REVIEW: PINOCCHIO

3/5

The Lying King.

105 Mins. Starring: Tom Hanks, Benjamin Evan Ainsworth, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Keegan Michael-Key, Cynthia Erivo, Giuseppe Battiston & Luke Evans. Director: Robert Zemeckis. 

JIMINY CRICKETS! Wooden you believe it? There are more 'Pinocchio' movies out there than there is wood in a shed. There's even two being carved this year. I don't lie. My nose is big enough. I'm the kind of guy who enters a room and his beak has already been there 20 minutes. There is this from Disney + and then the forthcoming gothic stop-motion of Guillermo del Toro's new Netflix movie, this fall. Maybe that's why this film ends with the narration; "although many stories have been told," lamenting its legacy. Do we sense splinters? But they're not wrong. How about 2019's wonderful wood world? All the 'Shrek's' too? And of course the original magic of 1940, wishing upon a star. 

When you look upon this one that shoots across the castle that Mickey Mouse built, you'll miss the charm of all that vintage animation like a Steamboat Willie. But still, Disney keep whistling along to that iconic tune, as they chug out classic after classic in their live action age. Even setting some charming and chiming Easter Eggs to said stories. The Mouse house still knows how to cook up nuanced nostalgia from your childhood and that of your children's children to come. Just like shovelling coal into a box-office furnace. The best still belonging to Emily Blunt's perfect casting as 'Mary Poppins'. But under the umbrella of a different storyteller on Disney Plus day (that also features the streaming debut of Marvel's 'Thor: Love and Thunder' and BTS 'Permission To Dance: On Stage LA', live from your living room) who better to play Geppeto than Tom Hanks (well, aside from an Italian?).

Fresh off his compelling Colonel Parker villainous turn in Baz Luhrmann's 'Elvis', the hallmark Hollywood Hanks is back with that classic laugh like Woody, as he adds another iconic name to his filmography and Disney deluxe one. Forlorn but fondly in our hearts as the kindly toy and clockmaker, ticking and tinkering away at his life's worth of work and one weathered and worn wish, trying to string everything back together. Hanks reunites with 'Forrest Gump' and 'Cast Away' director Robert Zemeckis for more odd, but outstanding magic hiding the dark under a cloak. All as Zemeckis brings his man on the wire back, as 'The Walk' star Joseph Gordon-Levitt hits record on an unrecognizable vocal levitation left turn as the legendary Jiminy Cricket (especially in old school shock and awe reactionary statement). Sprouting a vegetable like head and a sweet signature sound every time he jumps. Add a cute CGI cat (go Figaro) and even more delights to this fishbowl and the 1883 storybook of 'The Adventures Of Pinocchio' by Carlo Collodi is storyboarded perfectly, with genuine delight.

Even the 1940s puppet is given a 'Toy Story' toy master like polish, no face-lift for to spit at. Thankfully, looking the bees knees in CGI, no sanding down. Because we were worried, like the fear of them one day making a new 'ET', without those amazing animatronics. But its new kid on the block Benjamin Evan Ainsworth (Disney's 'Flora & Ulysses') whose vocal shaky leg stand makes Pinochs a real boy. Truth be told. Even amongst big names like Gaston (Luke Evans' Coachman in the Willy Wonka 'Chocolate Factory' gone bad Pleasure Island for all you donkeys) and Keegan Michael-Key's sly and cunning fox that will have some saying 'Nope' like his comedy partner in crime Jordan Peele's latest horror movie. 

But upon this star, it's Cynthia Erivo's Blue Fairy that puts a spell on you and Giuseppe Battiston Stromboli and his amazing marionettes that really lock it down, as there are no strings on their talents. Shout out to breakout actor of the moment Sheila Atim in a blink and miss it moment too. And how about that song? As iconic as the Disney intro wish now, James Spader made it creepy as hell in 'The Avengers'' 'Age Of Ultron'. Onstage for some carnival scenes straight out of Guillermo's 'Nightmare Alley' with Bradley Cooper's shyster. Complete with the joke of the year when it comes to a certain actor called Chris. Timed perfectly in a spitting distance. Don't worry, darlin', we like this film's style. 

Hanks has your heart, and it seems Disney nose best when it comes to this shtick. But having more of a conscience to the original charm would have given this charismatic 'Pinocchio' the heart that will have made it truly real, boy. And that's the truth. Still, let the critics chirp like crickets as they say this ain't it. Even facing the chopping block, if you knock on wood, this alive action remake could be just what you wished for this fall. No strings attached. TIM DAVID HARVEY. 

Further Filming: 'Pinocchio (1940)', 'Pinocchio (2019)', 'Pinocchio (Netflix, 2022)'.