REVIEW: THE BATMAN

4/5

The Twilight Knight.

176 Mins. Starring: Robert Pattinson, Zoë Kravitz, Paul Dano, Jeffrey Wright, John Turturro, Peter Sarsgaard, Andy Serkis & Colin Farrell. Director: Matt Reeves. 

Riddle me this. Which clown had the last laugh, even when everyone pointed their fingers in his painted face? Heath Ledger's Joker. The answer is Heath Ledger's Joker. Remember? Back in 2008 there was hate, believe it or not in retrospect. All before the late, great actor changed this very game we play and redefined a role that even Joaquin Phoenix's outstanding fellow Oscar win couldn't hold a buzzer in the hand to. Shocking. And the same has happened here. Such is the life of superhero speculation causing more sourness than Scorsese. Now everyone's riding Paul Dano's Riddler cane...but oh did they question this amazing actor and director (he, Jake Gyllenhaal and the 'Promising Young Woman' of Carey Mulligan were Academy robbed for 2018's best picture, 'Wildlife') like they hadn't seen 'Prisoners' (also with Jake). And what of the man in bat black himself? Robert Pattinson's vampire finally turning into a winged creature of the night got all that 'Twilight' sucks bite. Like critics and fanboys weren't up for a 'Good Time' like the Safdie brothers, or saw the new direction cast by 'The Lighthouse'. Let alone stealing the show, suited and booted in Christopher Nolan's lock down defying 'TENET' tentpole blockbuster, which may as well have been his charming Bruce Wayne audition. Let's just be thankful Jeffrey Wright's copped role at commissioner to be Jim Gordon didn't get the usual racist row that comes with casting. Because Marvel's 'Watcher' policing the city of Gotham has earned his badge and will never have to turn in his gun. Or for that matter the 'High Fidelity' of 'Big Little Lies' and 'Mad Max: Fury Road' star Zoë Kravitz. Who's getting all the flowers like her rock god dad Lenny's ode to her, and don't forget the cream as a Selina Kyle that slinky moves like an actual cat. Not to mention a cat burglar. I mean this is a movie that has Colin Farrell in a fat suit so he can actually waddle like the Penguin and director Matt Reeves' 'Planet Of The Apes' mo-cap actor Andy Serkis, Gollum himself, fresh off a 'Venom: Let There Be Carnage' direction. Precious! 

Now there's a Batman! But Ben is back this year too for your 'Flash' point. As is Michael 'F###ing' Keaton. The Vulture who will also cameo in the Sony Spider-Man Marvel spin-off 'Morbius' (starring some Joker called Jared) coming out the cave as your favourite 'Birdman' avian superhero taking wing. For more multi-verse than the MCU. But this Wayne Enterprise is in the same mansion ballpark as Marvel's magic of 'No Way Home'. If not richer. We'll just have to see what the 'Madness' of 'Strange' says about that. The legend of those damn dirty 'Planet Of The Apes' is on a Statue of Liberty in the sand scale, next to the likes of Batman, Spider-Man, a science fiction 'Star Wars' or trek in this geek cult culture. Yet classic 'Cloverfield' director Matt Reeves' terrific trilogy still somewhat remains really underrated. And now he truly makes his benchmark with this brutally brilliant Batman. One that swoops in, down from Liverpool's very own Gotham gothic like Liver Building and will have us cowering at the face of the cowl. Because this feels even more like a horror film than 'The Joker' did. Set to a simmering score from forthcoming 'Jurassic World: Dominion' and 'Thor: Love and Thunder' with Christian Bale, music maestro Michael Giacchino that's on some classic Carpenter this Halloween set season. Even scaring the s### out of the the great Hans Zimmer's monumental moment. It's 'Something In The Way' of Nirvana for this grunge masterpiece led by a man set to become unplugged as Kurt Cobain. With the extra character of the hardest rain serving as powerful, punctuating percussion. More downpour than Prince sang about after doves cried. Even with an Easter Egg like moped moment like dancing in the pale moonlight, laughing in the purple rain. A tribute to the late, great purple one who sound tracked the first 'Batman' movie whilst dancing around in a Joker suit. A call back like the muzzle flash that illuminates this Bat's chest plate a bright shade of yellow. For Keaton and the camp beauty of Adam West before him, running on the boardwalk with bombs away. Christian's heaven sent performance. Kilmer killing it. And...erm George Clooney. We'd still never leave home without him. 

Affleck was meant to star, write and direct 'The Batman' before the reins again and again got handed to Reeves. And somewhere in this world of demanded cuts like the Ayer 'Suicide Squad' we'd love to have seen Ben's version. But he's in good company with Clooney for 'The Tender Bar' now, trading knightmares over glasses of something that kicks like bat blood. And 'The Snyder Cut' redemption of 'Justice League' really gave justice to his worn and weathered Bruce in a league of his own. But out of the woeful shadows of a weary world, we don't have to s### on Batfleck to celebrate Rob. Besides Bale taught him how to piss in the suit. Pattinson is pissing excellence as a perfect Bat however. His trailer teased, epic entrance stepping up and stomping all over some goon in play pretend face paint is the best introduction to a Batman ever. A nocturnal animal rising up inhumanly like an apex predator. Walking towards an upturned car like a terminating  'Winter Soldier'.  A stark contrast this year only two calendars into the job and already feeling the weight of his world and the cyberpunk like cesspool of a city (New York has always been Gotham (shout out to Gotham Square Garden) and the Times Square look of 'Blade Runner' is the best since Tim Burton's 'Batman'), set to blow like a powder keg. But has 'The World's Greatest Detective' (even if he has got the whole face-mask thing all wrong), taking it back to Frank Miller time over three hours met his match? Paul Dano's Riddler with all due respect to Jim Carrey and 'Gotham's' own Cory Michael Smith is unquestionably the best yet. With a legend and ledger of quotable riddles that will go down in Batman lore. Straight duct tape pulling scary. Going viral wrapped in cling film, coming out of his own 'Se7en' like cave with spray painted marks around the city like we saw teased in 'BvS'. Really stirring your coffee with barista maestro latte art when he gets arrested at a local coffee shop, causing more chaos from inside Arkham. An Asylum of madness behind glass like Loki, holding on to all his words. It's a good job the Bat has good company in Kravitz's cat, tweening between good and bad, lover and friend in the best sort of way. Dressed to the catsuit nines after the lives of Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfeiffer, Halle Berry, Anne Hathaway, Camren Bicondova and the voice of the late Naya Rivera. Not to mention Wright's right on the money Gordon, bringing poetry to these greeting card proceedings, with an even better relationship. And the fractured family one with Serkis' brutally British Alfred (again think the great 'Gotham' series) for a young Bruce who is yet to master the playboy life of a young prince in the family castle. But what a hot rod he drives for a caped crusader era, classic car chase connecting like Gene Hackman's French. Once the igntion starts on this revved up Batmobile in the auditorium, it will rip through you like a chainsaw from Texas. Favourite character actors John Turturro playing Falcone and Peter Sarsgaard, picking up were his beloved 'Lost Daughter' director Maggie Gyllenhaal left off as Rachel Dawes bag pivotal performances, bolstering this all star cast. But it's one of the underrated best actors of our generation Colin Farrell, unrecognisable as the Penguin with the best line of the movie (and we're not talking about the "take it easy sweetheart" one like a "are you working tonight, darling" bouncer) that is so good, he's got his own HBO Max spin-off show like John Cena's 'Peacemaker'. He's got you. And in years time he'll get new audiences again watching on their home box office wondering who that voice of this video game like bird belongs to. Just like we all used to do watching Blockbuster videos at home before the Internet and an IMBD search. Spoiler alert, it's not Richard Kind, Larry David's brother from 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', but I thought it too. Now if only those Matthew McConaughey rumours of Harvey Dent were true. Still, don't be a two-face. Reeves may have another trilogy on his battered and bruised vengeance vigilante hands with his hallmark Hitchcock Hollywood era and plenty of young, next generation stars to age with it, but don't ruin it. Those already tweeting about a well known actor making a cameo appearance are spoiling it...and it's not very subtle like a 'Dark Knight' Lamborghini. Do you really plan to threaten this person who "spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands?" Now who's afraid of THIS big, black bat? Riddle me that! TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Batman Begins', 'Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice', 'TENET'.