REVIEW: RED NOTICE

3/5

Red (Thurber's Version).

118 Mins. Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Ryan Reynolds, Gal Gadot, Ritu Arya & Chris Diamantopoulos. Director: Rawson Marshall Thurber. 

Interpol defines a 'Red Notice' as, "a request to law enforcement worldwide to locate and provisionally arrest a person pending extradition, surrender, or similar legal action." Basically in layman's terms that would explain this to Denzel Washington's 'Philadelphia' lawyer like he was a two year old; these dudes are dangerous. 'Red Notice' on Netflix is redefining with its big-three of Hollywood superstars that look like they were survey brought together by a focus group, taking their talents all around the world to the postcard perfect paradises this service streams in. Rome. Bali. Valencia. Egypt. Argentina. The Cayman Islands. Paris. Someone's Instagram account. That's one hell of a feed. All as Dwayne Johnson, Ryan Reynolds and Gal Gadot (man, what a line-up), put the world and every other streamer worth it's broadband on notice. As 'Red Notice' like Taylor Swift's new version of her 'Red' album breaks streaming records for Netflix's biggest opening day for a movie. And this is when most of us are coming out of our stay at home quarantines. The only thing that could play this confidence heist is South Korea's juggernaut like BTS, 'Squid Game'. Red light. Green light. "LUCAS REBECCA HOBBS", you could call this a 'Fast and Furious' gear change of lane team-up. Even though Dwayne Johnson has distanced himself from the first car franchise like he has his wrestling name after his own spin-off. Although Vin Diesel is now trying to play nice. Maybe they're both just playing us all. One that also (SPOILER ALERT FROM TWO YEARS AGO) featured a cameo from Reynolds himself along with Kevin Hart setting up one hell of a sidecar. Because remember before she changed the superhero genre, Gal Gadot started her Hollywood career with the 'Fast and Furious' franchise. She may have got off the plane like Gary Oldman on Harrison Ford's 'Air Force One'. But if (FAST AND FURIOUS (IS IT 9) SPOILER AND TRAILER AND SOCIAL MEDIA ALERT) the can bring her boyfriend Han back, then anything is possible like Kevin Garnett in 'Hidden Gems' as this thing puts its foot down for the pedal to metal final lap. Damn, I bet you wish you watched all these movies we just referenced before we gave the game away, hey? 

Or is this team-up more like the titans of a comic-book DC franchise? With Wonder Woman, Black Adam and erm...the Green Lantern (I'd love to see it). All for the vastly underrated action director Rawson Marshall Thurber, whose credits include the legendary underdog story, 'Dodgeball', 'We're The Miller's' (say "hellooo" to the other Adam) and with Dwayne Johnson, 'Skyscraper' and the hilarious 'Central Intelligence' with Kevin Hart that probably led them to play with 'Jumanji' like Robin Williams. But alas Reynolds is 'Deadpool' now and although he doesn't break any fourth walls, he does balls with his 'merc with the mouth' signature sarcasm. Which we still get, even though the joke may be on Dane Cook's comedy career. This towns not big enough for both of their big mouths. RMT has always known how to gum and gin up the action and in the opening museum act of this Egyptian egg hunt like Easter ones in 'Free Guy', on the year of his career (see the 'Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard' for another franchise in the clip. But not Netflix's D.O.A. '6 Underground'), Reynolds is free running through a gallery of security. Sure, his stunt man is working overtime, but watching Ryan take apart scaffolding and a security team without one of his trademark quips (it's all action and expression) gives us the joys of Jackie Chan action like when he made those bullies beat each other up in 'The Karate Kid'. It's a shame that some of the rest of the action is spoiled by not coming close to this like when a Porsche pulls out for what looks like one epic car chase through the Italian streets, but then left turns into something much more hilarious. Although one 'Black Widow' like prison break sets it's own course, no tattooed back.  Because between The Rock and a hard place, this is Dwayne's world and Johnson's movie. As the man who is dominating every blockbuster summer like this new Stallone and Schwarzenegger action hero is actually the new Labour Day weekend Will Smith comes out of his turtleneck shell for one hell of an action and adventure (there's even some 'Journey 2' moments looking for theses lost gems to treasure) lead. And yes like Reynolds attests. Here's to the naked cow, or herd ("WE ARE SUEDE") that made that beautiful brown, leather jacket. Can you smell that no left over steak will be cooking after this tailor made look? 

Chemistry may be sizzling like pouring Cola over an Egyptian egg that turns out to be faker than Faberge at a flea market between Reynolds charisma and Johnson's charm, but it's Gal Gadot who steals the show the moment she slinky sneaks in and lifts even more. After '1984' this Hollywood throwback for our new age woke up to equality (that she leads the way with a charge of both bracelets) is a true trailblazing game changer. With Diana Prince and Liz Taylor energy, forget looking for her eggs, Gadot is about to play 'Cleopatra' and become even more iconic. Coming at'cha after joining Kenneth Branagh's Poirot for a 'Death On The Nile'. If you twirled your moustache on the 'Murder On The Orient Express', Agatha Christie fans, then just wait for this. Gal is that gi...no, woman and forget staring at the red dress like this was 'The Matrix'. When she ties it all-up, spearheading a Princess of Themyscira reference, she goes more than hand to hand with these two leading men...she owns them. Now with more star power than the team that tried to take down Clinton in Ryan Murphy and Monica Lewinsky's 'Impeachment: American Crime Story' series, you would think there wasn't any room for any other players. But then how about 'The Umbrella Academy' standout Ritu Arya holding her own like she was telling everyone what to do? Not to mention 'Silicon Valley' and 'Good Girls' Star Chris Diamantopoulos, sending himself up like he was a stooge again, when he's not taking his shirt off. He may be an expert at strangling, but it's Reynolds toddler quips that gives this voice of Mickey Mouse no room to breath as we are left laughing with a white glove over our mouths at his leather ones that OJ would be jealous of. Sure, all-in-all 'Red Notice' is not nearly as big as its stars or opening day numbers, but it's still some light entertainment everyone can enjoy this weekend between posting those Autumn leave pictures and getting a head start on your Christmas wrapping (I see you, sis). All for this Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie like 'Tourist' trap of big stars that is kept alive by Reynolds lines, The Rock's action looks like the raised eyebrow and Gadot's stellar stardom, not to mention a classic musical cameo...and Gadot going 'Downtown'. But if you decide to not continue watching may we suggest the Zack Snyder 'Army Of The Dead' spin-off 'Army Of Thieves' on Netflix, directed by and starring scene stealer Matthias Schweighöfer that's truly something different for your evening's heist? Or just put it all on red like Bruce Willis, because this film is too fun just to give in your notice early. Work through it and wait for it to all pay off like overtime. Because you can't start a franchise without cracking a few eggs and now the con is on. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw', 'Army Of Thieves', 'The Tourist'.