment the Spiders shooters hit Captain America's red, white and blue shield.

"On your left"!

Oh the power! Oh the responsibility!

We just had to catch a glimpse of those Deadpool like animated, Spider-sense eyes (although one of my friends is right..."how the f### do you frown through a mask") and red and blue unitard...and it was worth the wait like 'Charlotte's Web' come bedtime.

It was bigger than it all...even Daredevil and The Punishers uncivil war. The amazing announcement of this classic, comic-book adaptation. The sonic Sony rights deal. The original, outstanding, tension building, "So was I", man tear shedding theatrical trailer. The touchdown of the sensational Superbowl spot, commercial record breaker. And all the things that came before it in this terrific trailer.

The sinister, single, perfectly pitched piano note opening a la Star Wars final trailer (Mickey Mouse hey?!). The barney over Barnes and where exactly the Buck stops...maybe with the real trailer scene stealing Black Panther clawing this Avenger Terminator off his bike (and how about the unmasked Chadwick Boseman showing the emotional soul and depth of heart acting he brought to just two introductory roles of historical significance, as Jackie Robinson and James Brown in '42' and 'Get On Up'?). The machine of the Winter Soldier shooting a war bird out the sky. And all the reactory properties from that story arc. Like the android of the Vision being electrically Scarlett kissed to death by the Witch he weds in the comics. Or Johannson's Widows peak of passion of dramatic acting. Or our Legolas, Hawkeye clenching up and firing an Ant-Man arrow from his bow that will hopefully grow into something that the Hulk buster would have to deal with...and how about that Green, mean machine? Didn't Falcon Anthony Mackie accidently spoil that one by putting Mark Ruffalo's Bruce Banner in the spotlight (his best media moment since he was asked whether someone black should direct the 'Black Panther' movie. To which he hilariously replied, "No! It's not like they got a horse to direct 'Seabiscuit'"!)? And how about Agent 13, Baron Zemo (at least we got to capture Crossbones) or Bilbo? Or another Ross' thunderbolt of a striking set-up (Red Hulk?!). And then Captain America and Iron Man's perfect teeth punching comic-book conflict that shows these two A-List actors step up their acting A-games (can you feel RDJ's emotion?) as the Superman and Batman of Marvel go to war over registration and who gets to catch the Spider amongst other friends.

"He with you?!" "I thought he was with you"!?

The red capes and cowl crusaders don't stand a chance. Steve Rodgers could still do this all day. As could the Russos who change the political climate of their last Cap thriller into a psychologically charged one. And they still have one ace up their sleeve like Iron Man that's Marvel's new face card. And no matter what the divided opinion is they were right to place this hand before their cards were counted. At least you know what side the webbed boy wonder is on now. But whether this Iron filling will have a second, metal legged suit is as turncoat a question as whether Tony will make Petey, "I am Iron Man", Press Conference unmask himself to the world and then strike him out at Yankee stadium like in the comics. Where does this ally really lie...or swing? Steve Rodgers may have an army...but Stark has a can we talk about the Hulk? Or even the hammer time of Thor?


Besides Tom Holland helped Chris Hemsworth take on Moby Dick 'In The Heart Of The Sea', the God owes him the honour of a favour. Still the flipping young, wonder years of Holland look ready to swing this Spider back to school and a class of his own. The new/old suit is straight C.G.I. radioactive in colour and is throwback, retro feel to the original comics and series. That's more than's hallmark. For everyone. For the fans. The original movie star trilogy Tobey Maguire. And the 'Amazing', Times Square, electric lights out Andrew Garfield and what could have been with his before 'Suicide Squad', 'Sinister Six', Green Goblin villain led movie that looks like it's still got at least some Venom to draw from it. But this cat Tom is going to make everyone else look like Jerry's because more than anyone else...even himself, the new Spider-Man is doing this for the classic character itself. Now that's how you become iconic.

Fantastic! Amazing? No...Spectacular!

This Peter Parker is so 2099 Miles ahead you don't have to even worry about Morales. But please, don't make us watch Uncle Ben die's not worth the spilt milk! Get your glass and paper ready, there's a Spider in the house..J.K. Simmons gets the picture. Anybody or creature can come crawling just takes some leg work. Incy Wincy's about to climb back up the water spout! TIM DAVID HARVEY.

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