Saturday, 6 February 2016



Meet The Grandparent. 

102 Minutes. Starring: Robert De Niro, Zac Efron, Aubrey Plaza, Zoe Deutch & Danny Glover. Director: Dan Mazer.

Inappropriate just isnt the word. We all have those embarassing parents, but my God what about the grandparents? Mum and Dad may get out the old photo albums when your new date comes around, but these fogies pull back the curtain and dust off the slides...and you thought they had nothing to play those things on. Now they may not remember what they had for breakfast this morning but boy do they still remember when you where yey high! They've got all the stories. All the skeletons in the retirement home closet with no filter in this I.G. age. You've just got to love these O.G.'s in cordaroys, chinos or slacks, comfortable shoes and a flowery, Hawaian shirt that begs the question, "where you ever in Miami Vice"?! Florida may be their new home but boy are they still living, even when the teeth hit the bedside glass of water. Just wait until they hit the dance floor. They have a ball. And boy do they know how to cut a rug...they've probably had that one in the room since the first World War. But they're no joke. They'll show you how its done...pop some pills and do it all again. But don't you ever think about doing anything wrong, or getting into trouble, because they'll do more than hit you or anyone messing with you upside the head. But it's because they love you. They've got your back. And you've got there's. That's why when the day comes when they need you because they have nobody else there you have to do more than just call. Even if they just want a few minutes of your time or a cup of tea. It's your pleasure to do it. Remember. Anything! Even if they want you to take them away for a few days to forget about it all. You do it! Even if they want you to take them to Spring Break so they can get loose one last time you....wait...what?!

Zac's abs presents Bad Grandpa and boy is this dirty Jackass good! Now if you thought Bobby De Niro was crazy in 'Taxi Driver' or 'Goodfellas' than you aint seen nothing yet. Meet the grandparent still raging like a red bull and hungover from many a 'Casino' and 'Last Vegas' old man craps game in Sin City. They say in real life one of the best actors of all time Robert De Niro is one of the shyest people you'll ever meet...but you can't tell here. Between picking up cougars on the 18th hole to applying sun tan lotion to women that have only just graduated from Spring Break forget about locking up your daughters...lock up everybody! And trust us you dont want to interupt this guy on his morning "workout" routine. Now analyse that! Or this, this fomer gangster actor has turned gangster rapper, dropping all sorts of bombs and kareoke mikes. Ice Cube would be proud. Even if this crude and crass comedy is giving his 'Ride Along' sequel a run for its Kevin Hart money like Derek 'Zoolander 2'. Granddaddys home and this is Ferrell funny, slapping sticks and ass! Once upon a time in America this untouchable legend ruled the mean streets but now he's the post retirement King of Comedy when he's not moonlighting and mining for depth with David O. Russell for modern marvels like 'Silver Linings Playbook' and 'Joy'. This is still fun though, even if its not exactly for the pills before noon crowd. Some may not nod their De Niro head in approval from die hard fans of the icon to those who like their senior comedy more 'Downton Abbey' than 'Downtown' by Macklemore, but you cant shake him. Like the 'Godfather' too you don't want no beef boy! De Niro is still the don in a Sinatra smoking jacket.

Now if De Niro is a far cry from a retirement home than Zac Efron is the furthest thing from a 'High School Musical'. Can you believe this Hollywood hearthrob is pushing 30? Not to make you millenials feel old or anything. But here's an 'Akward Moment' for you as this fomer teen idol who did a dead on De Niro 'Taxi Driver' impression in the oh so good 'Neighbors' (look for the sequel knocking next door soon) is now next to Travis Bickle as the Goose to his Maverick wingman. But this top young gun is still on the top of his game like he was '17 Again'. Jumper draped in clothes that prep him up to look like 'Abecrombie and Bitch', Efron fashions and muscles up a perfect performance of the fading glory days of a "damn homie/in High School you where the man homie" kid all grown up to the "dream" life and wife that leaves him sleeping though his twenties and hitting the snooze button on his dreams....again. And you thought this was meant to be a comedy. But seriously though it is...and a Farley funny one at that. But it still has something to say. Especially to those critics out to pan it like...well erm 'Pan'. It's about lost youth and lost future, meeting in the middle like the bond of grandfather and grandson....toasted with jello shots. So raise your minature glasses to quite a pair. Like awesome actresses Zoe Deutch and the always hilarious Aubrey Plaza who channels her inner Girls Gone Wild For Seniors (literal seniors) here. She steals the show and De Niro's gaze for some hilariously akward chemistry with the professor. And let's not forget a lethally funny, classic cameo from Danny Glover finally trying to convince us that he really is too old for this shit. You never will Riggs. All in all Dan Mazers running ball and butt gags wont be winning De Niro anymore Oscars, but its a frat house welcome mat rib tickling respite from the January blues to the Greek letter. In a serious season of cinema too wrapped up in debate or laughing shy comedies afraid to go for the jugular. This one has the ball to go for the nuts...and boy is it that. BAP! TIM DAVID HARVEY.

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