18, 105 Minutes. Starring: Danny Trejo, Steven Seagal, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan & Robert De Niro. Director: Robert Rodriguez. Screenwriter: Robert Rodriguez & Álvaro Rodriguez.
It may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but 'Machete' still makes the cut.
I guess this is why you didn't see Steven Seagal in 'The Expendables'. The pony tailed 'Lawman' co-stars in another Robert Rodriguez, graphically violent, 'Grindhouse' esque piece which makes the Sly Stallone ensemble film look as tame as 'Bambi'. The beautiful Jessica Alba, Lindsey Lohan and Michelle Rodriguez (no relation) also co-star as does Robert De Niro. The star of the show here however is Danny Trejo, character actor and action movie go to Mexican. Who would of thought that more than 10 years after De Niro's and Trejo's classic 'Heat', the tables would turn and it would be Danny who would be the leading man and Bobby the support.
What results is a one of a kind film really like no other. Trejo plays 'Machete' a blade wielding hero (of sorts) who is a myth in Mexico. Well this myth is about to become legend over 90 minutes of thrills and blood spills. After one of the most violent scenes you'll ever see to start a film (and it doesn't stop there) Trejo sees his wife killed by Steven Seagal (and I'm sure she actually screams 'SEAGAAAAL') and his Lee Majors, 'Six Million Dollar Man' sounding sword. So for the first time in slicked, 80's hair history Seagal is not the one out for revenge, he's the one who's the target for retribution. Now will he finally get his in a movie?
Still Trejo's got a lot more on his plate. Another slick haired gentleman offers him a suitcase full of what looks like well used money to assassinate Robert De Niro's, seriously...seriously right wing senator character. What seems to go according to plan isn't what Machete had in mind and now not only is he after everyone, everyone is after him. Holy Moly! Machete's going to need God on his side, or at least his priest padre, played perfectly by Cheech Martin.
So you can expect a lot of gruesome Rodriguez action that would make his friend and mentor Quentin Tarantino proud...and maybe even a little bit sick. Seriously with a decapitation count higher than most Charles Bronson bullet counts and vital organs used as 'leverage' it's hard to believe that this is the same guy that brought us 'Spy Kids'. You've got to love versatility. Even though the action is at most times too much to bare (if your on the wrong side of a date) there are some comic relief moments. Just like Machete's way of dealing with unwanted visitors or his hilarious use of garden implements. 'Sheer' genius.
The movie is coolly shot and 'Grindhouse' reminiscent right from the opening credits. Plus the border of Mexico provides a brilliant backdrop and back story. Speaking of stories, this films plot isn't that bad for a Wham, bam, thank you mam piece. Trejo is brutally brilliant as Machete getting all the villains and all the girls, despite looking a bit out of shape and...well you know. Speaking of those out of shape, Segal still works up a solid performance even though half of the time his scenes look literally phoned in.
De Niro is also convincingly brilliant as a Senator that has a pretty strong stance on immigration. The leading ladies in this film are on top form too as are the rest of the supporting cast. Jessica Alba throws out a great performance as an I.R.S. agent all whilst maintaining that 'Sin City' sexiness. Michelle Rodriguez is also a main attraction. 'She' brings her trademark tough sexiness to a movie that makes the rest of her roles look like rom-com performances. Even Lindsey Lohan delivers a performance worthy of credit and wears one outfit that you would never expect her to wear. You've got to love Rodriguez's humor and that's why you'll love the finale as this film grinds to a halt.
This film is pure fakism escapism. As cringe worthy as Segal's one liners but as cool as Machete's, 'Pimp My Ride' gatling chopper. As expendable but as enjoyable as Stallone's last hit. This guys favourite may be like sitting through 'Monday Night Football' for the girls and it may also be a few death certificates away from being more than a 'R' rating but still 'Machete' wields as much entertainment as it does gore. From the first action to the last cut this is one film that will have heads rolling in more ways than one. TIM DAVID HARVEY.
No comments:
Post a Comment