REVIEW: BLONDE

 

3/5

Blondes Prefer Gentlemen.

166 Mins. Starring: Ana de Armas, Adrien Brody, Bobby Cannavale, Xavier Samuel & Julianne Nicholson. Director: Andrew Dominik.

'Blonde' ambition. Ana de Armas IS Marilyn Monroe. The full bold and beautiful embodiment in this epic, now streaming on Netflix. Mere months after she went 'Gray' with men like the Russo's, Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans for the streaming service. You saw this, headshot for real thing headshot in black and white, before the trailer teased like standing over a Subway grid. Brought back here to dramatic effect for your flashbulb memory. But it's more than that. Or the terrific tone of voice and capturing of character. Ana de Armas is Norma Jeane. But the 'No Time To Die' Bond woman who is more than a bombshell has nothing to do with this atomic 'Blonde's' hatchet treatment of her muse. If you want a real tribute to to Miss Jeane, listen to an Elton John song. Nothing else holds a candle.

'Killing Them Softly' director Andrew Dominik's ode to Marilyn at many times exploits the Hollywood icon, all whilst trying to show us how the world did that to her. From her dear mother to Mr. President. Dominik is a dominating talent, but is this unflinching biopic a Jordan Peele like message to those who love the horror of a spectacle ('Nope'), or something much more insidious? The irony here is not funny. Sure, this is not cowardly character assassination of Norma Jeane Baker, but the director of that Robert Ford movie (produced by Jesse James himself and long-time collaborator, Brad Pitt, currently doing the globe-trotting rounds with his 'Bullet Train' trip), needs to know when to rein it in. Clocking in at around three hours, some like it hot...but not this hot. Open a window and let some air in. 

Sure, 'The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert' made you earn the same deep character study for 160 minutes, but that's what neo-noir is all about. This haunting art-house, fever nightmare thriller reminds us of another Netflix misfiring one with better intentions, 'I'm Thinking Of Ending Things' (and we really were). Or a poor man's 'Black Swan'. Better yet, Darren Aronofsky's 'Mother!' which was a clusterf### (the movie, not his mother. I'm sure she's lovely). Yes, there are amazing artistic moments that come to LIFE here like a magazine cover. Gripped bedsheets turning into waterfalls like Niagara may be a little on the nose, but it's the best thing since Francis Ford Coppola transition turned 'The Godfather' of moustaches into a Sicilian tree. The classic cinematography here in every tone can't make up for the film's actual tone. Toxic and torturing like its runtime, you shouldn't start at 11pm the night before work (just trust me on that one). Shock and gore and even a bird's eye view from you know where, this is all too much. Oh, and filming her death in the same place Marilyn passed away? It blurs the lines of disregard and is a harrowing homage. Some may see as disrespect. 

Delivering her best performance, however, despite the 'Knives Out', Ana de Armas amazes in what should still garner an Oscar nomination. Even if most would rather spend 'A Week With Marilyn', Armas even arms up a better role than fellow chameleonic Miss Jean, Michelle Williams. Replacing the eyes of 'Tammy Faye' Oscar winner Jessica Chastain, who would have also been incredible. And maybe even Margot Robbie's 'Gentlemen Prefer Blondes' pink dress Harley Quinn audition for her 'Emancipation'. From Andy Warhol silk screen, to Madonna materials and band names. Everyone has tried to capture Miss Monroe in her true essence. But you just can't. The fact that Ana got this turtleneck on the sofa close is astounding. The fact that this movie tries to corset confine it with claustrophobia is beneath her. Stranger than the fiction it promotes itself as, this psychological thriller, blonde on blonde based on the book of the same name by Joyce Carol Oates is a straight-up horror. Suicide blonde in excess. Threatening to turn Marilyn Monroe into a caricature, only Ana can save and make whole. 

There's a best picture in here somewhere, but it's based on Armas portrait. More than a wig like 'Blade Runner 2049', she brings the humanity. Even best actors like Adrien Brody (as 'The Playwright'), Bobby Cannavale (as the New York Yankee 'Ex-Athlete'. You know his name, Simon and Garfunkel told you) and Xavier Samuel (as Cass Chaplin, son of Charlie) try to silence this screen siren. Just like a mother crazier than said Jennifer Lawrence movie (a brutal but brilliant Julianne Nicholson). But it's the revolting scenes with JFK that are truly harrowing. Removing the romanticism of those rumoured "secret" White House tunnels...permanently. 

Rock God Nick Cave's cruelly compelling soundtrack underscores this as he gives the Nine Inch Nails of Trent Reznor a run for his money, six feet under. Haunting like 'Jackie' or 'Spencer' broke free from power, but left alone. Still, this at times botched biography with powerhouse potential has its intentions in the wrong place of influence. The only thing that inspires is Ana de Armas' punctuated performance and the resilience of her and the legend she plays, shaping her own legacy from the one left by this great. She and Marilyn deserve better. But this film has sharp points to make. This 'Blonde' is not fun or dumb. The lack of smarts comes from those ignorant ones who just saw her as flesh and didn't look under the skin to the beating heart. Sadly, in this industry that has far too many people having to say, "Me Too", some things haven't changed. Illegally blonde. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Black Swan', 'My Week With Marilyn', 'The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford'.