4/5
Jeff Goldblum According To The World.
Must live faster! Who would have thought that the man who used to talk about chaos theory like water running off the heel of our palms would be the one to show us that life finds a way? Well of course! Have you never seen 'Jurassic Park'?! This is the one and only Jeff Goldblum we're talking about. An actor and attraction in the cult celebrity status stakes of a Bill Murray or Keanu Reeves legend. A jazz pianist who halfway through compositions asks singers accompanying him like comedian Sarah Silverman if it's OK to leave butter out of the fridge the night before he has toast for breakfast, as he wants to make it as soft and spreadable as possible. A man who when someone in college compared me to him (I wish. I was wearing an open black shirt, jeans (not open, mind you. No, no, no) and shades combination that day. I look nothing like him, at all) made me want to expire with happiness. 'The Fly' legend really is the flyest. He can get away with everything. From wearing cow pat print pants here, to uttering the same line about the need for speed in two of the 90's biggest Summer blockbusters. 'Independence Day' with Mr. Fourth of July, Will Smith and something about embryos and (*clenches fist*) Newman. But now since the 2020 quarantine from coronavirus has locked us down from seeing the world, or even each other. Leaving us tapping the screen and asking if we plan on having any living in this life we were meant to lead. We can do it vicariously though, through the man who trolled John Hammond. All before this becomes a fog.
I really love that man! Accordingly, just like the rest of the world. Why? C'mon do you need a reason? Let me count one of the ways. The planet pandemic that has kept us truly distant from each other sucks. It truly does. It's the absolute worst. Although, I can't complain. I'm still an extremely lucky man. I managed to achieve my dream of moving Far East to Japan (inspired by Bill Murray in 'Lost In Translation' no less). Right in time for the Tokyo, 2020 Olympics (it turned out, earlier than I expected and almost meaningless) and right before the world all went to our own personal and shared hell. I stayed here, because not only did I fall in love with this place, but coming home could risk infection on a flight and then potentially passing this dreaded, deadly virus on to my family. There's no way I was letting that happen. This is why two Christmases later I still haven't returned...yet. Let's hold out hope and crossed fingers for this one. As I say though, I can't complain. I've achieved my teaching dream here, kept the writing rolling and even recently met a special someone this Valentines. But being away from my dear mother, father, sister and her fiancée (also called Tim. I know, crazy right?!) and their new pooch Parker is as hard as hell. So what keeps us connected in this Zoom time?! Well, we soon to be 'This Is 40' age call it Skype. And when we're not putting the world to rights for hours we're Skype sync watching something together like 3...2...1. Go! "You didn't go? I'm on 8 seconds!" Movies, YouTube videos, copious amounts of 'Seinfeld' and of course Newman. It's like a weekly tradition, which ends on Sunday with 'The World According To Jeff Goldblum'. Sneakers, ice cream, tattoos, denim, BBQ, gaming, bikes, RVs, coffee, cosmetics, pools, jewellery, dogs, dance, magic, fireworks, monsters, tiny things, puzzles, motorcycles, birthdays (Happy Birthday, Mum. We watched this one just in time this year), backyards and everything inbetween, pole to pole.
Keeping us connected with something other to do apart from the crossword (which is also an underrated joy), I can't thank Jeff and Disney + enough for this absolute joy. Especially as my Mum used to find Goldblum quite the dish. Which yes, makes the college comparison back in the day a little 'Back To The Future' weird. Just like I can't recommend enough doing this with your folks (the streaming of the show), if at a distance. It brings those living room memories back (especially for a waster who didn't leave home 'till way past 30 (I had a plan...and it has just come to fruition) and seeing their reaction to certain movies and comedies on screen is purely priceless. So much so I've talked about this and the world instead of 'According To Jeff Goldblum' for over two thirds of this piece. This is really a love letter to video call watching movies with my Mum and Dad. My bad! If you're a regular reader you know how I do. And the fact is. I haven't even watched all of these seasons and God knows how many episodes that are constantly getting added to the stream. But that doesn't matter. It's not cheating. I more than get the gist and the beautiful message he delivers every week like a Springer final thought, over montaging slow motion even 'The Matrix' over on the rival Warner Bros lot would be jealous of when it comes to this Disney magic like the amazingly titled National Geographic nature show presented by 'ID4' co-star Will Smith ('Welcome To Earth'). Besides, did you see how long it took me to review 'Squid Game'?! Forget this binge culture. Especially when I don't get home 'till Cinderella ball shy of midnight and have to time it right with a time difference bigger than me and my father's foreheads to get on the same page with my parents. These beautiful wonders of the world in Goldblum gold are meant to be savoured, like all good shows. Not the thirst of being rushing to the finish line to be social media first. Who cares? We're taking our time with these. But I promise you this. For all you will see in this series and watching world today. If you're having a bad day, fear not. Nothing will put a smile on your face quicker than Jeff Goldblum dancing with a sea lion. It's literally as legendary as it sounds. Like him crashing a kids party and starting a water fight. The joy on Jeff and our face can't be contained, reminding you of the good old, simpler times. When everything truly was more open. So much so we took it all too much for granted. Showing you a still United States at the 4th of July BBQ for those divided on the land of the free right now. Even today after all we've been and continue to go through. If the world could still be anything like it is according to Jeff Goldblum. What a wonderful world it would be. TIM DAVID HARVEY.
Further Filming: 'Will Smith: Welcome To Earth', 'The Chef Show', 'Jurassic Park' (you know why).
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